Mercedes: I guess we should write about the new SUV version of the Mercedes-AMG GT Four-Door.
Me: Ok, weirdo.
Jason: Why’s that, why’s that weird?
Me: She said they made an SUV version of the Mercedes-AMG GT Four-Door and she’s going to write about it.
Jason: She’s probably going to, because they just released it.
Me: Yeah, a weird sedan.
Jason: They made an SUV version of it and it look just as weird.
Me: Can you imagine?
Jason: Oh no… you don’t know.
Me: I don’t know… what?
Jason: You should probably just meander to the press site. Take a look… see if they did it.
Me: Dare I? Hah! You know what, I’m going to…for old time’s sake.
Me: Great practical joke, Jason, you got me to go to the press site….
Me: NOOO!!!
Me: GOD!!
Me: No, GOD, Please, No!
Me: No!
Me: No!
Me: NO!
Me: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
If you enjoyed this little bit of theater that’ll probably prevent us from getting a Mercedes press car anytime soon, getting invited to an event, or getting any pre-embargo information, please consider clicking this link and becoming a member![Ed Note: I kinda like it. -DT].
Top photo: Mercedes-AMG, NBC Universal
Obligatory reference to Clarkson’s “the car they just couldn’t stop styling” quote.
At this point arguably it’s not tacky enough. If you’re gonna go maximalist go big, I hope each of those taillight stars has more tiny stars in it if you look closely. Cram star references in the grill lights and upholstery. Screaming three pointed star in matte paint on the hood! Stars at the bottom of the cupholders maybe. I’m sure there’s room for more. Can’t have people forgetting they bought one of the world’s top status symbols.
As far as CUV/SUVs go, I’ve seen much worse.
Honestly, looks better than the sedan. Is it pretty? Hell no.
And would render a nice wagon, probably prettier than current M5. The Bishop should give it a try.
Someone was told to ask what Fat Elvis would look like as an SUV.
They should call this the Mercedes-AMG Fat Elvis.
And this does look like it’s mainly for fat Americans with money.
It’s depressing, but it looks better than the sedan does.
[edited: nevermind]
Why does it have fallout shelter signs for taillights?
Some cars have hazard lights. This has biohazard lights.
You know, I met a doctor who DDs a tuned but stock-appearing 2006 Impreza STI (nice!), and owned a 911 GT3 (because he wanted a manual) for some time (wow!). But he yearns for a Lamborghini Urus. I thought he must be joking, there is no way a true enthusiast would see any appeal for that abomination, but he wasn’t. And he’s a true enthusiast who actually spends money on his passion, and he’s the market Mercedes is seeking to appeal to. TBF, I like the front and the low hood. The rear is … awful.
It’s… not bad from the outside if you fix the tail lights. Just, don’t look at it from the back or the inside?
The tail lights, just, why?
Can I get some of whatever these designers are smoking?
Tacky as fuck. russians will love it.
So will the Chinese… as well as plenty of Americans.
I can’t wrap my head around the fact that these automakers both fell for the joint venture requirement AND respond with this utter crap