The Most Delightfully Strange Email We’ve Gotten Recently Is About Formula 1 And ‘Ham Gas’

Today is one of those days where I’m putting off doing the bigger stories I need to do by focusing on smaller ones, but that shouldn’t imply the smaller stories aren’t important as well. Because they are. Sometimes, vitally important, and I think this example you’re reading right now is a perfect demonstration of the sheer, unmitigated gravity of it all. This story is coming from our tip line (tips@theautopian.com), meaning it was sent in by one of you, the brave and noble Autopians, in this case and Autopian named Jim. Jim had a thought – a powerful, important thought – about a possible F1 scenario, and the deep and profound cultural implications it may have.

Jim is clearly an F1 fan, and, based on the content of his email, I suspect that Jim also has at least a passing interest in The Andy Griffith Show, pork products, and human flatulence. All of these subjects are important to us as well – extremely important – and so his email deserves not to just be acknowledged by the staff of the Autopian, but disseminated to all of you as well.

Before I share with you Jim’s Observation, there’s a bit of background information that needs to be established. In the current Formula 1 season, there are drivers with names like Oliver Bearman, Isack Hadjar, Lewis Hamilton, Pierre Gasley, Andrea Kimi Antonelli. Also, when these driver’s names are shown on the on-screen leaderboards, the names are shortened to three-letter abbreviations, like this:

See how that works? Easy. Now, the other parts you need to understand are that there was an old televisior-show called the Andy Griffith Show, which was about a folksy sheriff in a small North Carolina town and the narrator voice from Arrested Development was a little kid in that show. Also in the show was an older woman named Aunt Bea:

Okay, still with me? Good. Now, the final important component is the knowledge that eating a lot of pork products can cause digestive conditions that can lead to a lot of flatulence. I hope you wrote these down.

The Glorious Email

Now, with that in mind, please enjoy Jim’s tip:

If the top five in an F1 race were Antonelli, Bearman, Hadjar. Hamilton, and Gasley, then the leader board on TV would read Ant Bea Had Ham Gas.

Just take a moment and really let the power of that sink in. As my way of saying thanks to Jim for taking his time to share this with us via an email, here is a visualization of what such a beautiful event like this might look like:

Will this beautiful synergy actually happen? Maybe! It’s possible, after all! And when it does, we Autopians will take it as a Great Sign, a harbinger of maybe the Second Coming Of GM’s Saturn Division or the Great Awakening of the Kei Cars, or something magical like that.

Until then, I just want to thank Jim for taking the time to reach out to us, and share with us his all-important revelations.

(top image: Wikimedia commons, CBS)