Mercedes: I guess we should write about the new SUV version of the Mercedes-AMG GT Four-Door.
Me: Ok, weirdo.
Jason: Why’s that, why’s that weird?
Me: She said they made an SUV version of the Mercedes-AMG GT Four-Door and she’s going to write about it.
Jason: She’s probably going to, because they just released it.
Me: Yeah, a weird sedan.
Jason: They made an SUV version of it and it look just as weird.
Me: Can you imagine?
Jason: Oh no… you don’t know.
Me: I don’t know… what?
Jason: You should probably just meander to the press site. Take a look… see if they did it.
Me: Dare I? Hah! You know what, I’m going to…for old time’s sake.
Me: Great practical joke, Jason, you got me to go to the press site….
Me: NOOO!!!
Me: GOD!!
Me: No, GOD, Please, No!
Me: No!
Me: No!
Me: NO!
Me: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
If you enjoyed this little bit of theater that’ll probably prevent us from getting a Mercedes press car anytime soon, getting invited to an event, or getting any pre-embargo information, please consider clicking this link and becoming a member![Ed Note: I kinda like it. -DT].
Top photo: Mercedes-AMG, NBC Universal
I feel like I want to ask it to draw a dragon.
Deep cut
Ugly, but I think this styling works better here than it does on the sedan.
Is this the Fonz on water skis?
Biting humor. Glad you’re having fin.
Or jumping over a shark.
They shoot horses don’t they?
Mercedes is really blurring the line between AI slop and real-world slop these days.
Noooooooooooooooooo
And I say this as a huge fan of the pig-snout AMG GT
You know they had to. We now live in the world of simulacra.
This might seem extreme, but they need to blow up the Mercedes design centre and salt the earth.
Nah, you are being reasonable
Y’all, this SUV isn’t for us enthusiasts. This is for the “henchman car” demographic and its fans.
The regular action movie generic bad guys get GLE AMG coupés, and the miniboss gets one of these.
BMW’s been catering to this market with products like the X6 and XM and they’re seeing record profits. Let AMG do this so they can make more sports cars! All the ~~well-leveraged~~ I mean *well-heeled* parents who buy one of these are funding the existence of fun cars like the actual 2-door AMG GT.
I think the concern is unlike the lore of the Porsche Cayenne saving 2-door cars, you are going to have this new SUV, the X6, the XM…but none of the good stuff.
This was very amusing, it’s so over the top aggro with gamer lighting that it deserves some over the top reactions. I kind of like it too, I’m sure it will sell great and make them lots of money just like all the other high-performance luxury SUVs. At least it’s not a Hummer.
This is what you get when you “upgrade” from a Hummer.
Oh please, PLEASE, get Uncle Adrian’s thoughts on this, we’re begging you.
Nah, poor thing. He already has been tortured with the Rodious.
Is this one “The Best or Nothing?”
The recent trend of extremely expensive, extremely ugly “luxury” and halo vehicles is kind of fascinating, in a trainwreck sort of way.
Is there an ugly plague I don’t know about? The Jaguar was really bad. Then the Toadster redefined fugly. Now this.
Perhaps God is revisiting the biblical plagues, except now in the form of… cars?
It would be reasonably attractive as a much smaller hatchback, this is like someone inflated a decent looking sports car with a bicycle pump and stuck gamer glitter all over it. To my eyes it at least looks finished unlike the Jaguar which still looks like a half-assed Microsoft Paint sketch.
I guess it’s time to accept that people buy SUV’s. I don’t get the reason why it needs so many screens, but I’m not with it anymore, and they’re not targeting me as a buyer. Hopefully this brings someone some happiness, even if it’s not me.
What’s the big deal? Don’t fish usually have gills?
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I like how the rear lights look like the radioactive sign, warning you to stay the hell away from it.
My immediate first thought when seeing the rear. Bruno Sacco must be turning in his grave!
I thought that too, then on my second glance, I thought they were Mitsubishi logos. The car would actually be a cool Mitsubishi.
I can’t remember the last time I even thought a new Mercedes vehicle was cool.
Maybe the 2004 SLR McLaren? I saw one driving in Miami Beach back then and it definitely turned my head.
Now Mercedes * just turn my stomach
*these awful cars, not Miss Streeter who we love
Yeah, out of those New Mercedes Vehicles, I think the MGF is kind of cool. 🙂
I can hardly remember when MB was considered tasteful luxury and performance.
EEWWW! Jeeze, I’ll take a crab juice.
Ugh, where’s Perseus when you need him? Although, Mercedes Medusa does have a nice ring to it.
I just don’t understand it. Mercedes (Benz) used to be able to make cars that didn’t look like they’d been driven through your favorite Chinese marketplace website’s automotive warehouse with very strong superglue applied to them, so what changed?
Unironically, I think that’s the aesthetic they’re shooting for.
Mercedes global sales by region:
42% in Asia. (31% in China)
35% in Europe
18% in North America
Vehicle design reflects the tastes of their largest customers. Also if my younger coworkers are a representative sample they also like the current design trend.
This is the appropriate response.
Also, does the carpet come sticky from the factory?
Does it come with a commemorative vape pen and custom-tailored tracksuit?
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