Why is everything David seems to own and deem worthy of moving made of metal and heavy and cold and pinchy? Why are we having to load all this cold, pinchy, heavy crap into boxes or crannies of cars when he had literal months to pack some of this shit away, before we had to do it all in the dark and snow? Why is he like this? This jackass better fucking be happy my love is powerful and pure and boundless because this suuuuuuuuccccckkkkkssss.
See that picture up there? That’s David’s garage. See how much is packed up? The number you’re looking for is called, technically, “fuck all.” As in none. This man that I’m in business with, that I’ve tied to my literal financial future, is a monster. Plus, I learned that he eats in the shower. Who does that? Spaghetti! He fucking eats fucking spaghetti in the shower! Who is this animal?
On the plus side, major shout out to this little electric winch that says it can pull 2,000 pounds but more than doubled that rating when it slowly, slowly inched 4,300 plus pounds of inert Golden Eagle up onto the tow dolly.
Otto is being a great sport about all of this and, while not technically helping, is keeping things fun. Plus, he got to visit the backrooms:
We’re now getting back on the road, hoping to hit Joplin, Missouri tonight! Who’s in the area and wants to hear me kvetch?
UPDATE: Readers, go meet the boys!
ATTENTION ST. LOUIS: @davidntracy and @JasonTorchinsky will be at Salt + Smoke on Delmar Blvd tonight at 7 p.m.! Come join us if you're around, there will be:
-Cars
-Talking about cars
-Talking about rust
-BBQA fun time will be had by all, guaranteed!
— The Autopian (@the_autopian) December 27, 2022
Spaghetti in the shower: I’ve never had particularly high confidence in Chrysler engineering. Knowing DT worked there isn’t helping. /s
As I offered earlier, I have beds, garage, tools, German cooking, all in Independence, Kansas which is not that far from Joplin or your obvious route through Tulsa and points west. Contact me for details.
Re: spaghetti in the shower – I find it kinda weird that so many people take issue with such a harmless thing. Weird AF, sure, but c’mon, it’s not like it’s actively causing harm to anyone – even David. It’s one of those things that’s a firm “you do you” for me. Ice cream in the shitter? Live and let live. Mashed potatoes while brushing your teeth? Gross, but more power to you.
Becoming more organised is a much more important thing and I for one choose to root for David being able to use his move to LA to work on that. Clean slate, my friend. Make the most of it.
Jason, you are a literal saint. I’d have checked out the instant I saw that garage.
I’m only a little bit sad you’re taking the southern route instead of rolling through the Colorado Rockies, since that means I won’t get to wave as you go by, but that was definitely the right choice.
Godspeed and safe travels! Looking forward to more updates.
I bet he shaves in the kitchen sink. How did you get suckered into helping him move?
I bet he shaves in the kitchen sink.
I bet he shaves int he kitchen sink.
David is BOTH inspiring (see: Project Cactus), and a cautionary tale (see: There but for the grace of God go I)!
I’m surprised the entire neighborhood didn’t come out and rally to help move all that sh1…useful parts.
California will probably appreciate the water conservation efforts of eating in the shower, but don’t see that helping get a date.
Also when is Jason moving out to Cali? Probably have Chang-Li’s galore out there.
The only thing worse tan moving is helping someone else move.
Shocked. I am shocked…
It was a mystery?
( ◑ω◑☞)☞
Why did you subject impressionable youth to such madness? Or agree to help anyone move?
Kyle Kinane has a funny bit on drinking in the shower, call it a spa day, but eating spaghetti like some craven lunatic is beyond the pale.
“Plus, I learned that he eats in the shower.”
Could be worse, cf. the titular character of the (fictional, to be sure) TV show Doogie Howser, M.D. making the horrifying discovery that his new roommate eats hoagies while using the toilet. At least the shower is more sanitary.
“Helping other friends move” is one of the primary reasons I got rid of my last pickup.
The trick is just to make sure it doesn’t run so they can’t ask to use it!
DT ghost writing over here.
You don’t even need to keep it from running. Just make it off-putting enough to use.
“So, don’t worry about the ABS light if it comes on and stays on, that’s probably just some rust on the ground wire. But if it starts blinking, you need to come to a slow stop right away. And the gas gauge doesn’t work, so you should gas up before each trip to be sure. If it doesn’t want to start–”
“You know what, I think I’ll hire movers.”
Ah, I like that solution even better! Keeping the vehicles foibles as theft/friend deterrent? Genius.
Amen. I once had a friend tell me “you love this. Thats why you have a truck”. Same friend never once offered to pay for gas
I had one in college, was very popular twice a year.
I can’t say I’m shocked that someone who buys the vehicles he buys isn’t organized for a cross-country move. Pre-planning is probably not his strongest quality. But he luckily has helpful friends like you to pick up that slack!
I am, however, a little surprised you guys didn’t schedule actual meet and greets along the route!
I don’t know. He planned for the Australia ute trip. Packed a bunch of tools and researched which parts were expensive over there and packed them.
This was more of a willful gesture.
Also:
Always pack the garage first and the kitchen second. Don’t touch anything else until those are done.
Or a send-off party (that could have included people putting stuff in boxes…).
So David is basically Kramer?
Pedant point (with apologies): A winch rated at 2,000 pounds can move a 4,300-lbs vehicle on a smooth, hard surface up a light grade without breaking a sweat because the force required to move the vehicle is less than its mass. David, being an ME, can probably explain this more precisely than I can. Where winch requirement calculations start to get tricky is when the vehicle is in mud, or the wheels are behind rocks, roots or branches. That’s why it’s common for off-roaders to use 10,000-lbs winches on 4,000-lbs vehicles because the force required to unstick said vehicle may exceed the mass of the vehicle.
So, the winch actually came with a load vs incline plot!!
Shower pasta?? That’s a step too far. I’ve had ice cream (doused in rum and maraschino cherries, I call it the Monday Sundae) in a bubble bath, sure. But spaghetti in a shower is grounds for involuntary institutionalization…
Saw y’all packing up, sad that I won’t be able to see what crazy collection is on the lawn any particular day on my way home from work anymore.
I hope that they have all your major roads cleared. Stay safe.
He who fails to pack his shit, will discover said shit has been randomly thrown in boxes where shit cannot ever be found again, and eventually, the randomly boxed shit ends up in the dumpster.
Two moves equals one fire. Unless you don’t pack. Then you might as well have just set it all on fire.
“Plus, I learned that he eats in the shower. Who does that? Spaghetti! He fucking eats fucking spaghetti in the shower!”
I didn’t think any DT revelation would be surprising after all the years of reading his stories and anecdotes about him but color me surprised. Good luck on your journey fellas!
https://media.tenor.com/8d419rqB5qsAAAAC/airplane-goodluck.gif
Ah yes. The look on your face as the Golden Eagle is being dragged onto the U-Haul trailer is the look of someone helping someone else move. I’ve worn it, and I’ve seen it too many times. Godspeed.
I’m in Oklahoma City, and I’ll wave as you pass by, unless you need to stop and wrench. I have a very long driveway and I’m pretty sure I can clean it done wrenching space in the garage.
I’m headed through OKC today on my way to Clinton. If they roll through here I’ll try find time to say hi too!