Has any piece of fiction so perfectly portrayed what it’s like to live in modern Texas than this SNL sketch about the fictional King Brothers Toyota in Brenham, Texas and the scourge that a new Raising Cane’s chicken joint has inflicted on their sales? I am a Texan and love the place in spite of the occasional drawbacks to living there, and this brings back a lot of memories.
Check this out:
First of all, these types of ads are not unique to Texas, though there is a certain specifically Texan-feeling charm about the fast-paced yelling that ensues, the necessity of including a big-looking dude, and the shoutout to a specific exit. While not quite as scream-y, this takes me back to the Lawrence Marshall Chevrolet ads I grew up with:
If you’re curious, that’s not Lawrence Marshall but former Oilers defensive tackle Ray Childress. And this one, which opens with the exit:
I assume this ad was at least partially inspired by Andrew Dismukes, who starts as one of the King Brothers. The actor/writer grew up outside of Houston and went to the University of Texas and therefore probably took the same US 290 route to college that I did from Montgomery County. That drive takes you through Brenham which, like most small Texas towns, has been cut in half by an ever-expanding highway (though it’s been better since they got the overpass). Texas is excellent at building highways, though I’d argue that they’d be better off if they knocked it off and focused on higher density.
Also, shout out for this line:
“My daughter Hailey is a Classics Professor at Brenham Community College and she has described our plight as ‘A funhouse mirror held up against the American Dream.’ I said ‘I don’t know about that baby girl, all I know is I’m getting effed-in-the-A by councilman Hugo Gallegos!”
[Unrelated Editor’s Note: Can we give a shoutout to all the Kia jingles?
I’m sorry, I don’t get Raising Cane’s. It’s just slightly higher quality school cafeteria food.
No love for local radio broadcasts from a tent in the dealership parking lot?
When my kids were young and acting snotty in the back seat, I’d start loudly riffing a broadcast of Moody and The Pout coming to you live from Chezik-Bell Honda, with Bob on the grill turning out brats and burgers, $4500 dealer cash-back incentives, and a bounce castle for the kids!
BIG BILL HELL’S
When did the “we will not be undersold” line become a thing in car ads? And why does it seem like car dealers are the only companies that say this?
It’s “sales-speak”. To us it’s a foreign language, but to a lifelong salesperson, it’s just how they talk. See also: mattress stores, furniture wholesalers, discount jewelry. “Same as cash” is another one it took me forever to figure out what the blazes they were talking about.
Hot tub dealers say it too.
The jingle ad reminded me of this Dallas-Fort Worth area gem from the early ‘90s. I do love that the exit and highway location were added into the lyrics for the children’s choir to sing to solidly assure a place for it in my brain for the rest of my life: https://youtu.be/y3i6_Rz0nrM
Summit Place Kia noooooo
I hear that enough each day…and I don’t even hear it. It’s just…there…in my head.
“Tires Ain’t Pretty” for the Floridians out there, my lifetime favorite so far:
If Big Bill Hell’s had a new car franchise what would it be? GM is too easy since that was the running footage in their “commercial.”
“If Big Bill Hell’s had a new car franchise what would it be? GM is too easy since that was the running footage in their “commercial.””
Mitsubishi, no question. Mitsubishi signs are the new Thin Veneer of Respectability for used car dealerships frequented by refugees from the US credit bureau wasteland.