I’m not sure there has ever been a vehicle that inspires so much simultaneous adoration and revulsion as the Tesla Cybertruck. The thing isn’t even out yet, and there’s already people both ready to burn one in (a simple, plywood) effigy and those that are seriously considering starting to pray to it instead of their current deity. I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced anything like this before.
A fantastic example of this can be seen when, just yesterday, Tesla’s lead designer Franz von Holzhausen showed up to the Malibu Cars and Coffee with a pre-production (I hope) Cybertruck wearing a matte black wrap. Autojournalist Daniel Golson spotted the thing and took these pictures you see here, and there are two really interesting revelations: the surprisingly rough build quality of this thing, and, even better, the alarmingly rough interactions of Tesla -philes and -phobes in the comments of Daniel’s X (something something former Twitter something) post. Because they’re nuts.
Here’s Daniel’s initial post, which has been retweeted by over 1,200 people:
Don’t worry everyone, the Cybertruck looks horrible in matte black too pic.twitter.com/hMu0mUk1zJ
— Daniel Golson (@dsgolson) November 5, 2023
And here are some more pictures of the wrapped Cybertruck:
Then Daniel posted these close-up pictures of the Cybertruck, which reveals some pretty iffy build quality and panel fitment issues, and I think this is really where all the fun starts. I mean, look at this:
Oof, that’s um, not great, even if we ignore the wrap wrinkles. There are lots of tricky angles coming together there, I get that, but that hood doesn’t even really look closed. Here’s another angle:
All those angles and straight edges can be pretty unforgiving for this type of thing; I think it’d be challenging to build well for almost any carmaker, if that helps. Of course, that could be part of why other carmakers haven’t decided to build a car like this, with these huge, flat, stainless body panels.
Getting these wheelarch trims to fit flush seems a challenge, too. But by far the most egregious issue had to be with the tailgate, which looked like this when closed:
I’m pretty sure that the tailgate is supposed to meet and close flush with the bedsides there, and the rear taillight bar is supposed to line up seamlessly with the light units build into the bedsides.
As you can see, it’s not, by at least a good quarter inch or so? Maybe a bit more? Also, even in matte black, this all feels like commercial kitchen equipment, somehow. And, yes, with the bed tonneau up, you do lose the rear window.
Also interesting is the size of this support pillar under the steeply-raked A-pillar, where the rear-view mirror is mounted. It’s a pretty thick block of metal and plastic that does make for a hell of a blind spot:
???????????? https://t.co/yuJz8QB0Y2 pic.twitter.com/YdTZkw5dZI
— Daniel Golson (@dsgolson) November 5, 2023
There are lots more good pictures here, too, beyond what was tweeted, which we have purchased from Daniel to run here:
Of course, when Daniel pointed out some of these issues – many of which, to be fair, may be solved when the final production Cybertruck hits the market – he got a lot of predictably cranky responses from the Cybertruck faithful.
The type of response varies a lot, but there are a few key staples, like the reminder that most of us have not, in fact, designed and developed a full-size automobile and placed it into mass production, and I guess that means you can’t complain about any production car as a result:
You know, it’s how there are no movie critics that have not produced entire movies, or food critics who have never run a restaurant, or cultural critics who have never started an entire society.
There’s also the attacks based on doing a lot of Googling for pictures of the original poster, and saying some shit about their style choices:
This is only a tiny look at the unacceptable harassment Golson has dealt with from Cybertruck diehards.
This interaction, though, I think is my favorite:
Here’s a nice example of the truly unhinged culty Tesla fan, where changing the world comes up:
I do have to disagree with Daniel on this point: I think Back to the Future picked the DeLorean BECAUSE it was cool:
Ah, Cybertruck madness! I hope it never ends!
All photos: Daniel Golson/The Autopian
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Now, I have a proper look at the Cybertruck up close (albeit in the photos). I wonder how Tesla would convince the European regulators that the front end of Cybertruck is “pedestrian-friendly“. Lot of sharp edges and protruding windscreen wipers that can impale the hapless pedestrians.
Wanting to be a good person I will only say this: Black doesn’t do it any favors. As for the DeLorean, while most agree it wasn’t a good car, most agree it was good looking.
honestly looking at it the biggest question I have is do you have to get those tires with the knots that line up with the wheel, and I feel like they would be a pain in the rear to put on the wheel lined up right, unless I’m wrong and that’s just a cover to line up. but also, how much would those one make only tires that likely wear out rather quick because electric car weight cost? final note, its odd and I personally don’t like it, but why is this the hill everyone on both side feels they should die on?!
TIL that Good Year was apparently chosen to deliver the rubber, since these are pretty much -cybertruck-only tires (285/65/R20 – this is new normal now I guess). The tire wall design is kinda cool, but I wonder about (wait for it…) cooling of the brakes; the wheelcover doesn’t seem to have any slits or ducts, and at this mass the brakes have to be substantial.
Brake cooling probably isn’t a huge concern given the potential of BEVs to regeneratively brake, so the vehicle kinetic energy is turned back into battery charge instead of into heat through the friction brakes.
You’re just worried that every CT sold means one less opportunity to sell a Wiper Trench.
I’m going to say something nice about this truck… this is harder than I thought… While the Cybertruck is ugly, poorly put together, and I don’t think the cover blocking the window is a good idea, I do like the fact that it might get some designers’ more creative truck ideas out there. Getting out of the basic truck body we’re used to might be up for a refresh. Just not this affront to the eyes.
yes, even if all the unique choices make it a worse product, we’ll likely see other truck designers creating their own new ideas out of spite.
Well if it has massive QA issues and doesn’t sell well, it could lead to more conservative designs since different did poorly.
Anyone who says the DeLorean was “the butt of the joke” in the original Back to the Future movie wasn’t alive when the movie was made.
I didn’t know it was a terrible car until I was older. When I saw that movie, it was the coolest car ever to my young brain. I think all cars should leave fire tracks behind as they drive, too.
It was a terrible exotic car in an era where almost all exotic cars were pretty terrible in many ways. But it was undeniably cool.
I was alive when the movie was made, and actually drove a DeLorean before then. It was the butt of the joke.
5-year-old me thought it was the coolest car in the world when I saw it… but you can’t say it wasn’t the butt of the joke when the movie itself had Marty incredulously saying “You built a time machine… out of a Delorean??” implying “why would you choose THAT as the base vehicle”. Not to mention how many plot points were based on it stalling out and not restarting.
Plus… how long did it take to get to 88 mph in 1955 near the clock tower? Enough time for Doc to yank out the cable, realize his mistake, wrap it around the clock hand, slide down the cable, untangle it from the tree, and run over to the light pole to plug it back in…
Definitely the butt of the joke, even if it was a really nice looking butt.
Especially with the black wrap, it really really looks like a movie prop spotted out in the harsh light of the real world. A lot of movie cars look awkward and kludged together when they’re out of the ideal conditions of the studio, or in this case Leon Mush’s imagination. Which begs the question of exactly what sort of dystopian world he sees that this actually looks good in.
Are we looking at the same pic? This thing looks great from the front!
This is the vehicle that no one asked for, made in a way that no one should, designed by someone who didn’t know how.
It’s not a very good pickup truck, and satisfies absolutely no needs other than the stubbornness of one particular person who can’t admit what a bad idea it is.
Not only is it taking way too long to be born, it will die a quick death upon arrival.
I think a lot of people are missing some key things here: the reason why this thing is so bad and weird is because Musk heavily involved himself
IIRC Tesla engineers had designed a fairly normal truck, but Elon scrapped it and had them include a bunch of nonsense (eg removing the dash and making it a touch screen)
This isn’t even the first time his golden touch turned things to sh*t. Starship was set to have a water cooled launch pad (as all HLVs have). But Elon decided to push the launch window up to 4/20 (har har). So they had to use a concrete pad. Anyone with basic understanding of concrete knows IT EXPLODES WHEN HEATED. So predictably it exploded, probably also sending chunks into the engines. IMO this is why a cluster of them failed on one side right away, which then made thrust vectoring too difficult later. Starship probably woulda made it to 2nd stage and maybe even landed without Musk’s “joke.”
Then of course Twitter. Unlike with Tesla and SpaceX, he can’t just rely on engineers to fix his problems because the kinda people needed to reduce harassment and improve user experience were all social science and HR types. Which means he fired them. He is extremely involved in Twitter and that’s a big part of why it sucks even more than pre-Musk Twitter (which is like the lowest bar).
Not to mention his small diameter tunnel company and hyperloop ideas, which are so bad from the outset good engineers don’t wanna touch them.
He’s only successful when he can rely on good engineers to do the actual work and they do their best work when he is at arms length.
This was better looking and more futuristic!
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/77/90-93_Pontiac_Trans_Sport.jpg
You know what? We were wrong to call those Dustbusters. Because as it turns out, the Dustbuster is much better represented by the Cybertruck: https://i.redd.it/5i9p6cqvali81.jpg
When I was a kid I thought this looked like a fucking spaceship. We had a brown Chevy Astro. 🙁
DeLorean was chosen in Back to the Future cause it was a new unique car, cool since it was designed by Giugiaro but … cheap compared to a Ferrari. Otherwise unwanted.
Man, Golson started a war between the fanboys and haters using facts (photos). Sublime. Bravo.
I…..I like it. I mean it has zero of what I want in a vehicle (Simplicity, charm, warmth, bright, happy colors) but I really do think it looks cooler in black. And I’m not a black vehicle AT ALL. Just being completely objective, I like it.
It does look better in black, but that’s like saying a pig looks cooler because you painted racing stripes on it. Better? Yes. Good… weeellll…
who doesn’t want a pig with racing stripes?
Side pipes, too!
I guess the laser windshield wipers aren’t ready yet?
Pew pew. No more rain drops.
Those wheels look just like the plastic ones on my toddlers Power Wheels Jeep.. but the panel fitment is better on the $300 Chinese made toy, go figure..
Well…at least the tires actually have some sidewall.
-figured I’d try and say something nice about it for once
Yeah, butttttt, looking at those tyres they appear to be full bespoke to the car.
I’ll say this is like an LM002 mixed with Deloren, just electric, and not as cool cause well, no V12, and no movie.
We might yet see something around the same shenanigans as the Deloren aye!
Man, they missed a perfect opportunity to back it up just a few more feet.
The fifth to last pic, the one showing its rear-quarter angle, wtf is happening with that back wheel? it looks camber-ed in a weird way, like if its 4-wheel-steering wasn’t feeling right
It has to be some sort of 4-wheel steering, no?
“……..and those that are seriously considering starting to pray to it instead of their current deity.” Yup, see below.
cult
/kəlt/
noun
a system of religious veneration and devotion directed toward a particular figure or object.
“the cult of St. Olaf”
“a cult of personality surrounding the leaders”
My post a couple months ago stands: Tesla stans are the worst stans.
That thing is some kinda horrible design, with some kinda horrible assembly, for some kinda horrible quality at the end.
Actually it looks better in black.
Not necessarily good mind you, but at least less bad.
I hope someone gets good footage of this thing in crash tests. I just want a supercut of this thing getting destroyed over and over and over…
No I don’t like Tesla, the Cybertruck or Musk, but it’s getting annoying everyone just hating on this thing all the time. I honestly appreciate the fact that’s it’s hideous. I wish more carmakers would have the balls to do stuff like this. The enthusiast community complains alllll the time that modern vehicles are boring but lose their shit when a unique vehicle is made. It was fun hating on the Cybertruck for awhile but it’s old news at this point. I really wish there was a more positive attitude instead of this cancel culture type of nonsense.
One: Just because something is unique doesn’t mean it’s good or worthwhile. Sometimes there’s nothing else like something for a very good reason.
Two: “Cancel culture?” Really?
Yeah really. Like I said I don’t particularly like Tesla but the Cybertruck does not deserve the hate it gets for literally no reason other than that a bunch of other people hate it too so it must be bad. It’s literally group-think mentality. I’m not gonna say I hate it until I test drive it for myself. Is it ugly? Of course. Does that mean it shouldn’t exist? No, not at all. Variety is the spice of life. If everything was the same and perfectly competent without flaws, life would be pretty boring.
Maybe lots of people hate it because it’s actually bad. This isn’t a conspiracy or groupthink. It’s a giant truck that looks like it was designed for the Atari Jaguar. People independently decided it was trash.
It’s not “cancel culture,” it’s bad design. And whether or not variety is the spice of life you still wouldn’t eat dog shit or claim it might be good if you just try it.
People also independently decided that the ford Sierra “Looked like it came from a jelly mould”.
just because you can make an analogy to mock something, that doesn’t make it objectively bad design.
I could imagine far worse design responses to the brief of “a brutalist car” or “car designed on an oscilloscope” than how the cybertruck has turned out.
Well, in a strange way I find Pontiac Azteks and the Isuzu Vehicross kinda cool now. . .so, maybe. I mean, they were never what I would call good looking vehicles. So bring out the strange cars, I am all for it. But that thing is ugly (according to my subjective taste, other options may very).
Exactly. It is ugly. It’s weird for no reason. That’s what makes it interesting.
I am so impressed how every time they bring one of these out in public that it manages to look worse and worse
I, do declare, with the power invested to me by the great state of South Carolina: All Delorean comparisons will be on hold till Elon is entrapped by the FBI for cocaine trafficking. ETA is June 3rd, 2025. Thank you for understanding.
If twitter existed in DeLorean’s day, he never would have had to resort to being entrapped.
Only pedos care about panel gaps.
The hell is this supposed to be?
Clearly a reference to the many times The Musk referred to people as pedos, most notably the guy who made the submarine for those Thai kids stuck in a cave
You mean Vernon Unsworth, the cave explorer with years of experience who criticized Elon for making a submarine that ultimately proved useless for the mission.
Elon’s team made a shitty submarine that almost certainly could not get through the gaps in the underwater cave to reach the kids. I was happy to see Elon trying to help when it happened, but his reaction, lashing out against a genuine expert, to honest criticism changed my opinion of him forever.
Oh that’s right. I done Poe’s Law’d myself.