“STROKE ME STROKE ME…..STROKKKKE” the music blares through the speakers as I violently nod my head fore-aft, my mullet moving like a rabid raccoon and my left hand making the rock on sign high in the sky out of my driver’s window. My right hand has two fingers on the wheel of my 6.6-liter 1979 Pontiac Trans Am V8 with the legendary screaming chicken on its hood. Feeling like a total boss, I slam the accelerator as the light turns green and…almost nothing happens. My bright yellow sports car accelerates gingerly and quietly through the intersection; an old lady in a Toyota Avalon blows my doors off.
This is the 1979 Pontiac Trans Am in a nutshell. Its over-the-top design writes checks the car does not cash. Despite being well acquainted with the Malaise Era in American car history and how emissions regulations and high gas prices yielded all-show-no-go cars like this Trans Am, I still found myself surprised by the contrast.
[Welcome to Trade-In Tuesday, a weekly series where David drives a cool car that Galpin Motors is selling. Why am I writing about myself in the third person? Who knows… -DT]
I mean, look at this car. Everything about it exudes SPEED. From the huge hoodscoop touting the V8’s “6.6 Litre” displacement:
To the truly perfect mag wheels, that big chin spoiler, and that giant fender duct:
To that awesome trunklid spoiler to the dual exhaust to the sleek, hidden fuel filler between the wide, aggressive taillights:
And of course, to the screaming chicken:
There are very few cars in this world that scream “I’M FAST!” as loudly as the Pontiac Trans Am does, and yet, when you lift the door handle labeled “4 Wheel Disc” you don’t enter a blacked out, rock ‘n roll cabin with heavily bolstered sports seats and a funky shifter, you enter what feels more like a Swedish lounge:
Everything is brown, the seats give off a twead-suit vibe, the polished aluminum dashboard (edit: As reader LTDScott points out, this dash is called “engine turned”) is the same as was on my 1979 Jeep Cherokee, and the tall automatic shifter looks like it would be at home in a conversion van.
I don’t mind that, really. I like it when a car is sporty on the outside and be a bit more refined inside (my BMW i3S is similar), and I have to give the Trans Am high marks for general comfort. Those seats are great, those crotch vents lead to elite-levels of testicular comfort thanks to an AC system that blows cubes while probably robbing far too much horsepower from the engine, and the power steering is pure butter.
In truth, everything about the way the Trans Am drives is pure butter. The 6.6-liter (403 cubic-inch) Oldsmobile V8 — which Car and Driver described as a “basic utility other that [lends] low-end oomph to other basic utility devices such as Catalina and Bonneville Safari station wagon” — provides a nice burble at idle but when revved sings quiet, calming tunes while offering rather modest acceleration. The three-speed Hydro-Matic shifts cleanly and comfortably. The leaf sprung solid axle rear suspension and coil sprung independent front suspension provide a waterbed-like ride.
The Pontiac Trans Am is a personal luxury coupe of the highest order, and when looked at in that light, it’s a fantastic machine. It looks amazing on the outside and it’s extremely stylish and comfortable to drive. Will people probably pull up to you at a stop light to see if you’ve got the stuff to cash the checks being written by your bright yellow paint, your screaming chicken, your spoilers, and your big vents? Sure.
But pay those folks any attention. Crank up The Stroke, throw that Rock On sign out your left window, and just cruise like the badass you are in the most 1970s car of all time.
All screenshots: Griffin Riley
Ok, I am overqualified to comment on this one, as I have owned a 1979 Trans Am WS6 for the past 24 years.
Unless you got the W72 Pontiac 400 (this one’s an Olds 403, BTW, not a Pontiac 400), these were about as fast stock as your grandma’s Delta 88. GM knew this, and that’s why they made them HANDLE. This one has the optional WS6 package, which gave you all sorts of handling goodies, like wider 15×8 wheels, bigger sway bars, a tighter steering box, small subframe connectors, different suspension components, and the aforementioned 4 wheel disc brakes. It was actually rated the best handling domestic car of 1979 by some of the car mags back then!
These were best as “Day Two” cars, and there were aftermarket tuning houses that would turn your cash into performance. Someone did this with mine back in the day, so it has a few period performance parts that helped it hang with the older muscle cars.
Wow, Tony thank you for being here! An expert! I’ll pin your comment to the top.
Well pinned I must say 🙂
You got it, dude!
You’re absolutely right about “Day Two”. The emissions controls were very primitive and most states didn’t have emissions testing yet. Intake, headers, and a distributor recurve would wake these engines a LOT.
On day two in 1979, my uncle dropped the entire exhaust from the manifolds back out of his brand new Trans Am. True dual exhaust was the very first thing he did to the car. The neighbors were not happy when he left for work the next morning around 4:30, because he didn’t have an appointment at the muffler shop until after work. The catalytic converter from that car sat under an azalea bush by my grandma’s back door for over thirty years.
Mid/late 70s cars would wake up if you breathed on them, but you had to blow pretty hard on some of them.
Yeah, that’ll certainly help, but the 8.1:1 compression ratio is what’s gonna prevent you from getting any serious performance out of it.
Malaise era engines are a cam, heads, and exhaust away from being rocket ships. The engine in that ’79 is the same engine as the ones from late 60’s to early 70’s, just detuned.
The W72 400 really does fit that description. The 6X-4 heads on them were close to the late “Musclecar Era” heads and flowed well, and they really were a weekend and about $500 (of late 70’s money) away from keeping up with the big boys.
The Olds 403 was not as good, but throwing a cam and intake at one would at least make it a bit more entertaining.
Usually, but some are destroked/debored and no bolt-ons will fix that. I’m looking at you, Ford 255.
One still has to deal with low compression (~8:1) pistons, a product of the switch to unleaded gasoline in the early ’70s.
If one is changing a camshaft, that’s an engine out affair.
At which point, I’m thinking I want a better starting point that an Olds engine with less-than-fantastic aftermarket support.
If this was a Pontiac engine or Chevrolet, sure, the potential is totally there.
Yup, it’s the weak compression ratio that’s gonna stop you. Swapping the cam ain’t gonna do squat unless you get the comp ratio to 9.0:1 or higher.
Indeed – it’s still a bloody huge engine. Wake the thing up, emissions be damned. At least if you don’t live in Kalifornia. If you do, that is a self-inflicted wound, no sympathy.
Though IMHO, saying this car is the best handling domestic car of 1979 is like saying “ohh – she’s the hottest chic in the leper colony”. But I am biased by my love of European cars that actually do handle (and ride and steer) properly. Something the domestics didn’t really figure out for a decent few more years.
“At least if you don’t live in Kalifornia. If you do, that is a self-inflicted wound, no sympathy.”
Yes it’s absolutely terrible here, truly a Hell on earth. If you don’t live here already don’t come. Got to Florida instead. If you’re already here you should leave for Florida.
No in the hell you don’t.
Sorry, folks, Florida’s closed. The alligator out front shoulda told ya.
Fine, Alabama then.
They certainly can use the help.
I like visiting the place, but they literally don’t pay me enough to live there. It is, for me, pretty much hell on Earth. Too many people, and the parts with no people are not where I would want to live.
Nowhere is perfect, but I find Florida to be a very reasonable, and MUCH less expensive compromise.
Very true. I live in Florida and was just in California all last week…San Diego all the way up to Monterey and back down again. Hit a lot of interesting spots along the way. Beautiful State with great weather but man is it expensive!
When I bought my house here in SW FL in 2017, I had a project in San Diego just before closing. One of the guys I was working with was closing on a house there at the same time. Almost identical in size and similar layout (750sq/ft, 2bd/2ba), smaller yard, but NO garage or driveway – street parking only. And in an OK, but not stellar area of SD. My house was $90K. His house was *$990K*. My house cost less than the down payment on his house. The weather there is nice, but it isn’t THAT nice, and I can afford to have a summer place in Maine to get away when it’s not so nice. And literally EVERYTHING else is more expensive in CA too, if for no other reason than the sales tax is 1% higher (and of course he and his wife pay a small fortune in state income tax). I just re-registered two expensive cars and a utility trailer for *2* years for less than $200…
I made a little more than he did salary-wise, but I would make $0 more living in CA. Nope, no thanks. I don’t know how people even manage it out there, other than you pretty much have to be coupled-up or seriously high-paid to own a house. If I want to enjoy the natural beauty of CA, I can afford to vacation out there – he and his wife are slaves to that house payment. I paid my place off in three years.
Florida is full. Stay in CA
CA is much fuller. Move to Florida.
Extremely true. Other than within a handful of miles of the Gulf Coast, my county is *empty*. There is literally nothing in 80% of it but cattle.
People who complain about the traffic here on the Gulf Coast of Florida REALLY need to be airdropped into LA or SF for a day.
Florida also has more coastline, especially beaches. A better singles scene too. And the food is amazing, way better than California’s Oh and the oranges, it’s not even close! Move there instead.
I did, nine years ago. 🙂 Kind of on a whim, but it was the best financial decision I ever made, getting out of the $$$$ Northeast.
Can’t really agree about the food though – that’s a wash, though it’s LOTS cheaper here in Florida. Fresh oranges are lovely – but you can get those in CA too.
Comparing Florida oranges to those from California is like comparing a perfectly seared Waygu A5 steak to chewing on a cardboard box.
But if Florida is too ritzy Alabama has coastline too.
https://hofftoseetheworld.com/the-20-best-redneck-riviera-beaches/
LOL – I guess I am just not an orange connoisseur. Nor steak either, to be honest. I will take a plain old $35 Longhorn or Outback bone-in ribeye over a fancy Wagu steak any day. I’m a man of simple tastes. 😉
The Panhandle is just eastern Alabama anyway. That is waaay too “south” for me. I am in the “the farther south you go the more north you are” part of Florida. I don’t do redneck.
Well if its more relevant to your tastes my original comparison was Florida oranges as a Maybach and California oranges as a goat chewed Trabant running on pruno and used tractor oil.
Lol – as a former Trabant owner I can relate to that.
A man of simple tastes indeed.
Yeah I just commented about the 79 we just got last year and glad it has the WS6 package for the 4 wheel disc and it doesn’t have the stock 301 anymore haha
Mine has a questionable .060-over 1974 400 now displacing 414ci that I call the Ponti-Mutt. It also has a pretty beefy cam, 1971 GTO heads, nodular rotating assembly from a 1968 350 HO, roller rockers, and other goodies. It’s still waking up from being dormant for a very long time, but it’s extremely entertaining.
Hey! My mother’s Delta 88 blasted off the line – with almost no throttle tip in. A friend once drove my mother’s car for a little bit and said “I take back all the bad things I said about your driving – this thing has an on/off switch, not an accelerator!”
I’ve owned an ’80 Formula since 1986 (my first car) (profiled here: https://www.theautopian.com/firebirds-classic-bikes-and-antique-trucks-youve-probably-never-heard-of-members-rides/) and I can confirm that these things respond very well to modification. The foundation of the car doesn’t get the credit it deserves because they handle very well out of the box and some simple upgrades will have others at the track day wondering just where the hell you came from.
Which is among the reasons the RWD X sedans were the preferred ride for Police Departments for many years – as they shared the platform with the F body cars.
“It was actually rated the best handling domestic car of 1979 by some of the car mags back then!”
Better than the Corvette?
Somehow, yes? Well, at least to one major publication.
Car and Driver did a test back in ’79 and pitted a Trans Am against the L48 Vette, Z28, Fox Body Mercury Capri, and even a FWD Pontiac Phoenix SJ (huh?). The Trans Am won. I don’t get how this 3700lb nose-heavy beast did it, but it did. Mine still handles surprisingly well for what it is, even with some really worn suspension bushings that probably haven’t been fully present since the first Bush Administration. All those little WS6 bits and pieces help keep it glued.
“Somehow, yes?”
A flat glass smooth test track would be my guess. I don’t see anything with a live axle beating its IRS sibling on anything else.
Edit. Thanks to Joe the Drummer for providing a link to the shootout. They did test on real world roads, yet the live axle T-bird came out on top. Not sure if that’s a credit to Pontiac or a demerit to Chevy but given they point out none of their American cars are even close to what the Europeans were offering it sounds like the latter.
A really well developed inferior technology often beats mediocre superior technology. Decades of refinement on stupid rear-engined 911s, for instance.
I think Porsche has tried to kill the 911 a few times now.
Chrysler Horizon?
Yes.
https://www.caranddriver.com/photos/g15315062/in-search-of-the-best-handling-american-car-gallery/
Thanks. It sounds like 1979 was a good year to buy something from Europe if handling was your goal.
I just about lived at the drag strip when these were still fresh and I paid attention as I planned on building a 1974 Formula as a bracket car. Anyway I remember a stock ’79 Pontiac powered one running low to mid 15’s and an automatic Olds engined one stuck running low 16’s. In later years the Olds powered car’s owner swapped a 9:1 383 regular unleaded SBC in and changed the rear gearing it was his daily and would turn mid 13’s all day..
My Father in Law has one of these things, it sounds and looks awesome, i’ve only ridden in it once. My wife wants to buy or inherit it at some point. Hopefully i have enough time to grow out my mullet.
“My BMW i3S is basically a Trans Am” – David Tracey ????
In 1981 my driver’s ed company had the base trim V6 car of that generation in brown, talk about malaise, and we had to use that back seat–sure we’d be trapped and die if some other kid “drove” us into a flaming wreck. The teacher liked listening to Rush, so there was also that.
You have no idea how slow everything else was in 1979.
why sit on this video for 6 months? YouTube comment noted 2025 date, and I can’t remember the last time that it rained! and now it’s long-ago Sold…
Remember the “car casting” articles, about the perfect car for any particular movie?
The scene in “Billy Madison” when Adam Sandler shows up to High School in 1995, thinking he’s going to be king shit all over again just like he was in 1981, pulling up to the school in a 1981 TA, and he’s wearing a jean jacket, jeans, and a REO Speedwagon T-shirt, jamming Billy Squire. The cringe was exquisite!
Never like the split headlights. Give me the Smokey edition anyday.
“personal luxury coupe”
I also agree w/ others that this is not that; it’s a muscle car through and through…it just needs waking up for more muscle. I really want a 79 Lincoln Mark V…now THAT is a personal luxury coupe. See also any ol Caddy from that era…I also like/want a Chrysler New Yorker or Newport
Should probably label this one as a partner post, seeing as it’s just a big ad for Galpin.
I know they’re part owners of the Autopian, but still…
My favorite ride out of all my dozens of rides. Small, tall big and actually fast cars- this puke of a performer was just-….
Satisfying
> elite-levels of testicular comfort
My wife does not care about cars, but I read her the opening paragraphs to this and she commented “he writes car poetry.”
Very good article. Reminded me of the glory days of C&D before they got rid of all their good writers.
Modern cars are incredibly better, but generally more boring, than cars of years gone by. So it’s not unexpected that a granny in a Toyota can roast that chicken.
Here’s an interesting thought experiment: the first Indy 500 in 1911 was won at an average speed just under 75mph. Today every new car, be it ever so humble, is expected to keep that pace all day long on the interstate.
(I’m still not sure an electric car could win. They don’t have the range, especially at speed, and even the fastest charging would loose too much time in the pit hooked up to juice.)
Someone traded this on at a dealer? I would love to know how much they got. What’s Gaplin going to do with it?
Last time I asked for more affordable cars for trade in Tuesday y’all did not dissapoint, thanks David and Griffin.
I got to drive a nearly new, stock 79 Z28 with a 4 speed back then, that thing had horrible wheel hop when you got on it. That’s where the market for all those slapper traction bars came from.
That interior reminds me of the first guy I briefly dated – He was US Navy and drove an orange Formula with this same tan interior. His was a ’77 or ’78 – and of course the Formula had faux-wood trim rather than the turned aluminum – and his was a stripe-delete.
I got to drive the car a few times to pick him up from the piers in Norfolk – I remember being there in the rain waiting for him in that cozy velour cocoon with the windows steaming up…
…and I remember the driver’s armrest being loose – because those were big heavy doors and the car was not well built.
The car was kind of like him: All show, but there was no there there.
I have to say you paint a glorious picture of this Holy Grail as a journalist. However as a car advertisement you did a horrible job. No Price