Good morning! Today’s Shitbox Showdown is a little weird. But what the hell; it’s a weird week, with the holiday in the middle and all. You’ve got a lot of choices today. I’m pitting one car against three, or whichever one of the three you like best, since they’re being sold either separately or as a package deal. But before we get to that, there’s the small matter of yesterday’s wagons to attend to:
The Colt wins pretty decisively. Half the price and a stickshift, even currently non-running, seem to be enough to beat out a flabby ’80s Volkswagen automatic. Personally, having owned both a mid-80s Colt (but not a Vista) and a mid-80s Volkswagen (but not a Quantum), my imaginary money’s on the VW.
Today, there’s nothing flabby about any of our choices. They’re all lean, pared-down sports cars, with the engine sitting just behind you, and the ground whizzing by inches from your backside. All of them need some work to be roadworthy, but they’ve all got potential to be really impressive, and a hell of a lot of fun, when they’re done. You’ll have five choices in the poll at the end: the Lotus, any one of the three Porsches, or all three Porsches as a package deal. Let’s see what we’re working with.
1969 Lotus Europa S2 – $12,500
Engine/drivetrain: 1.6 liter overhead valve inline 4, four-speed manual, RWD
Location: Brentwood, CA
Odometer reading: 75,000 miles
Runs/drives? Runs, not drivable – needs brakes
Is there anything cooler than a Lotus? Wrap an engine and a simple, responsive suspension system in the least amount of bodywork possible, carefully tune it to react like an extension of your own nervous system, and go rip up a race track or a back road. While everyone else was throwing horsepower at their cars to make them faster, Colin Chapman was cutting his to the bone, making the most of what they had. Lotuses of the 1950s and 60s almost seem to resent the added weight of things like windshield wipers and turn signals required for road use. And in fact, the original Europa was so stripped-down it didn’t even have door handles or adjustable seats.
Instead of the Ford or Coventry Climax engines of earlier Lotuses, the Europa sourced its engine and transaxle from Renault. For US models, it displaced 1.6 liters and put out 80 horsepower. It doesn’t sound like much, but the Europa only weighed about 1500 pounds, less than half of what another contemporary fiberglass-bodied sports car, the Corvette, weighed. It was quick enough, but more importantly, it stuck to the road like glue.
This Europa had its engine rebuilt, and mildly hot-rodded, a few years ago, but the car has sat since. It runs fine, but the brakes need to be re-done before it can be driven. I want to point out one other thing that comes up fairly often in the realm of project cars or occasional-use cars: this car’s tires are “new,” but five years old. There’s no real consensus on exactly how old is too old for tires, but these should be considered “getting up there” in age. They’re probably fine for a summer or two, but you’ll want to replace them soonish, especially if you plan to drive the car hard (and it’s a Lotus, so of course you plan to drive it hard). I’m facing this with my own MGB; its tires are now seven years old, and I should probably replace them this year or next.
The seller says this car photographs better than it looks in person. The rear deck lid doesn’t match; I’d assume it’s a replacement from another Europa. It doesn’t look terrible with the black lid, though. Apparently the windshield gasket also needs replacing, but it’s included.
1970 Porsche 914 – $7,000
Engine/drivetrain: 1.7 liter overhead valve flat 4, five-speed manual, RWD
Location: Reno, NV
Odometer reading: 50,000 miles
Runs/drives? Not at the moment
Along one wall of a back garage/warehouse at a dealership in Reno, Nevada, hedged-in by golf carts and what appears to be an early-model third-generation Camaro Z/28, sit three examples of Porsche’s oft-maligned 914, a mid-engined sports car that, until recently, was written off by the Porsche elitists as being “basically just a Volkswagen.” But with air-cooled Porsches and Volkswagens hitting unprecedented, and sometimes downright idiotic, sale prices, the 914’s time has come, or at least this dealership thinks so, and they’re looking to cash in.
First up, we have this 1970 model, with a 1.7 liter engine. It appears to be rust-free and straight, and sits on a nice set of four-spoke alloy wheels. Its interior is intact but kinda trashed. The yellow paint is dull and faded, but if it’s just a single-stage paint like I’m guessing it is, it should clean up and shine up with some elbow grease. It isn’t currently running, but the seller says it “should run” with a little work. I’m assuming that means everything is there and connected, and the engine turns over, but they haven’t tried to get it going.
1972 Porsche 914 – $5,000
Engine/drivetrain: 1.7 liter overhead valve flat 4, five-speed manual, RWD
Location: Reno, NV
Odometer reading: unknown
Runs/drives? Nope
For a few dollars cheaper, we have this apple-green number, also a 1.7 liter, also not running. This one has the plain steel wheels, and is a little bit scruffier outside. The rear deck lid doesn’t match, and appears to have been primered. The interior is also gutted, but the seller says the seats have been re-done and are waiting to go back in.
The seller says this one “needs engine service to run,” whatever that means. Engine swaps of various types (up to and including small-block Chevys) are a time-honored 914 tradition, and a basic, beat-up 1.7 liter car that already doesn’t run would seem to be the ideal candidate. Or have 914 values increased to the point that it’s worth restoring in stock form? Whichever way the future owner decides, that awful J.C. Whitney luggage rack has got to go.
1975 Porsche 914 2.0 – $8,500
Engine/drivetrain: 2.0 liter overhead valve flat 4, five-speed manual, RWD
Location: Reno, NV
Odometer reading: 75,000 miles
Runs/drives? Ran when parked 7 years ago
Fast-forward a couple of years, and this is what became of the 914 towards the end of its run, with some definite improvemens in the form of a much livelier two-liter engine and improved gearbox, and some definite signs of the times, namely those enormous black rubber bumpers. Apparently these had a side effect on the 914 of improving high-speed stability due to the weight. Yeah, whatever. I’ll take the earlier cars’ sleek chrome bumpers, thanks. And it’s not like the big bumpers did it any good anyway: Of all three of these cars, this one is the one with a broken taillight.
This car also allegedly has the best interior out of the three, though the door cards still appear to be missing. An un-cracked vinyl dash top is a rare thing on a car this age, so that’s something. This car also got to where it is under its own power, though that was seven years ago. Be prepared to tow it home and carefully bring it back to life, just like the other two. At least they’ve all been parked indoors all this time.
The seller says they’ll knock a couple thousand off the total if you buy all three of these Porsches, and sell the whole lot for $18,500. But I’d bet that if you showed up with a smaller wad of cash than that, you’d be able to make a deal. But then what? Back-date the appearance of the 2.0 using the green car as a parts donor? Turn the green one into a race car and restore the other two? Mix and match body panels and creat three “Harlequin” 914s?
Hey, you do you. But that’s what you’ve got to choose from today: a nearly-ready-to-go Lotus, or three derelict Porsches in varying degrees of niceness. Or you can show up with your very own car hauler and take home all three Porsches. The choice is yours.
(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)
Six years for tires (at least that’s what I’ve always heard)
MY GOSH, YES: THREE 914s AT THE SAME TIME! Anyone not voting for the package deal is wrong. Especially with a 2.0L in there! That’s the holy grail of stock Type 4s, man!!!
DO IT DO IT DO IT HOON CAR PACKAGE DEAL YES
(Is this where I yell that the poll is rigged for splitting the parsh vote? VOTE PARSH OR YOU’RE WRONG.)
Loved my 76 2.0. Holy grail was a 914-6. Probably a unicorn to.
Yes. YES. Now *that* is a true holy grail.
Love Lotus and I found the Europa surprisingly roomy. Porsches do nothing for me and this being a hideous half-VW makes it even easier. They’re both death traps, so that’s a wash.
I’ve always loved the Europa for its quirky, weird looks. I’ve always hated the 914 for its quirky, weird looks. What can I say, I’m quirky. And weird.
Had a Europa and loved it. Loved the close quarters and the fantastic handling. Loved the idea of adding lightness which is at the expense of reliability. Today though I would go for the 914, only one please. There is not a car made today that is as much fun as the X/19, TR3, or 914. The Europa is really fun at speed while those others were fun at any speed. None of them needed to be fast to be fun and a Miata is not visceral enough.
I used to think the 914 was as ugly as a Triumph TR7, but they have started to grow on me a bit, so I’ll take all of them.
Was admiring a nice one last night when I was out with the 356:
https://www.instagram.com/p/CuU27zroCFb/
This is a really tough choice as I have owned both. I had an S2 and it was a really fun car until it was stolen and totaled. If you’ve never been in one, the easiest way to exit the car is to sort of fall out of the car onto your hands and drag the rest of your body out. Trust me on this; there is no graceful way out. 🙂
I also owned a 914, well, two crashed ones that I welded together into one, um, not good-looking car. It was not pretty, but I built a 2L motor with Weber downdraft carbs, and it was quick, too quick. Over 100mph the steering would get really light, so maybe those big bumpers would help.
Anyway, I picked the Lotus, even though 40 years on from my first one, I’d figure a way to get my larger self in, and more importantly, out of the Europa.
I know this probably makes me a bad human, but I’ve never liked Lotuses. Like, ever. Also I think that the Europa is fucking hideous.
Ok, now I have that off my chest. I feel better.
Almost as strong as my irrational dislike for Lotuses is my irrational love for Porsches. Give me the P Cars. All of them. If I had garage space, I’d be on a flight to Reno this afternoon.
Lotus. That shag carpet and exposed shifter shaft are damn near pornographic.
Lotus, for sure. It’s one of my dream cars.
With modern battery tech, electric conversion is actually viable as well given how slippery this car is. This could easily be a sub-150 Wh/mile car on the highway, stock-bodied. A 30 kWh pack of Model 3 cells and a Tesla Model 3 drive system swapped in with a transmission delete might have it weighing at stock. And damn would it be a hoot to drive in that configuration. It would be a hoot to drive unmolested, really.
I would go buy that Lotus right now if it wasn’t on the other side of the country. . .
Lotus all day. Seems like an honest seller, I fit, looks cooler, might be less work to sort. When you’re done; it’s a Lotus, not some hybrid sorta Porsche. Also, it’s a 69 dude!
When I see a deck lid that doesn’t match, my mind automatically goes to past engine fire. I might be wrong, but…
Between the ugliest Lotus and the ugliest Porsche, the Lotus wins.
3 Porsches, please, although it’s tough not to choose a Lotus in relatively good condition.
The yellow Porsche gets restored to original condition. This is first priority.
The green one gets an engine swap to something outrageous. Likely an LS or something turbocharged. The original engine becomes a spare for the yellow one. This comes second.
The brown one gets converted to electric. It also gets painted orange, which looks like the original color from the photo of the inside of the door panel. Its 2.0 gets rebuilt on the bench for eventual transplant into the yellow car. Conversion is the side project for when I feel like working on something more creative.
Too bad I don’t have nearly enough garage space for these grand plans. I love small sports cars.