Someone Built Two Of The Most Insane Corvettes Ever, And Of Course They Used The C4

If absolutely nothing else, Facebook Marketplace is the final boss of window shopping. Sometimes I’m doom scrolling away when I see someone selling a shitton of homemade tamales that I’m sure are both delicious and safe. Other times, I kid you not, I’ve seen sex toys labeled as lightly used (which there’s no such thing as light usage in LA, amiright!). And other times, I’m out with my friends when I find myself suddenly going on another tirade of me trying to get them to buy shitty off-road-ready vehicles so they can join me on the trails. Are they ever gonna buy those off-roading shitboxes? No. Should I buy those tamales prepped by a stranger in a likely unclean kitchen? Probably not. Should I absolutely buy those ‘lightly’ used sex toys? My editors are telling me not to answer that question. [Ed Note: My god…-DT]. 

Regardless of what you see on any given day on Big Zucks’ Marketplace, there’s always a gambling-like energy that I find when scrolling through it, because a banger just might find its way to you. Today is one of those days.

Listen, I’m not gonna hate on what the owner has done to these cars, because I sincerely believe that the worst thing that’s happened to car culture over the last 10 years (ok “ever since cars were created,” if we’re being honest) is the idea of something “holding its value.”

We’re so concerned with the resale value that we garage park our sports cars. It’s why some folks are scared to take their car on a trail and get a little pinstripe or two on the door. It’s why folks buy a black, gray, or white econobox and refuse to slap a bumper sticker on it that says, “Honk if You’re Horny, I’m a Wine Mom, I have 10 Babies on Board.” What happened to the fun?!

I bet when this guy started his build on these two Vettes (and assuming these weren’t wrecked), he did it knowing damn well he’s probably never getting his money back on them, and I think the listing price of $8,500 is probably a good reflection of that. But do you think he started this thinking, “boy, I can’t wait to flip this for a massive profit?” I sure as hell doubt it!

No, if anything, I’m confident he got bored and/or piss-drunk on some premium Sam Adams and said, “Screw it. I’m putting a Mercedes front end and VW Beetle lights on one of my vettes and turning the other one into a Kaido bosozoku freak and just hoping shit looks rad. Also, I’m starting right now,” and I respect him for that.

The owner, Mike, says on the listing that the yellow is “custom-molded” with “Ferrari-inspired bodywork,” but also that it’s in a pretty sordid state. “Interior missing, bodywork unfinished, engine condition unknown.” Great sales pitch here, Mike. I’m still listening.

I don’t know about you, but I haven’t seen a Ferrari that looks like that, to the point where I don’t even know how you could put Ferrari and that in the same sentence. But if there’s one thing I do know about the prancing horse, it’s that they do have interiors.

Anyway, the other one is a C4 described as a “Custom Rat Rod,” and there’s very little information on it other than the fact that the interior is missing and that the engine might run.

Now, cards on the table: I’m not a guy who exactly relishes the idea of buying someone else’s project car, let alone an unfinished one, and I certainly don’t think I’d start with this one that might not even run. Add on the fact that the C3 and C4 that these projects are based on are the most produced models by pretty stupid margins (542,862 and 358,180, respectively, with third place being the C5 at 248,715), and I really think that you’d have a better time buying your own Vettes from those generations and starting a project of your own. It’s more likely to run at that point, and you might even save a few bucks in the process.

Check out the listing if you’re interested, but maybe bring a tow truck if you decide to take them home.

Photo: Mike Benedetto/Facebook Marketplace