Let’s get this out of the way first: if you’re buying your gasoline on Craigslist, maybe you’ve been making some decisions in your life that are worth re-evaluating. I’m not saying this is a universal, just a sign that’s perhaps worth looking at. What’s also worth looking at is this particular Craigslist ad from Denver, where you could buy 33 gallons of “old but goodish” gasoline! In bags!
Yes, bags. It’s the bags that are the real punctum of this ad, because the existence of gasoline in bags is always something that brings up questions, so many complicated questions. Questions like, why the hell is this gasoline in bags? How did it get into these bags? Who thought this was a good idea?
Here, look at these gas-bags:
Based on that picture, maybe there should be some written assurance that you’re not looking at bags of urine, too.
So that’s three bags of 11 gallons each. The seller notes the gas is premium, 93 octane, so that means, based on Denver gasoline prices, we’re looking at about $122.20 worth of gas! That’s a pretty good deal, for free gas! Well, again, free “old but goodish” gas, which itself brings up all kinds of questions.
Questions like, was this person just storing 11-gallon bags of gas in their house or garage somewhere? Jammed behind the hot water heater, maybe? In the living room, using them as additional seating?
Are those bags just zip-tied shut? Are they even double-bagged? I don’t think so.
Also, how did Waste Management goof up here? Maybe they didn’t want to take huge bags of gasoline?
So, so many questions. And gotten to the most interesting question here: what the fuck are you supposed to do with these bags, should you decide to toss them, sloshily, into your hatchback? Most places that make the peculiar choice to distribute liquids in unstructured plastic bags rely on some kind of extra, more substantial support structure to decant that liquid.
Take the Canadians and their weird love of bagged milk:
See what’s happening there? You need that plastic pitcher to handle that floppy milk bag. Otherwise it’d be like you’re trying to get a shaved badger to vomit badger milk into a bowl.
But an 11-gallon plastic bag of gasoline? How the hell are you going to get that into your car’s fuel tank, should you acquire these bags? I guess you could put a big funnel in your fuel filler, then wrap your arms around one of those bags, and, what, cut off a corner, like a Montreal milk bag?
Then where would you be – wrestling that big sloppy bag of gasoline, desperately trying to point that pulsing stream of gas –which, I imagine, must resemble the urine stream of a healthy adult rhino – into the funnel, where maybe, what, half a gallon out of the 11 actually makes it in? Have you ever tried holding a big bag of liquid like that? Or even a smaller bag? It’s like wrestling a jellyfish.
Maybe you could wet-dry vac the gasoline out and into a more suitable vessel, if you’re comfortable running a possibly sparky electric motor around a blob-shaped mass of gasoline constrained by a thin plastic membrane, which maybe you shouldn’t be.
I’m so baffled by all of this. I reached out to the seller to get some background or more information or even an exciting possible lie, so I’ll update if I get a response.
There’s also just something so funny about substances or objects in unexpected containers. A basket of mustard. A can of shrimp cocktail. A satchel of chili. A pitcher of meatballs. A can of hoagies. You get it.
If there’s an answer that makes me think, ohhh, that makes sense, I’m going to be very excited.
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Thrash bags full of gasoline means one thing to me above all else … just search up “wall of fire oskosh” and enjoy. Created with many many trash bags full of gasoline, jet a, and diesel …..
I love when one of my tips makes it on here as an article
The fact that he’s giving it away free means means he knows it’s not good.
It could be the project car he drained it from isn’t gonna run any time soon, and his daily is EV or Diesel.
More likely, he knows the gas has been sitting way too long and he doesn’t trust it in his vehicle, or he knows it’s gonna be impossible to get out of the bags.
Although now that I think about it’s pretty likely someone dumb enough to think a plastic bag is a good idea to drain gas into also doesn’t understand you can use higher octane in a car designed for regular.
Other people have said it, but I don’t think there is any way those are 11 gallons apiece. Maybe in total.
In any case I implored my Denver gearhead friends to go pick it up.
Cheeseburger in a can is apparently a real thing. And it comes topped with what I have to imagine is the saddest lettuce ever
In America I have seen chicken in a can. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE
A) Canned cheeseburgers are from Switzerland and can’t be blamed on the US.
B) Is canned chicken with bones somehow worse than canned chicken without bones? It’s still dead bird in a can. At least this was it has some fat.
I swear I was picturing an aerosol can right from the beginning of this comment thread. Then I got to “canned chicken with bones”. Must wipe off keyboard and screen now….
Careful. I’ve seen what you people put in pies.
OK, why would someone throw out “good” gasoline? Where did it come from? How old is the gas? The container is inconsequential to… how do you trust the contents?
The container is not inconsequential when we’re talking about gasoline. Especially when the container is a plastic bag. Anyone stupid enough to do that likely doesn’t know why gasoline and certain types of plastic don’t mix.
Plastic bag’s not the worst option, honestly. It’s almost certainly LDPE (similar to the HDPE used in gas cans), so it’s at least OK chemically. I’d be more worried about the mechanics – if they’re 11 gallons each that’s 66lbs, which is a lot of strain on something that thin.
You’re clearly putting more faith than I am in someone who listed it as “old but goodish” gas in a bag.
Normally the gas bags are doing the writing
The milk in a bag called Milchtüte was sold in both West and East Germanys during the 1970s. They fell out of favour when Tetrapak introduced the carton packages that are more practical and easier to store and transport.
> A can of shrimp cocktail
We all know shrimp comes in wheelbarrows.
Or the frunk of a Mustang MachE
Gah, Canadian milk bags (not slang for Northern mammaries as far as I know) was the FIRST thing I thought of on seeing the gas bag photo.
Oh boy, good ol homo milk (not being homophobic, that’s the official name for homogenized milk, at least in Ontario)
I’ve been to Canada (and love it, and Canadians too in general) half a dozen times, but ’til now, I was unaware of that! Thanks MC! 🙂