If you haven’t noticed already, the Autopian is run by a group of people who claim to be adults, but may really be three Peel P50s in a trenchcoat. Poop seems to be a pretty big theme around here from our shitboxes to our morning dumps. After all, one of our first stories was about a fighter pilot using a F/A-18 fighter jet as a toilet, twice. Jason also seems to have a strong fascination with hyphenated asses, perhaps an attraction almost as strong as his love for taillights.
This morning, Jason wrote about the struggles of getting a tiny bulb out of his Nissan Pao: “But the problem is getting that tiny-ass bulb out to replace it is absurdly difficult. So much of car repair is just jamming your hands into tight, awkward areas, and this is a prime example of that. You get to the bulb from behind, but the little lower bulb is behind part of the metal bracket that holds the light in and is an un-removable part of the body, leaving less than an inch to twist the little housing, slide the bulb out, change it, etc.”
Jason describes the process as an ass-pain. Well, at least some of you have had enough ass on your cars, sparking one bonkers thread this morning:
What’s the likelihood of stopping the use of hyphenated ass-words?
Love the site, love my membership, but this really jolts my senses about the level of article I’m reading. An otherwise reputable industry-leading car site suddenly it feels like a teenager’s blog post.
Try taking them out, and realize that they don’t add any meaning at all.
“getting that tiny-ass bulb out” -> “getting that tiny bulb out”
“what an ass-pain it was” -< “what a pain it was”
Bonus level (removing ass all together):
“it wasn’t a huge pain in the ass for something” -> “it wasn’t a huge pain for something”
A short post with three uses of the word “ass” just seems excessive for a non-fetish site.
Well, not that type of fetish anyway. Headlight/taillight fetishes seem to be appropriate.
but I love ass
Then Ted Fort rams it home with today’s COTD winner:
Regardless of your assessment, I don’t think you should assume that Jason is assenting to ascertain how to make you happy with his writing. Your assorted assembly of assaults on his assiduous devotion to entertain us, coupled with your assassinations of the characters of his assistants and associates is, frankly, asinine. I would suggest you assimilate with the assurors and asseverate his assays. Do you understand the assignment?
It reminds me of a Seinfeld skit that still gets me every time:
Admittedly, I’ve attempted to get an ASSMAN plate in the past, but Illinois wasn’t having it. Thank you so much for those early morning laughs, have a great evening, everyone!
(Top photo: NBC)