Home » Moving Is Terrible And Moving David Is Worse: Day One On The Road (UPDATE: St: Louis Reader Meetup!)!)

Moving Is Terrible And Moving David Is Worse: Day One On The Road (UPDATE: St: Louis Reader Meetup!)!)


Why is everything David seems to own and deem worthy of moving made of metal and heavy and cold and pinchy? Why are we having to load all this cold, pinchy, heavy crap into boxes or crannies of cars when he had literal months to pack some of this shit away, before we had to do it all in the dark and snow? Why is he like this? This jackass better fucking be happy my love is powerful and pure and boundless because this suuuuuuuuccccckkkkkssss. 

Day1 Garage

See that picture up there? That’s David’s garage. See how much is packed up? The number you’re looking for is called, technically, “fuck all.” As in none. This man that I’m in business with, that I’ve tied to my literal financial future, is a monster. Plus, I learned that he eats in the shower. Who does that? Spaghetti! He fucking eats fucking spaghetti in the shower! Who is this animal?


On the plus side, major shout out to this little electric winch that says it can pull 2,000 pounds but more than doubled that rating when it slowly, slowly inched 4,300 plus pounds of inert Golden Eagle up onto the tow dolly.


Otto is being a great sport about all of this and, while not technically helping, is keeping things fun. Plus, he got to visit the backrooms:

Day1 Ottoroom

We’re now getting back on the road, hoping to hit Joplin, Missouri tonight! Who’s in the area and wants to hear me kvetch?

UPDATE: Readers, go meet the boys!

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83 Responses

  1. Didn’t Kramer make a meal in the shower on Seinfeld, then feed it to unsuspecting guests? Torch, did you guys have pasta for dinner while visiting? Did it have a hint of PB Blaster to it?

    1. This is an absolute must. Get a headlamp and some knee pads and GO!

      Otto, put your foot down! Show those jokers who’s in charge and get yourself to the City Museum!

      1. Knee and elbow pads +1. Be the beast. Warning: Adults do not fit in the under-floor tunnels. Can be skinny as a twig, but the geometry doesn’t work unless you’re an extra on Willow.

  2. I can’t tell from the photos but I’m imagining the Golden Eagle was loaded tot he roof with loose clothes, kitchenware, spare parts, and random tools before being loaded onto the trailer.

  3. I saw the pic of Torch with his hand on the winch lever, and for a brief terrifying moment thought he was actually using a manual come-along to load that beast on to the trailer. :-O Glad to hear it was a capable electric winch instead.

    Safe travels, guys!

      1. GAAAAAHHH!! *dies*

        After a closer look at the pic, it appears you might have used the winch for the bulk of the work and then switched over to the come-along for the final positioning – yes?

        Either way, the joy of the manual approach is written all over your face. If I were David, I would make that your contact pic. 😀

        Have fun at the meetup tonight!

  4. That is the garage of a man who looks like he’s about to leave half his crap there. I don’t think this is the case though, because of the well-documented good relationship he has with his landlord.

    1. I’d assume that relationship would extend to David leaving enough cash for his landlord to call 1-800-Got-Junk to deal with the leftovers, and also the extensive refinishing that’s going to be required to remedy the grease and oil that’s likely seeped into every surface of that house.

  5. “lus, I learned that he eats in the shower. Who does that? Spaghetti! He fucking eats fucking spaghetti in the shower! Who is this animal?”

    Well at least he doesn’t shit where he eats. Or at least, I hope that’s the case…

  6. You never realize how much crap you have until it’s time to move. My garage looks better than that, thanks to some ruthless moving and clearing and storing the two least used bicycles in the living room. I still can’t fit a car in there but have some walking around space and two workbenches.
    I don’t envy you being in Joplin, I high tailed out of there ages ago, but there was a good barbecue place on the main drag in 1994

  7. This will go one of two ways – David will move out to the California desert with his dog by himself and surround his “house” with “project cars” . He will be the guy that’s singularly focused on rusty Chrysler products and become something of an Oracle for like minded Dudes (they will all be guys). Or he will meet a nice, sane, girl/guy, and they will bring some domestic balance to his life while nudging him away from the empire of rust. I’m kinda hoping for the former – it’s way more entertaining.

      1. I fear that for David, finding a life partner may never actually happen. Seeing photos of his garage, house, cars, and learning that he eats spaghetti in the shower shows that he has lived too long as an adult with habits that can only be described as antisocial. It has metastasized by now and cannot be undone, and as nice as David seems to be, you’d have to be more than a little crazy to live in that type of environment.

  8. I just noticed the meetup in my city about 45 minutes before it was set to occur while browsing this site. My microcar is currently out of commission because it is being upgraded for triple-digit top speeds and I have it disassembled in my basement down to the bare trike frame that I built it off of:


    My electric Triumph GT6 is currently my only legally-defined “car”, but it is not yet road legal, so that was not my vehicle of choice. Pics of that here:


    Instead, I took the unmotorized Milan SL velomobile that I bought last year, which I’m using as a template for the next body design for my pedal-electric microcar:


    Here’s some photos of The Minion, a project I helped a friend with, whose design is based on my microcar:


    And here are old pics of the microcar before disassembly:


    And since David is gradually warming up to all things “Strong and Bitey”, here’s little Nippy, a friendly, cuddly, tail-wagging venomous scale-puppy I used to keep:


    Meeting David and Jason as well as fellow Autopian Will was a treat. We talked about a wide variety of automotive topics. We also discussed the possibility of a less-expensive long range EV using a smaller battery pack. We also took a look at Will’s Jeep XJ, with a surprisingly clean underside. I took photos of the group for them(I choose not to be in photos given the type of society we currently live in). It was cool to meet them in meat space and I look forward to contributing content to this site in the future.

    Hope you all make a safe trip to LA. Enjoy the weather there, David.

    I’m glad they invited me to join. I hope Jason can get the Chang Li running again.

  9. DT is clearly a savant syndrome-type personality.
    A brilliant, focused to the point of obsessive automotive mechanical genius with a personal life that is a completely out of control shambles.
    You tolerate this because you could not find a more kind, generous human being.
    For the reader, endless entertainment observing the life of this manchild.
    I do laugh inside when I think of him actually being the lead actor in running a new business start up.
    Good luck with that!

  10. Statement: David’s garage looks worse than mine, so I now feel better about this.

    A bit more honest statement: David’s garage looks slightly worse than mine, so I now feel slightly better about this.

    An even more honest statement: David’s garage looks slightly worse than mine, so I now feel far better about this than I should.

    Complete honesty: David’s garage, although in slightly greater disarray than mine, nonetheless looks significantly emptier and therefore probably more usable with less preparatory effort, but I shall now arbitrarily define its condition as “worse” as a sop to my feelings. Also I want an engine hoist.

    1. David can at least walk in his garage. Mine is so full of shitboxes and parts for ones I don’t even own anymore that I can barely move around in it. My move is 2 years out though.

    2. Ah, but remember to balance this with the amount of time you’ve been preparing to move halfway across the country.

      For most people, that would involve their garage being cleared and becoming home to all the “ready to load” stuff. David clearly had premonitions that his might flood, and didn’t go that route.

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