I never really spent a whole lot of time thinking about the Lexus RX 350, but ever since dating and subsequently marrying and subsequently procreating with the owner of one, I’ve become a fan. You see, it’s hard to find a car this good to be boring; the engineer in me feels nothing but a deep respect for a machine that fulfills its intended purpose perfectly. It’s an A+ crossover SUV and a good family car; in fact, my biggest issue with the RX is just how comfortable it is.
I’m learning a lot about babies since my own — Delmar (not his real name) — was born in April, and among the many odd Quirks and Features I’ve discovered is: A crying baby will often calm down during a car ride.
This is a pretty well established in the parenting community: Driving kids around in a car legitimately helps them fall sleep. Check out this Reddit thread titled “So you drive your child around in the car seat to get them to sleep.” and this HuffPost article titled “Yes, Sometimes I Drive Around Town to Get My Kids to Sleep” and this Australian news article titled “New parents racking up 1000’s of km’s driving their kids to sleep.” Here’s a quote from that last one, news.com.au’s Kidspot, discussing the prevalence of this cars-as-baby-sleeping-pill phenomenon:
Forget magic self-rocking bassinets, fancy swaddles and white noise machines, it seems parents today are reverting to old school methods to get their kids to sleep. A recent survey of new parents revealed that a staggering 95 percent of them admit driving their kids around endlessly in order to help them settle. In fact, when the stats were all tallied up, it found they were driving around 1500 kilometers a year- that’s the equivalent of Sydney to Adelaide!
There’s biology behind this, and the publication Motherly gets into how a baby’s brain is soothed by the various characteristics of a car ride, writing:
Your baby’s response to rocking is a natural reaction of their sensorimotor systems. Researchers have found that gentle and constant rocking regulates your baby’s central, motor and cardiac systems in a coordinated way that calms them down.
Your baby’s cerebellum is the part of their brain that is most primitive—always on guard and keeping track of everything going on in their environment. It’s directly linked in a feedback loop with the vagus nerve, a part of the parasympathetic nervous system that connects the brainstem to the body and allows it to monitor and receive information. The parasympathetic nervous system oversees a vast array of crucial bodily functions, including the fight-or-flight response and heart rate. Rocking puts your baby’s cerebellum at ease and creates a parasympathetic response of relaxation, lower heart rate and increased sense of well-being.
[…]
Your car’s engine is a kind of white noise that can mimic the familiar sounds your baby heard in your womb and can mask loud sounds that may stimulate your baby’s brain. White noise influences sleep by encouraging your baby’s brain to adopt and maintain the slower, rhythmic brain waves associated with sleep.
[…]
The inside of a car can be insulated, warm and dark, just like your womb. And the interior doesn’t change, so there is nothing new to see, hear, feel or do. Plus, your baby knows you are nearby and feels safe.
[…]
Not only does the car seat harness hold your baby’s body in the proper position in case of an accident, the feeling of security it provides and the cozy warmth of your car’s interior can utterly transport your baby back to the womb.
It turns out, a moving car is rather womb-like, with snug-fitting car seats, usually rather dull and dark visuals, white noise, and a float-y ride from the suspension hitting bumps. This soothes a baby.
The problem with my wife’s otherwise flawless baby-car (OK maybe the 24 MPG fuel economy could be better, but it’s roomy, reliable, safe, and the leather is spill-resistant) — her 2017 Lexus RX350? The ride is just too good. Here’s what Car and Driver had to say about her generation of Lexus RX:
Ride quality, on the other hand, is creamy, amplified by relaxed-fit seats that are all-day comfortable. The standard 18-inch wheels contribute to the supple ride quality (higher-spec versions roll on 20s). And the smooth going is further enhanced by an exceptionally quiet interior. The redesign gave considerable attention to noise reduction, an intriguing priority since the interior of the previous generation was far from raucous. Be that as it may, interior noise levels of the new one are lower still—a traditional Lexus virtue made more virtuous.
Creamy, folks; creamy! This is not good!
I know, that sounds ridiculous, but here in my part of California, the roads aren’t that bad, and that, combined with a really well-tuned and rather soft suspension, means those in the cabin often feel nothing when going over expansion joints, cracks in the road, or speed bumps.
I figured the car’s white noise and the floaty-ness would be enough to get Delmar to fall asleep, but no — most of the time we go for a car ride, Delmar cries:
Since I’d previously noticed that he tends to fall asleep in my arms when I bounce him up and down a bit (fairly standard baby behavior), I decided to try taking speed bumps a bit too fast and also steering the RX 350 into broken parts of the road. The result? He stops crying!
After a while, though, I found myself swerving around my lane trying to make sure my tires were hitting every manhole cover, every big crack, ever speed hump-peak, and it probably looked absurd from the outside. The reality is that, for getting Delmar to fall asleep, my BMW i3S is a much, much better car because its ride is terrible.
Some of that owes itself to the i3’s wheelbase, which is 8.6 inches shorter than that of the Lexus. Basic physics/geometry tells us that a bump of a given height will yield a higher change in the i3’s pitch due to that short wheelbase, and that means a bumpier ride. That the i3’s spring rate is clearly stiffer — in part because it’s the “Sport” version of my car, and in part because i3s generally ride like crap — just makes my little Bavarian EV that much more of a baby sleeping-pill in comparison to the otherwise-excellent RX 350.
I never thought I’d ever consider a car’s smooth, well-tuned suspension would be a bad thing, But indeed; my child sits in the back seat with his blown head gasket, billowing steam as I frantically hack at the wheel trying to hit some crack or bump or anything that will upset the RX’s well-tuned chassis. Eventually I just pull the car off the road, take out his baby carrier, and swing it back and forth a bit until he chills out. That buys me a bit of time. But only just a bit.
Top image: depositphotos.com
Try playing Black Sabbath’s Paranoid album. It puts babies right to sleep. An older guy I used to work with told me about it and it worked perfect for my kids.
I had that car and the ride was so soft that it squatted under any level of acceleration, so people were always flashing their high-beams at me—ALWAYS flashing me. I started counting how many times it would happen each night.
ALSO, the seats in that car cause you to have a weird upper back pain if you’re under age 40. I thought I was crazy then I told a friend and then he and his wife complained about the same issue, and so on. The F-Sport seats are tighter, but better for your back.
My kid never slept in the car as a baby. We tried. It didn’t work. And it was definitely not because the ride was too good. Also the roads around here are crap. Alas, she’s just not a car sleeper. Even when she’s exhausted and should fall asleep anyway, she rarely sleeps in the car.
Have you tried mud+snow tires?
That should work.
My brother-in-law claimed that my niece would only go to sleep in a Cesna 172.
Years later, my niece admitted it was all a lie, and she just liked flying.
Have you tried playing The Ramones’ first album?
Come back to MI, plenty of roads to put em to sleeps 🙂
Cmon DT let’s think out of the box. I was first thinking placing a bassinet over a Roomba. But then no to small to handle the weight. So mount the crib on an electric lawnmower that operates inside the perimeter based on wires buried in the perimeter. Why?
1. Even if the kid doesn’t go to sleep you get your yard mowed.
2. Even if the kid won’t stop crying he is drowned out by the lawn mower.
Now I expect that JT custom drawing of a Jensen Healey
I once drove entire length and breadth of Aucklands motorway system to get my son to sleep. At this time the Western Ring Route wasn’t quite finished, so it meant traffic lights at the end… that was bad! He woke up screaming in traffic, 35 minutes from home. Thankfully we were back on the motorway quickly. And he fell asleep! I did it again when he as 3 and my daughter was 3 weeks. The both slept. It was great. My wife finally had a break!
Just wondering what that cost vs a pair of ear plugs?
Yes single guys have the answers
Never too young to learn about proper worksite PPE.
Clearly you need much lower profile tires – a 265/20R27 should do the trick.
About the Dad Dude video: Does that come in adult sizes?
My Evo did not have this particular problem. Now, I did swap in the MR model Bilsteins (I’m not a monster) to calm down the ride some. My kids could sleep in that car, therefore they could sleep anywhere. So David, now is the time for something with a stiff ride, a loud exhaust, and minimal sound deadening.
Maybe it’s time to stance the Lexus
We found the baby swing that can swivel so the baby can go side-to-side and front-to-back was the best. We tried the MamaRoo, but I don’t recall liking it as much. All are much cheaper than gas, and can be resold or regifted once you are done with them. I recall modifying my swing so it could run on a wall wart to save on batteries.
Driving around with a kid only worked for me if it was Raining. Which given I was in a city that got more rain than Seattle at the time worked out well. But for you in So Cal.. good fricking luck.
Try the NASA channel. It’s in all honesty by far the best soporific I’ve ever used, even better than Benedryl. It’s faster acting and carries no risk of addiction or building a tolerance either. The only side effect is soul crushing boredom. But that’s only in adults.
No matter how bad my insomnia was just 15 minute of late night NASA numbness and I was out for the count.
My wife runs an animal rescue group out of our house. We typically have around 10 dogs in the house and we’ve hit 20 on occasion.
Anyway, within 20 minutes of you visiting my house and finding a dozen or more dogs bouncing around like they are ODing of Meth and Speed, they will be dead asleep all over the place for an hour or more.
The secret?
Dateline.
Keith Morrison’s voice will make any dog pass out within 10 minutes.
Ah. That reminds me of when my dad would put on “Washington Week in Review”.
Sooooo boring!!
Better than ’80s/90s Weather Channel?
Absolutely.
I once tuned into the NASA channel in the wee hours of the morning west coast time. There was a live stream of a blank faced woman just sitting in front of a camera clearly waiting for something to happen. Within minutes I fell asleep.
A while later, I stirred and found the TV still on, the woman still sitting in front of the camera. It was still a live feed of nothing. Yawn! I fell asleep again.
I awoke a while later to the sound of a morning radio show. They had called in to talk to the woman. As I found out she was the commander of an upcoming mission. I could almost envision the sequence of events that had unfolded:
Some exec at NASA had a brainwave for a question and answer show starring the mission commander. Nobody called in because it was the middle of the night. The producer had frantically started calling around to find someone, ANYONE to phone in and finally found the morning show. The NASA sent over a prepared list of questions and the producer of the morning show forwarded the list of questions to the disc jockeys whom valiantly did their public service. They tried very hard to make the questioning zany but it fell flat. The whole thing was really sad and boring but also kinda awkwardly funny, like an awful family photo. I felt bad for the commander whom I’m sure would rather have been doing other things. Like getting some much needed sleep.
I never saw anything like that on the weather channel.
Also consider C-SPAN and the golf channel. Aural Zzz-quil.
I know lots of people drive their babies around. We did too, occasionally! That said …
Scorching hot tip: carry your baby around as much as you can! They gonna be driving themselves before you know it, sir, they really really are. You know what’s even more biologically aligned with getting your baby to sleep (and bonding them to you) than driving them around? Carrying them while holding them against your chest in your arms! It is also one of those things that dads can 100% do once that baby is filled up with milk.
Many hundreds of hours/miles walked carrying 0-3 year olds at all hours of the day and night in all seasons.
Concerns:
Good luck!!
I second this, my kids lived in the front carrier whenever we went ou,t from the point they had neck control to the point where they insisted on walking.
This would sometimes work with my son, but was often offset by the awful Michigan roads inevitably waking him up with bumps/construction/etc.
I’ve never been more mad than finally getting him to sleep, then having him wake up due to one of the trash roads in this state.
Try this, it worked for my three. With a bit of bouncy bouncy in time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2FzZSBD5LE
My now very adult offspring cannot hear it without nodding off, indeed one tried to use it as a defence in a court case. Turned out that driving whilst sleeping is not allowed, who knew!
My kids slept as long as the car was moving.
Also, everything you describe about the Lexus RX350 is why mine is the preferred family long hauler. This past week we did a trip. Fully loaded, 700 miles round trip, quiet, comfortable, and somehow got 24mpg (I think long stretches of cruise control helped). Kids are older, but still zonked out in the back seat.
The two BMWs are better for local driving, especially if I have to run an errand late….we have hills and curves and low-ish population density, so as long I keep an eye out for deer, I can have some fun.
Move up to the hills and find a fire road to bomb down.
For the kids our 2004 Tundra Extended Cab was the magic sleep car. The back seat had enough room for a car seat and when the kids were old enough to face forward they could see between the seats and out the front of the truck. I imagined myself as the tank driver with an infant tank commander shouting orders in baby gibberish.
One of my BILs had kids that would sleep anywhere/anytime. If things got too quiet, or slow, they’re out. Even into their teenage years.
A quiet breakfast could result in them getting an oatmeal facial.
If you didn’t actively engage them in active conversation in the car, they were asleep before you made it to a main road.
Do none of your Jeeps have death wobble?
Put the RX on the F-sport wheels, some low profile tire will fix / spoil the ride.
We’ve got a TX loaner right now, those wheel look huge (as does the rest of the vehicle) try a set of those wheels.
Offroad tires and sway bar disconnects for the win!
Had our oldest kid in our 20’s. Cheap kid seat, back bench of the Bronco, rear window open most of the time, kid falls asleep. Second batch of kids arrives in our 30’s. Brittax seats with side protection, newer car, kids no fall asleep. Did it to ourselves!
The only thing is that the more weird hacks you do, the more weird hacks you’re always going to have to do. So as great as driving a kid around in a car to get them to sleep is; you don’t want to have to do that until they’re like 3.
Best bet is to bite the bullet, loud white noise machine (but not like deafening), and then at 4 months you can start really sleep training them (i.e.: letting them cry it out). It’s like 1-2 nights of hell for a lifetime of peace.
Oh, and NO NIGHTLIGHTS!
There’s white noise, brown noise, pink noise…maybe “Jeep noise” can be a spinoff Autopian TV series. Though I wonder if “8 hours of AMC straight 6 engine driving looped” might work better on David than baby.
Well I guess its not a baby blog, but … there’s lots of thoughts on that sleep training advice…
To each their own!
I remember reading in a different car forum years ago about someone who owned a big block muscle car with lumpy camshaft. The kid would fall asleep after 10 minutes idling in the driveway.
And then all the neighbors kids are awake.
Carbon Monoxide poisoning will do that to a child. (Just kidding…I think)
Is this just a thinly veiled justification so you can show this article to your wife and be like “see! We need another XJ! Ok ok… I’ll settle for a 4 door with the AW4, that’ll soothe him”
If it is, bravo sir haha.