Every few years there’s a story about how some automaker in Michigan is ticketing its employees for driving competitor vehicles or non-American vehicles in its parking lots. This is a stupid rule, and it always becomes a one-day story for these automakers when security haphazardly tickets a Tesla for not being American or whatever. The fact that Stellantis is doing it is hilarious given that, well, Stellantis is a palimpsest of like 9,000 historical brands.
The Morning Dump would like to take a moment to acknowledge that making cars is hard, and everything seems to be making it harder. Ford, for instance, would love to sell you some F-150s. First, it has to figure out how to make them, given the lack of aluminum. Will this make your next F-150 more expensive? Oh yeah. Also more expensive will be shipping stuff, as USPS adds a fuel charge because of the war we’re fighting for reasons.
You know what I thought a good deal was? Magnus Walker sold a bunch of stuff recently, including the little kit 911 he put together, and it went for a reasonably good price.
C’mon Stellantis, What Are We Doing Here?
I write about Stellantis a lot, so I don’t think I need to remind most of you that Stellantis is a bunch of historically important and mostly failed automakers that have been conglomerated dozens of times. Fiat Chrysler was a mix of Fiat and Chrysler, obviously, and both of those companies were historically retainers of different failed brands (Maserati, Lancia, AMC, Simca, et cetera). Then glommed onto this was Opel, from GM Europe, and PSA, itself a mix of French automakers not associated with Renault. It’s somewhat challenging to think of a brand that’s never been a part of one of the various defunct automakers that now form Stellantis.
You’d think that this would mean that the company would get rid of its very shortsighted policy of making employees with competitive vehicles park far away from the entrance. Michigan gets very cold for a lot of the year, and then gets hit with huge storms at other times. Making someone park in a far off lot because they took their husband’s Honda to work sucks, as David wrote almost exactly ten years ago:
This might sound counterintuitive on the face of it, but employees who drive a competitor’s cars are a company’s biggest asset. They bring perspectives to automotive design and engineering that differ from those of people who have all been driving the same few company-built products throughout the years. There’s no need to punish these competitive-car owners. On the contrary, you want them on your team.
I think that’s absolutely correct. I don’t want writers who only read The Autopian, I want writers who read everything. So has Stellantis abandoned this policy? Of course not! As The Wall Street Journal reports, enforcement is alive and well, and also hilarious:
A Stellantis spokeswoman said preferred parking is reserved for company-branded vehicles. “Employees must adhere to posted signage and communications,” she said.
The results can be confusing and, at times, amusing. One online user said they were ticketed for parking an Eagle Talon sports car in a Stellantis lot, despite Eagle being a long-defunct nameplate from Chrysler, which is now owned by Stellantis.
[…]
Stellantis said that given the company’s long history and broad portfolio of legacy brands, older vehicles may be misidentified by security.
“Stellantis is reviewing its processes to help prevent such situations in the future,” the company said. “Employees are encouraged to contact Corporate Security if they believe a parking warning has been issued in error so it can be reviewed and addressed promptly.”
SO MANY BRANDS! There are so many ex-Stellantis brands!
Ok, let’s take the photo above. What would happen if I drove a Matra-Simca Rancho to Auburn Hills and parked up front? Simca was a French company, founded by Fiat, that then became Chrysler Europe. What was left of Simca was sold to the company that eventually became PSA Peugeot Citroën, which was then merged with Fiat Chrysler to create Stellantis.
What about a Ford Comète? The Comète is a Ford, but Ford SAF was eventually incorporated into Simca. Are all Ford France cars thus, in a way, Stellantis cars?
Good Luck Getting A New F-150 On The Cheap
The Ford F-150 is, typically, one of the most popular vehicles in the world. Ford sells every one it can build. It’s the building them that’s the problem. The F-150 relies on a lot of aluminum, and one of the major plants that provides aluminum for Ford caught on fire last year. Then it caught on fire again.
Can you guess what happens next? The Freep has the inevitable outcome:
The tight inventory could mean car buyers might pay more for an new F-150.
That’s because the Dearborn-based automaker is using what aluminum it can obtain to build more of the profitable high-end trims of the F-150, which have an average list price of about $87,000, said David Greene, principal of Marketplace and Industry Analytics at www.cars.com. Ford is building fewer entry-level F-150s, which have an average list price on Cars.com of about $52,000, Greene said.
Greene said making more of the pricier trims rather than base models is a strategy automakers deployed in 2021 when the COVID-19 pandemic disrupted the supply chain, causing a shortage of semiconductor chips, which carmakers use in vehicle electronics.
If only there were a word for this. Oh, right, Trimflation! Jamie LaRue shall rue the day she didn’t mention trimflation. Or, she won’t at all, and if I see her next week at the auto show, I’ll just be polite and not mention it. But I’ll be thinking it!
Shipping Packages Via The USPS Is About To Get 8% More Expensive
There’s a war. It might end the way it started, which is to say randomly and uncertainly. Either way, gas prices are elevated and likely to stay that way for a bit. This is impacting the postal service, which is going to add a fuel surcharge of 8% to packages according to the WSJ:
The 8% surcharge will begin on April 26, and the current plan is to phase it out on Jan. 17, 2027, the Postal Service said in a statement Wednesday that confirmed earlier reporting by The Wall Street Journal. The fee will apply to packages but not letter mail.
Other parcel carriers, including FedEx and United Parcel Service, have imposed fuel surcharges for years—alongside a basket of other surcharges and fees. Both FedEx and UPS have dramatically raised their fuel surcharges in recent weeks as the price of oil has increased amid the turmoil in the Middle East.
Diesel prices reached $5.38 a gallon this week, up 51% from a year earlier.
Conner Oberst would never.
$66,000 For The Kit Bash Magnus Walker 911 Seems Like A Decent Price
Our old pal Magnus Walker auctioned 16 cars and a bunch of other stuff recently, and the whole collection raised about $2 million, including $308k for a 1996 Porsche 911 S. As we mentioned before, this included what’s basically an Urban Outlaw kitbash starter kit. Also, it came with shoes!
The bidding for the starter kit ended at $66,000, which included:
German-delivery 1968 911 L coupe with additional hood, fender, 911 S fiberglass front bumper, 911 R-style louvered quarter windows, rear body panel, and more
Desirable 901/10 911 S 2.0-liter long block
Rare early 901/02 911 S five-speed gearbox
Further accompanied by four Minilite wheels, brake rotors, shocks, early Scheel seat, shifter and replacement dash
Complete with Magnus Walker Special Edition MOMO Prototipo steering wheel, Nike SB Dunk “277” sneakers, hat, and stickers
That’s a lot of kit! It also actually outsold this flat nose conversion by a bit.
What I’m Listening To While Writing TMD
The country music of my youth doesn’t get enough credit for being clever. I think this is both a result of all the shallow, Swedish-produced pop country that followed and the deplatforming of great female artists like Miranda Lambert by country radio. It’s therefore a little encouraging to see Ella Langley’s “Choosin’ Texas” performing well. It gets double points for being co-written by Lambert and for the George Strait reference.
The Big Question
What’s the best technically-Stellantis product to drive to Stellantis HQ?
Top photo: Stellantis; Bring a Trailer; DepositPhotos.com
What’s the best technically-Stellantis product to drive to Stellantis HQ?
1988 Gulfstream G-IV
Ten points for the use of palimpsest.
Oh well thank fuck we cancelled all the electric USPS trucks then
How stable are battery prices currently?
I assume they are delivered by diesel like everything else.
I believe Roofless’ comment is meant to be: If we had kept the plan for electric USPS trucks, there would be no need for a fuel surcharge.
You know they will invent a lithium surcharge, or something else.
I told an electrician what I paid for my last spool of 10 gauge.
They laughed!
That’s not good.
So now the back of my truck is full of wire ends. Not to scrap either.
USPS still has funding from the Inflation Reduction Act to order 70% of the NGDV with an electric powertrain.
Last year the GOP tried and failed to both claw back that funding and force the USPS to spend $1.5 Billion to sell and replace all their current electric vehicles and remove the chargers.
When I was selling tech to Stellantis (they were in their Fiat Chrysler era at the time), I ALWAYS made sure my rental car was one of their brands when I went onsite. Even if that meant waiting an hour for National to find a Caravan from the back lot. They’re grumpy about that stuff.
The best and heaviest technically Stellantis vehicle to park at a Stellantis facility:
M1A1 main battle tank. I dare anyone to ticket or key that beast that was designed and began construction at plants owned by Chrysler.
The Eagle Talon is a good example. I’d love a combo of parking the Talon next to an Eagle Vision with the latter being an obvious Chrysler cab forward design. Otherwise, any Lancia.
Do foreign brands do this favoritism or is it just the domestic brands? I don’t consider Stellantis to be American in the end.
Even when foreign brands build vehicles in the US, one argument I oft heard was “but the profits go back to Japan/Germany/etc”. Well the profits for Stellantis go back to France; well technically they’re HQ’d in the Netherlands for tax purposes I assume, but they are decidely not a Dutch company.
Nope.
Honda and Toyota don’t do this shit. Nobody else has this childish parking policy except the big 3/UAW shit
I believe GM ditched this policy sometime after Mary Barra took over.
This is a UAW game.
I would drive a Fiata (Fiat 124, technically) to the HQ. It’s so opposite to most (all?) cars currently built and/or sold by Stellantis in the US.
I would also offer an early 70’s Alfa Romeo, but it would rust into a pile of dust by the time security finishes writing their ticket. (Michigan weather is harsh.)
TBQ: Sno-Runner. It’s definitely a Chrysler, but barely says so in faint lettering on the seat.
Oh man, I would have an entire fantasy stable of deep-cut Stellantis vehicles! Obviously, I’d show up with my Lancia Scorpion and then the rainbow painted Matra Bagheera I may have tried to buy last fall. Then I’d show up in an Iveco Daily then an old OM truck, a Zust Targa Florio racer, an Allis-Chalmers tractor, A Case tractor, and eventually, if they really wanted to play, a Fiat 3000 tank. I might have to draw the line at a Vega rocket launch system though.
FAFO, my beloved Stellantis, I will break your brain with your own history…
I’m thinking a Peugeot 405 Mi16.
Ooh the Baghera is a nice one.
when i worked at a gm, i had a Civic Si and then a Sentra SE-R. I parked close to front doors. never got keyed. never got a ticket. (2 facilties- TechCenter and an assy plant)
the parking rule is a cave in to the cave men of the UAW.
a smart company would absolutely agree that – employees who drive a competitor’s cars are a company’s biggest asset. – (especially if they are in engineering supervision management) The big 3 are not smart- you knew that already.
Ella… I can’t two-step. I don’t like Texas. I’ll be happy to buy you a Jack anywhere you like.
Today’s TBQ: A 1982 Plymouth Sapporo. Bonus points for it being a model named after a city in Japan and rubbing someone’s nose in the death of Plymouth as a brand.
Best “Chrysler/Stellantis” car to park on site? Renault Alliance or Encore. Honorary mention to the 1978-1983 Dodge Challenger, since nothing upsets MoPar guys more than that car…
I doubt there’s an Alliance left that could drive from anywhere to the Stellantis plant.
That Matra Rancho pic looks like an alternative album cover for “Who’s Next”.
If you squint, it looks like Prince is getting ready to waste that dog
Prince Roger Noem?
LOL, just had to clear out my totaled golf and found a stash of Stellantis parking tickets from the time I worked there. They had suspended the company only lot rule for most of covid as most people were wfh. When they reinstated I was one of the stubborn folks who did got dinged till we got with the program. ha
Growing up in the suburbs of Detroit many of my friends had parents who worked for the big three. There was a time in the well I to the 90’s if you parked something manufactured by someone other than who you worked for the car would be keyed in employee lots. So I guess we’ve advanced as a society with just getting a ticket rather than a vandalized car?
My friend’s mother worked for an adult education/training company. In the 90’s the company had a contract with a Ford factory and she’d have to go to the factory for work. She drove a Honda Accord. On her first day, she came back to the parking lot of find her Accord keyed and dinged. From then on she parked her car as far away from the entrance as possible.
Yeah, somewhat left unmentioned here is that the “Only American Cars” lots were the brainchild of UAW shop stewards, and the original meaning was “Cars made with non-union labor will be damaged.”
The legacy lives on, but it’s almost as much for the protection of the people driving foreign cars as it is for the convenience of those driving nameplate cars. And it makes no sense for Stellantis/Fiat/whatever, as their list of brands are mind-bogglingly difficult to track.
I can’t believe nobody’s said Wartburg yet, so that. A Wartburg. Any Wartburg, but preferably a post-chrome/pre-facelift 353 sedan in lime green or German taxi beige.
Wartburg may indeed be the correct answer. OTOH an EMW 340 might achieve another level of trolling, especially an earlier one with BMW badges.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BMW_340
Why did we bail them out again? Detroit keeps proving over and over that they should never have been bailed out.
Fuck, I want to import a Citroen or Peugeot (lets be honest, there basically aren’t any UDSM French cars left here anyway LOL), or better yet, an Opel Sintra! Yeah, Opel is Chrysler now but used to be GM 😛
You’re allowed to park an 89 Eagle Medallion in Chrysler’s lots but not an 88 Renault Medallion.
Honda and Toyota don’t have these childish parking rules.
Well, the first time was because of incompetence on the company’s part.
The second time was because this “free market” let Daimler buy Chrysler, milk it dry, then sold a majority stake of the company to an American Investment Firm that thought it was going to be a quick flip, then realized they did not have the money, or patience, to invest.
At least with both bailouts, the loans got paid back in full…. AFAIK.
I agree that the ossified Detroit subculture is a detriment. The best thing for the “American” auto industry would be for them to just abandon the midwest. At least their design and business operations.
If they left the midwest, they’d likely go to the south, which isn’t really any better 🙁
If they went to the coasts, they’d have a better shot
Chalmers with Hot Spot and Ram’s Horn.
Or Jack Benny’s Maxwell.
What’s the best technically-Stellantis product to drive to Stellantis HQ?
Mitsubishi Raider with a 4.7 Powertech and 4×4
Or one with the 3.7 V6/6-speed manual.
Almost bought one.
I worked for a small company during the Great Recession. Business was starting to slow down but I wasn’t terribly concerned. One day, the owner sent out a memo saying that paperwork moving between departments shouldn’t be stored in sorters on top of the file cabinets anymore. That was when I started to worry.
Because, man, if this is what you’re focused on right now…we’re in trouble.
Issuing parking tickets for competitor makes? My friends…
What if you drive a Mercedes? Does it have to be from the Daimler-Chrysler era to count?
Park a Leapmotor EV in the lot. I’d love to see the reaction from both parking enforcement and from fellow employees.
A Panhard 24 for the Stellantis HQ ‘excursion’. Stellantis needs to die!
The question in my mind, is this current D and M excursion triggered Black Swan event gonna be bigger than Covid, Great Recession and the dot bomb combined? I personally think so. I do hope that history records this for posterity as brought on by DUI and masterful negotiations.
Ford should have known better, on the great aluminum truck adventure.