Today is one of those days where I’m putting off doing the bigger stories I need to do by focusing on smaller ones, but that shouldn’t imply the smaller stories aren’t important as well. Because they are. Sometimes, vitally important, and I think this example you’re reading right now is a perfect demonstration of the sheer, unmitigated gravity of it all. This story is coming from our tip line (tips@theautopian.com), meaning it was sent in by one of you, the brave and noble Autopians, in this case and Autopian named Jim. Jim had a thought – a powerful, important thought – about a possible F1 scenario, and the deep and profound cultural implications it may have.
Jim is clearly an F1 fan, and, based on the content of his email, I suspect that Jim also has at least a passing interest in The Andy Griffith Show, pork products, and human flatulence. All of these subjects are important to us as well – extremely important – and so his email deserves not to just be acknowledged by the staff of the Autopian, but disseminated to all of you as well.
Before I share with you Jim’s Observation, there’s a bit of background information that needs to be established. In the current Formula 1 season, there are drivers with names like Oliver Bearman, Isack Hadjar, Lewis Hamilton, Pierre Gasley, Andrea Kimi Antonelli. Also, when these driver’s names are shown on the on-screen leaderboards, the names are shortened to three-letter abbreviations, like this:
See how that works? Easy. Now, the other parts you need to understand are that there was an old televisior-show called the Andy Griffith Show, which was about a folksy sheriff in a small North Carolina town and the narrator voice from Arrested Development was a little kid in that show. Also in the show was an older woman named Aunt Bea:
Okay, still with me? Good. Now, the final important component is the knowledge that eating a lot of pork products can cause digestive conditions that can lead to a lot of flatulence. I hope you wrote these down.
The Glorious Email
Now, with that in mind, please enjoy Jim’s tip:
If the top five in an F1 race were Antonelli, Bearman, Hadjar. Hamilton, and Gasley, then the leader board on TV would read Ant Bea Had Ham Gas.
Just take a moment and really let the power of that sink in. As my way of saying thanks to Jim for taking his time to share this with us via an email, here is a visualization of what such a beautiful event like this might look like:
Will this beautiful synergy actually happen? Maybe! It’s possible, after all! And when it does, we Autopians will take it as a Great Sign, a harbinger of maybe the Second Coming Of GM’s Saturn Division or the Great Awakening of the Kei Cars, or something magical like that.
Until then, I just want to thank Jim for taking the time to reach out to us, and share with us his all-important revelations.
(top image: Wikimedia commons, CBS)
Are we not even going to mention the great Gran Prix leader board gag from season 2 of “Archer” Because I feel like we should.
This might have made my week… month?
Might have to put on Andy Griffith now… (shockingly not a boomer)
Aunt Bea: “Opie, pull my finger.”
Opie: “Sure, Aunt Bea!”
[Opie reaches for her finger in slow motion]
[Andy realizes what’s happening and leaps toward Opie in slow motion]
Andy: “NO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!!”
[cut to stock footage of mushroom cloud]
[roll credits]
This absurdity really steams me!
When I find myself in North Carolina
Sheriff Andy comes to me
Speaking with an accent like Aunt Bea
When Jenson Button was ahead of Romain Grosjean and Sergio Perez, the 3-letter names spelled:
But
Gro
Per
Butt groper.
Hmmm…..
Is it just me seeing things, or is the Alpine “A” logo similar to the Autopian “A”?
A little?
Maybe it’s that both legs of the A are angled “back” (if that makes sense?)?
It puts a smile on my face knowing The Autopian makes money off of this.
Membership dollars well spent. In the spirit of transparency, we Autopian readers are blessed with this equally important information about a fantastic and very probable scenario. Information which also came from an Autopian.
This is, I dare say, the golden glazed ham standard for automotive journalism
So it was just a couple of weeks ago or so.
Was tuned into the Andy show.
It must be one of the very first episodes because:
Aunt Bea was on it but her name was not Aunt Bea. Really.
Thought I’d seen all of the shows made but was wrong.
this is good kinj– uh, gravitar?
This is amazing
I love that the last photo has a current era leaderboard over a early 2000’s era race. The cars looked so much better back then.
Also, Jim is doing the lord’s work.
I was just thinking it had been a while since we had any ham content served up.
When these emails come in, does everyone just alert Jason in Slack or do all of you just know he’s gonna be all over it?
It can be very unfortunate when you’re with your elderly aunt at the grocery store the day after Christmas, but she has ham gas, and proceeds to walk down the isle crop-dusting it everywhere. It lingers for many minutes after and any of the customers unfortunate enough to be caught within the miasma notice something smells weird and not at all good. They even give you the stink-eye as the potential source!
“Caught Within The Miasma” is:
Jim is doing fine work out there.
I suppose that’s better than if ANT BEA HAD HAM DOO.
That occurs after the ham gas.
Sometimes in place of it, inadvertently.
Bea has the wrong logo next to her name, Frances Bavier was a loyal repeat Studebaker owner – having been treated well by the local dealer in LA when everyone else “little lady”d her when she went to buy her first new car in the ’30s after her first taste of success. The final-year ’66 Aunt Bee drove in the show was her real car.
I’m coaching a high school baseball team made up of mostly Indian and Chinese kids. We are on a 19 game losing streak and have won 2 games in 2 seasons. Our final game is today against the best team in our league, but this story will make me smile all thru the game. I love this site.
I like that top 5, because Verstappen isn’t in it.
Steamed Hams Gas?
THIS is why I renew my membership.
I would argue this is more important than the so-called “big stories”. This information must be spread far and wide, immediately!
This is brilliant and I’ll be doing this forever with every group I see listed, like Helmet’s Meantime lineup “StaMen Bog Ham.” Thanks for sharing, Jim.
Fantastic humer for a Friday