Good morning! We’re starting the week off with a couple of big old American rides with low miles. What they lack in fuel economy and handling, they make up for in comfort and presence. And just to keep things interesting, I’ve picked two from less-common brands.
We finished up last week with two super-clean Japanese sedans. I thought the Mitsubishi Galant’s higher price might hurt it, and a few of you did comment on it, but its higher specification made it seem worth it to the majority of you. The Mazda 323 had its fans, but the lack of air conditioning hurt it.
Despite the low spec, I think the Mazda would be my choice. I am a big fan of the brand, and that 323 is the great-grandmother of the Protege that I liked so much. The three-speed auto is a bummer, but I could live with it.
For decades, nearly all full-sized American cars followed the same basic pattern: a big V8 up front, a solid axle in the rear, and a pair of bench seats in between. If you have a sedan, you have a huge trunk hanging out behind the rear axle, and if you have a wagon, you got some extra seats in the back. The sedans are long gone, and the wagons morphed into SUVs long ago. Today, we’re going to look at one sedan and one wagon, from different eras, but cut from the same cloth.
1976 Pontiac Catalina – $5,000
Engine/drivetrain: 350 cubic inch OHV V8, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Glenford, OH
Odometer reading: 22,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
The 1970s were hard on traditional American cars. Between gas shortages, new environmental regulations, and changing tastes, cars like this Pontiac Catalina were a hard sell. This was the last year before GM’s full-sized B-body shrunk by more than a foot and lost several hundred pounds. It represents the end of an era; whether that’s a good thing or not depends on what you think of these old dinosaurs.
The Catalina was Pontiac’s entry-level full-size sedan, sitting below the Bonneville in the model lineup, similar to the Impala in Chevy’s lineup. It’s powered by Pontiac’s own V8, displacing 350 cubic inches, and a Turbo-Hydramatic 400 automatic transmission. The seller says it runs great. It includes a new set of shocks that need to be installed, which is a fairly easy job on these cars, as long as the bolts aren’t too rusty.
The interior isn’t as fancy as a Bonneville, but it looks plenty comfortable. It’s in good condition, too; all I see wrong with it is a crack in the dashboard. The floor mats are a little grubby, but you could just throw those out and get new ones.
It’s in good but not great condition outside. There isn’t any rust showing, except for some surface rust on the rear bumper. The paint is shiny, but unevenly faded. It’s a great color, though.
1991 Mercury Colony Park GS – $5,500
Engine/drivetrain: 302 cubic inch OHV V8, four-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Tacoma, WA
Odometer reading: 37,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
Ford’s Panther platform underwent a serious downsizing in the late 1970s as well. This car’s basic design dates back to 1979, with a styling refresh in 1988 that rounded off some of the sharp edges. This 1991 model was one of the last Grand Marquis Colony Park wagons; the next generation of Grand Marquis didn’t include a wagon variant.
Like most Panthers of this era, it’s powered by a five-liter V8 backed by an AOD overdrive automatic. By 1991, it had multi-port fuel injection and was more or less bulletproof. It runs and drives well, and if that mileage is original, it should continue to do so for a long time. By the way, do yourself a favor and read the ad for this car; it’s hilarious. (The link, as always, is the header above.)
Inside, it’s in nice shape, with a 50:50 split bench in the front and inward-facing “way back” seats in the back. The air conditioning doesn’t work; the seller, in their own roundabout way, says it “just needs a charge.” Of course it does.
It looks good outside at first glance, but if you look closer, you start to see a few flaws. It’s missing the trim around the woodgrain on the right front fender, and the woodgrain itself is a bit faded overall. But it’s not rusty or beat-up.
This style of car gave way to front-wheel-drive, V6 engines, and even smaller footprints. Those smaller cars are nice and all, but there is something to be said for these body-on-frame dinosaurs. They may not be all that practical, or fun to drive in the traditional sense, but they are comfortable, and they’re so mechanically simple that there’s not a lot to go wrong. As long as you have a place to park one of them, they could be good weekend cruisers. Which one better matches your style?
WAGONWAGONWAGONWAGONWAGONWAGONWAGONWAGONWAGONWAGONWAGONWAGONWAGONWAGONWAGON
The Poncho is cool, but it’s not WOOD PANELED WAGONWAGONWAGON cool.
The wagon is way newer, and I always liked the wheels it has. Grandpa had a cushy-spec Crown Vic of this era. The Pontiac is an color, but I’m not Wade from Dankpods so Shrek Green isn’t my thing. Neither is carbs, smog pumps, and vacuum hoses. EFI 302 longroof please.
I see wagon I vote wagon.
I see wagon I vote wagon.
I’m gonna go with the Big Bootay Mercury, it should have room for both the Oscillation Overthruster, and all the gear for The Hong Kong Cavaliers.
I’d give it a suspension/bushing overhaul to get it riding well, some modern tires for belter grip, and eventually swap out the top end for a GT40 Intake/heads/cam/exhaust to bump the power up over 300. It’ll cap it off with Posi out back and dual exhaust tips.
Interior wise I’d do some modern audio gear, and some sort of digital automation for fuel consumption, G-load, and acceleration logging, because I’m a nerd, body would remain stock aside from better offset wheels.
I love that green Poncho! I hope it has AC, but if not, that would be on a long list of upgrades I’d have in mind for it.
I’ve always wanted a big old green sedan so that got my vote. Only time I’ve seen one of those Mercury/Ford wagons, it was my neighbor’s a couple blocks down. Was white with the wood paneling as well. It was completely toast, very rusty, with the frame obviously snapped in the middle. It still moved around for snow emergencies though. Unsure if it’s still there as that was almost five years ago now.
I like wagons and appreciate the seller’s humor, but the Catalina is in better condition and is more reasonably priced. The irony of such a vibrant color on a peak malaise car that can’t possibly back it up with performance is oddly charming to me. Kind of like the flame decals on Garth’s Pacer.
I’m all for taking up temporary residence in those “Comfort Lounge” seats – after all, the fender trim and other sundry parts for the Colony Park are in the back.
Mercury – A Man’s Car.
That Pontiac plus a good Hawaiian shirt will have you rolling like Tommy Vercetti in no time.
The Mercury, because it is more useful and (I can’t believe I’m saying this about something with fake wood) more tasteful in its aesthetic.
Easy choice:
Rust belt car vs PNW – PNW always winsSedan vs wagon – Wagon always winsCarb vs EFI – EFI always winsA 76 still requires emission testing and I doubt that Catalina would pass.
I had a 1988 version of the Colony Park in college. It looked almost identical to the one listed and was a fantastic vehicle. It was not burdened with an overabundance of speed but with decent wheels/tires on it and the towing package with sway bars was actually still fun to drive. Tossing a giant wagon through the hills of Maine should be experienced by everyone.
I appreciate a good land yacht so both strongly appeal to me. I voted for the Pontiac. I love ’70s cars for an inexplicable reason. This one is slow and presumably gets gallons per mile instead of the inverse, but who cares? It looks cool. And it is a bitchin’ shade of green. I want this car.
The Mercury is great as well. I also must award bonus points to the guy who wrote the text in the original ad – I almost voted for this car just for the quality of the ad alone. Still, though, it would take a special car to get me to turn down that green monster for $5k.
The right answer is probably both, though. My house is on a half acre lot so I have room to park both of these cars and still have enough room for maybe a Geo Metro or at least a nice Schwinn. I think I would have room, at least – I would probably have to get my measuring tape to make sure.
While I prefer wagons over sedans, at heart I’m a GM guy so I went with the Catalina today. It’s clean and it’s green.
Plus the Mercury had issues.
I’m going wagon, but if the Pontiac’s interior had been green instead of black that would’ve swung it.
I want the “Family Truckster” tribute. “Think you hate it now, wait until you drive it!”
It sure isn’t the antarctic blue sport wagon with optional CB and rally fun pack!
Panther wagon all day long. I always liked these square Ford, er… Mercury wagons. My grandfather had the almost same car, a Vickie wagon, back when I was growing up and I have a lot of fond memories of going to the beach with my cousins, riding in the ‘wayback’ with the rear window down.
You can actually do a manual swap on these (not easily, but it can be done) and there is a video somewhere of a guy that made a sleeper out of one. Its kinda fantastic and sounds killer.
Gotta go with the Shaggin’ Wagon. I could be rollin’ in my 5-point-Oh…with fuel injection so I never have to worry about an atom of fuel impurity clogging the variable venturi carb (shudders), causing it to run badly. Plus, it has a white-faced speedo, so…performance.
Mustang parts would make it quicker, if not entertaining. Throw in cop suspension parts so you’d have big family hauler that is four percent less likely to give your youngest motion sickness.
I rode in LTD/Country Squire variants a lot in my youth. This would be the pinnacle of “sort-of” luxury.
Colony Park for the seller’s sense of humor.
Pontiac for the color.
Wagons rule, indeed.
The giant sedan dinosaurs filled my childhood and my first few years of driving. The driving experience consists of floating around sawing the steering wheel back and forth to go strait and praying if you ever need to stop or turn in a hurry. No thanks.
I will take the much newer FI woodgrain wagon.
Man, I love the paint and body style on that Catalina, even in its 4 door variant. And a 350 V8 is what GM did/does best so I couldn’t say no. Tough choice as I usually pick fuel injection over carb and wagon over sedan.
The owner of the family truckster wagon deserves something for that ad, though…
My first car was a ’77 Catalina affectionately known as the Cruise Vessel, so the Green Machine gets my vote.
I’ll have to go with the fuel injected wagon today. If I never have to rebuild another carb as long as I live, that would suite me just fine. Plus fake woodgrain on the sides!
I was going to type something nearly exactly word for word. THANKS!