I never really spent a whole lot of time thinking about the Lexus RX 350, but ever since dating and subsequently marrying and subsequently procreating with the owner of one, I’ve become a fan. You see, it’s hard to find a car this good to be boring; the engineer in me feels nothing but a deep respect for a machine that fulfills its intended purpose perfectly. It’s an A+ crossover SUV and a good family car; in fact, my biggest issue with the RX is just how comfortable it is.
I’m learning a lot about babies since my own — Delmar (not his real name) — was born in April, and among the many odd Quirks and Features I’ve discovered is: A crying baby will often calm down during a car ride.
This is a pretty well established in the parenting community: Driving kids around in a car legitimately helps them fall sleep. Check out this Reddit thread titled “So you drive your child around in the car seat to get them to sleep.” and this HuffPost article titled “Yes, Sometimes I Drive Around Town to Get My Kids to Sleep” and this Australian news article titled “New parents racking up 1000’s of km’s driving their kids to sleep.” Here’s a quote from that last one, news.com.au’s Kidspot, discussing the prevalence of this cars-as-baby-sleeping-pill phenomenon:
Forget magic self-rocking bassinets, fancy swaddles and white noise machines, it seems parents today are reverting to old school methods to get their kids to sleep. A recent survey of new parents revealed that a staggering 95 percent of them admit driving their kids around endlessly in order to help them settle. In fact, when the stats were all tallied up, it found they were driving around 1500 kilometers a year- that’s the equivalent of Sydney to Adelaide!
There’s biology behind this, and the publication Motherly gets into how a baby’s brain is soothed by the various characteristics of a car ride, writing:
Your baby’s response to rocking is a natural reaction of their sensorimotor systems. Researchers have found that gentle and constant rocking regulates your baby’s central, motor and cardiac systems in a coordinated way that calms them down.
Your baby’s cerebellum is the part of their brain that is most primitive—always on guard and keeping track of everything going on in their environment. It’s directly linked in a feedback loop with the vagus nerve, a part of the parasympathetic nervous system that connects the brainstem to the body and allows it to monitor and receive information. The parasympathetic nervous system oversees a vast array of crucial bodily functions, including the fight-or-flight response and heart rate. Rocking puts your baby’s cerebellum at ease and creates a parasympathetic response of relaxation, lower heart rate and increased sense of well-being.
[…]
Your car’s engine is a kind of white noise that can mimic the familiar sounds your baby heard in your womb and can mask loud sounds that may stimulate your baby’s brain. White noise influences sleep by encouraging your baby’s brain to adopt and maintain the slower, rhythmic brain waves associated with sleep.
[…]
The inside of a car can be insulated, warm and dark, just like your womb. And the interior doesn’t change, so there is nothing new to see, hear, feel or do. Plus, your baby knows you are nearby and feels safe.
[…]
Not only does the car seat harness hold your baby’s body in the proper position in case of an accident, the feeling of security it provides and the cozy warmth of your car’s interior can utterly transport your baby back to the womb.
It turns out, a moving car is rather womb-like, with snug-fitting car seats, usually rather dull and dark visuals, white noise, and a float-y ride from the suspension hitting bumps. This soothes a baby.
The problem with my wife’s otherwise flawless baby-car (OK maybe the 24 MPG fuel economy could be better, but it’s roomy, reliable, safe, and the leather is spill-resistant) — her 2017 Lexus RX350? The ride is just too good. Here’s what Car and Driver had to say about her generation of Lexus RX:
Ride quality, on the other hand, is creamy, amplified by relaxed-fit seats that are all-day comfortable. The standard 18-inch wheels contribute to the supple ride quality (higher-spec versions roll on 20s). And the smooth going is further enhanced by an exceptionally quiet interior. The redesign gave considerable attention to noise reduction, an intriguing priority since the interior of the previous generation was far from raucous. Be that as it may, interior noise levels of the new one are lower still—a traditional Lexus virtue made more virtuous.
Creamy, folks; creamy! This is not good!
I know, that sounds ridiculous, but here in my part of California, the roads aren’t that bad, and that, combined with a really well-tuned and rather soft suspension, means those in the cabin often feel nothing when going over expansion joints, cracks in the road, or speed bumps.
I figured the car’s white noise and the floaty-ness would be enough to get Delmar to fall asleep, but no — most of the time we go for a car ride, Delmar cries:
Since I’d previously noticed that he tends to fall asleep in my arms when I bounce him up and down a bit (fairly standard baby behavior), I decided to try taking speed bumps a bit too fast and also steering the RX 350 into broken parts of the road. The result? He stops crying!
After a while, though, I found myself swerving around my lane trying to make sure my tires were hitting every manhole cover, every big crack, ever speed hump-peak, and it probably looked absurd from the outside. The reality is that, for getting Delmar to fall asleep, my BMW i3S is a much, much better car because its ride is terrible.
Some of that owes itself to the i3’s wheelbase, which is 8.6 inches shorter than that of the Lexus. Basic physics/geometry tells us that a bump of a given height will yield a higher change in the i3’s pitch due to that short wheelbase, and that means a bumpier ride. That the i3’s spring rate is clearly stiffer — in part because it’s the “Sport” version of my car, and in part because i3s generally ride like crap — just makes my little Bavarian EV that much more of a baby sleeping-pill in comparison to the otherwise-excellent RX 350.
I never thought I’d ever consider a car’s smooth, well-tuned suspension would be a bad thing, But indeed; my child sits in the back seat with his blown head gasket, billowing steam as I frantically hack at the wheel trying to hit some crack or bump or anything that will upset the RX’s well-tuned chassis. Eventually I just pull the car off the road, take out his baby carrier, and swing it back and forth a bit until he chills out. That buys me a bit of time. But only just a bit.
Top image: depositphotos.com
On a more serious note, look into car seat oxygen deprivation/saturation issues. The short version is that babies, particular very young ones, can actually run into problems with car seats restricting their breathing. The article below is just the first one I found, they are more recent studies.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC1693579/
That baby needs a Jeep ride, stat!
I grew up on a lake in MN. My parents said boat rides in our old Lund (small aluminum fishing boat) were the only thing to get me to sleep sometimes.
My friend had a kid that refused to ride in anything but their Volvo S60 Polestar. The car was just sporty enough as far as ride and he apparently also liked being able to stare up through the rear window. Now that he’s 5 the kid still refuses to ride in anything but the Polestar, but now it’s because every other car is slow and boring.
That kid is going places.
Woodward avenue from Maple to Long Lake and back was considered “1 baby Lunesta”. Sometimes you’d need a double…
Yeah, our first kid would go to sleep riding in the back of my wife’s 1990 Escort Pony. Then she had to be carefully transferred into the house, out of her car seat and into the crib, which she learned to escape from pretty early.
I just stuck to doing my best keeping calm while walking/bouncing/trying for a burp. After all, at some point that kid will be an adult and will really disappoint the woman of his dreams if he falls asleep in the back seat of the car.
It worked well for my twins. They loved my ’89 Mustang 5.0. Maybe that’s why they were a bit sad when I finally sold it.
My daughter was the same way. It was always difficult to calm her down in my wife’s CX-5. But she would calm down as soon as we hit a bump in my Silverado.
Now that we have to put babies down on their backs with no blankets, THEY NEVER SLEEP.
I get the SIDS thing, so I absolutely followed the rules. But from the moment each of my kids learned to roll over, they slept on their faces with their butts up in the air from then on. And they slept all night that way.
Sleep deprivation is a hell of a thing. Hang in there. It’s not forever.
And don’t fall for the trap of letting your kid sleep in your bed. It will end in divorce.
Did not for me, FWIW.
“…the moment each of my kids learned to roll over, they slept on their faces with their butts up in the air from then on.”
I’m almost 60 and I still fall asleep that way.
None of my kids liked the car, but all of them liked being in the sling on my chest while I went for a walk.
Same. I was always jealous of friends whose kids would sleep in the car, because all of mine would just scream and cry – it made road trips torture. But as soon as we strapped the kids to us it was lights out for them.
Neither of my kids slept in ANY form of transport (and still don’t at 12 and 14).
The one exception would be after 5+ hours of crying and screaming, they’d fall asleep once we were 5 minutes from the destination. And yes, many times we’d lock them in the car (in nice weather, with us nearby) and keep a cell phone on speaker, or a baby monitor, with them so we could give them — and us — a little peace.
All the baby advice in the world is only as good as whatever works for you.
Oh man, you and I must have the same kids, because that was always our experience too. Scream until two miles from the destination and then fall asleep. Now that my kids are older they are better about sleeping in the car, or they would be if they weren’t so busy always fighting about who gets to pick the music or debating about rules of road trip games like I Spy. Some days I miss the crying infants just because it is easier to excuse than adolescent infighting.
Same here. our kids never slept in cars or planes. we once planned a road trip through the night just so they would sleep. nope. up the entire time. they are in their 20s now and still do not sleep on red eye flights.
I had a baby sling (custom made by my MIL) and a trench coat for all that the midwest weather had to throw at us! Both children would fall asleep soon-enough.
I also really encourage a good swaddle and bouncing on a yoga ball.
There has to be a gravel road somewhere close – a quick jaunt into the mountains would do you both some good! Or does E(NHRN) not allow such shenanigans in the grownup car?
There are no gravel roads in LA county.
Just some gravel pullouts on Mulholland, up in Malibu and along Topanga Canyon.
If you think that’s bad, the equivalent RX 450h–of which my best friend owns a 2016 example–is really very quiet. It’s difficult not to fall asleep whilst driving it, let alone riding in it. I nicknamed it Vicodin on Wheels. Delmar (not his real name) would hate it.
Speaking of cars with exceptional NVH, many of them, though not the RX, rely on laminated side glass for both rows, providing additional sound lamination. I’ve begun paying a lot of attention to that. I think that any car above $100K should absolutely have laminated side glass for all side windows. So imagine my surprise when my $160,000 Escalade IQ loaner only had laminated glass in the front, and not even the little triangular fixed window near the A-pillar, just the main moving glass. It’s the same for my Lyriq, but that car costs less than half what an Escalade IQ does.
It sounds like the i3 Sport is the perfect tool for the job, much lower cost-per-mile on top of being a more effective baby-soother. And unlike the oldies absolutely zero risk of carbon monoxide poisoning since you’re not even firing up the REx unless he’s really freakin’ cranky.
We used a bouncy chair that played comfort music.
Yeah, the car worked, but it also was a waist of time and money.
Yes I agree. Babies command almost all your attention. I always tried not to let the baby use up the time needed to relax and regroup. I never thought putting the baby in additional danger was worth it. They are also expensive enough, no sense adding to the bottom line and their chances to have breathable air in the future!
Another parent hack that’s worked wonders on my child: play “The Happy Song” by Imogen Heap. Learned it from another parent that wasn’t getting sleep from her child in a Land Rover – maybe a similar issue with excellent NVH and ride quality.
So here’s what I’m thinking…
Please let us know how it goes!
Just keep him out of the rest of your fleet. Yes, your old cars are likely to put Delmar (not his real name) to sleep, but carbon monoxide is not the way to go.
Strap him into his carseat and put him on top of the washing machine (I’m 100% serious).
Unless it’s seriously out of balance, it’s the same soothing movement as a car ride, without actually burning gas.
We did this with the dryer for my oldest. It would put her out in just a couple minutes.
Just be sure to put ON, not IN. I got so much flak for that typo on social media 16 years ago…
David complaining about fuel economy; he has truly ascended to parenthood.
Next, we’ll hear him utter some typical Dad-speak like “it’s not heavy, just awkward.”
Didn’t he already say that about the mattress during the crosstown move?
If he did, he was already primed for fatherhood!
Maybe some run-flat tires would “help.”
David, you’ve already got the solution–actually several. Its time to get one of those old Jeeps running and put a baby seat in the back. A solid front axle is perfect for rocking a crying baby to sleep
Get yourself some square tires, that’ll solve the problem.
” I frantically hack at the wheel trying to hit some crack or bump or anything that will upset the RX’s well-tuned chassis.”
Police officer: Sir, have you been drinking?
DT: I’m a new parent, and he won’t stop crying unless I hit all the bumps! The ride!! It’s too creamy! TOO CREAMY!!
PO: Dispatch, we have a new parent in full sleep deprivation meltdown. Send out the crisis response team. We’ve got a Code Baby. Repeat, Code Baby.
COTD
The best solution is to wait this out. He’ll grow out of it eventually. The correct for The Autopian solution is to replace the stock wheels on the Lexus with 21” wheels and ultra-low profile tires.
He’s definitely your child, DT. He’s crying because deep down in his DNA, he really wants a ride in a Jeep XJ that you are desperately trying to justify getting.
Why is there a stock baby at the top? Shouldnt it have a lift, maybe a locker and 32s? Or some rust and interestingly questionable bodywork?
You could also try taking delmar in the J10- it will certainly be the ride that lulls him to sleep, not the carbon dioxide seeping into the cab. (Please dont do this)
Y’all are on fire with the comments today!
I was gonna say, use the J10 and move back to Michigan. “Creamy” is not a word to describe that.
Perhaps David’s next son will be referred to as “Bondo” on this site.