Alright, here we go, time for another edition of car crime. We’ve previously seen a muppet in a BMW M3 wipe out into a traffic stop, a Dollar General Marvin Heemeyer crash a skid steer into a cop car, and hands thrown at a Toyota dealership. Today, let’s watch some dashcam footage of a failed getaway in what local news channel Fox 19 reports was a stolen PT Cruiser.
The chase occurred earlier this month in Franklin, Ohio. Pursuit of a stolen PT Cruiser adds a little levity to things, but it’s still an indictment on the state of a society if someone in it feels the need to (allegedly) steal a PT Cruiser of all things.
You can sense a sort of desperation in the tactics used by the PT Cruiser driver during the pursuit, as every trick in the book is tried to little success. Driving on grass? Check. Cutting through alleyways? Check. Traveling in oncoming lanes? Duh. Do any of these things work? Not really.
Even if a driver is pushing a PT Cruiser as fast as it’ll go, the end result still isn’t that fast. Remember, it’s not outrunning if one unit is glued to the PT Cruiser’s bumper the entire time. So why did this chase last more than 20 minutes? Well, there are at least two good potential answers.
For a substantial stretch of the pursuit, the PT Cruiser is driving primarily on neighborhood streets. Generally, it’s a bad idea to attempt a PIT maneuver if there are houses and driveways in the immediate vicinity. In addition, it’s probably not the best policy to go nuclear right off the rip, so we see the cops waiting for the suspect to make a big mistake before going for the PIT. In this case, the mistake was striking a curb and losing the right front tire.
In the end, police apprehended the suspect while possibly totaling the PT Cruiser due to body damage, and no bystanders seemed to get caught in the chase. At no point was there a substantial likelihood that the PT Cruiser could’ve evaded the pursuing Durangos, no matter what PT Cruiser owners believe on the forums. In Motor Trend testing, a Hemi Durango Pursuit hit zero-to-60 mph in 6.5 seconds. Considering the turbocharged PT Cruiser GT managed a 7.2-second dash in Car And Driver testing, this isn’t even a contest. Anyway, don’t even think about stealing cars, and don’t try to run from the cops in a PT Cruiser. You think this would be common sense, but no. Fuck’s sake.
(Photo credits: Cop Camera USA/YouTube)
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