I have to apologize to my fellow Autopians. When I’m wrong, I say I’m wrong.
A little while back, I lambasted the poor Daewoo-made 1988 LeMans, calling it likely the worst vehicle ever to wear the Pontiac badge. I did a similar sort of hit piece on the Vega-based Astre. Both of these were indeed rather poor vehicles, but at least they had some redeeming characteristics; each of them featured rather attractive styling and offered at least relatively competitive performance for the time.
The real Worst Pontiac Ever had no such values; it was pure, unadulterated crap foisted on the public at a time when the brand had no excuses to offer such garbage. My friends, it’s time to look at the T1000.
This Was The Best The World’s Biggest Car Maker Could Do?
As I often do in these posts, when we’re talking about any car, I like to set the stage for the automotive environment at the time. During the weeks that K.C. and the Sunshine Band were insisting you get down on AM radio (tonight, specifically, and also do a little dance), General Motors was about to release a new subcompact car for Chevy to combat the import onslaught. Boy, did those Europeans ever have some good ones.
In late 1975, European carmakers had started the transition into producing rather advanced, space-efficient, front-wheel-drive cars. The soon-to-be-a-Yugo Fiat 128 debuted in 1969, while Renault followed up with the 5/Le Car in 1972. By far the most popular in the United States was Volkswagen’s new-for-1975 Rabbit, the Giugiaro-designed Mark I Golf that would form the template for modern small vehicles.
General Motors had just put the Toronado mechanicals into a front-drive, six-wheeled motor home, so they were poised to take on this challenge: offer the latest technology to the American people at a great price. Did they do it?
Absolutely not. The new 1976 Chevette subcompact featured mechanical specifications that could have been on a car from the fifties. An inline four (at least it was SOHC) sat longitudinally in front, powering the rear wheels connected to a live axle; at least it had coil springs in back instead of leafs. Naturally, the driveshaft passed through a large tunnel that ate into the meager interior space.
Now, basic specifications aren’t everything. The Chevette could have been styled by Bill Mitchell’s team to be a small car icon inside and out, plus the mechanical components might have been massaged to create a fun-to-drive product.
Again, not the story. The GM “T” platform actually began in late 1973 as the new German Opel Kadett. In this form, with small bumpers and unrestricted powertrains, the “T” car wasn’t cutting edge but not that bad. You can see they even got a four-door notchback sedan that looked rather nice with its composite headlights.
Even the two-door hatch base model had nice detailing, like those thin bumpers, and offered reasonable enough performance.
As with many European cars that made the trip over the pond, a lot got lost in the translation. Five-mile-per-hour bumpers and strangling emissions controls limited the 1.6-liter carbureted four in the Chevette to a mere 60 horsepower. Many were bought with the optional automatic transmission and air conditioning, which likely lowered the already glacial 16.9-second zero to sixty time that Road & Track recorded for a manual four-speed car. Don’t even ask about a fifth gear.
The best part was that GM provided an even more soul-sucking version of this true penalty box of a car. Chevy offered a bargain-basement “Scooter” version with argent grey bumpers instead of chrome, and omitted the glovebox door, carpeting, and back seat.
Now, after the second gas crisis in 1979 and the crippling interest rates and inflation of the time, every division of General Motors cried out for an economical small car with a bargain-basement price. Pontiac wanted something a notch below the J-Car 2000/Sunbird to attract entry-level buyers. In 1979, GM’s Opel launched a new Kadett with a transverse front-wheel-drive powertrain and more modern if not earth-shaking looks. This might have been ideal as a little Pontiac, especially when we saw their later 1983 GTE model designed to compete with the VW GTI.
So, when did GM start selling this new, updated Opel in federalized form? They didn’t; the rear-drive Chevy shove-it lived on, and The General offered this now-five-year-old version of a car that was dated when launched in 1975 to Pontiac for the 1981 model year. See? I told you this would be bad.
The T Stood For Terrible
The very least GM could have done to transform Chevette into a Pontiac is swap in a different grille, and that’s exactly what they did to create the T1000. Just the bare minimum.
Eventually, they did replace the Chevette’s cubic taillights with horizontally ribbed units that added the raciness of a Trans Am to your entry-level subcompact. Behold:
Fully reclining seats were a lavish feature that I’m sure were added only because they were omnipresent on any Japanese cheap car. You also got full instrumentation with a speedometer and a tachometer-style gas gauge. Nothing else.
By 1983, Pontiac had dropped the letter prefixes on their cars, so Pontiac’s version of the Chevette was merely the 1000. At least there was some weight savings for losing a letter off the badge, right?
When people talk about the shame of driving an entry-level car, the T1000 is the perfect case study. Don’t take my word for it, though. How about the opinions of the most positive and nicest guy in the whole world? Yeah, even he hated it.
I Did Send Letters To Owings Mills, Maryland
As a twelve-year-old, you likely couldn’t wait to switch on PBS at least one night a week. No, it wasn’t to watch some snooze-inducing “masterpiece” about nineteenth-century British poets that your snotty parents pretended to like; it was to watch crappy early eighties cars getting beat apart by the greatest personality in automotive history: John Davis. I know that I’m not the only Autopian who would weep uncontrollably if ever put face-to-face with the man who put cars ON OUR TELEVISION SETS for God’s sake. You laugh, but this was a big deal to Stranger Things era kids like us.
John Davis was an honest journalist, but he usually tried to find something (I mean anything) positive to say about even the most miserable sleds his team was given to test. You’ll see from this video that he struggled very hard to do that with the Pontiac T-1000 in 1982.
He starts by complementing the deep chin spoiler and “Euro style” black trim.
However, you just know Honest John can’t lie to us, and things go south very fast. This automatic-equipped 1.6-liter T1000 recorded Motorweek’s slowest zero to sixty time in the admittedly rather short history of the show to that point; it was even slower than the five-speed-equipped, Isuzu-diesel-powered Chevette they’d tested a little bit before. Actually, considering how cars in general got faster during the eighties, I bet that Worst Acceleration Record still stands. By the way, Benzheads: they tested a stick 240D that year, and it still beat that T1000’s 30-second time by eight seconds.
Passing times were also record-breakingly bad. They did mention that up to around 50MPH it wasn’t horrendous, but after that, the three-speed slushbox refused to downshift and the anchor came out.
Wait, it gets worse! Look at the recorded highway miles per gallon. Twenty-five is pathetic, and John is quick to note that cars much larger had generated better figures.
He wasn’t kidding: in ’82 you could have bought a massive palace-on-wheels near-limousine Oldsmobile 98 with the diesel V8 that was rated at 33 MPG highway. We had friends with a similar big diesel Olds, and I can confirm that they regularly got over 25 MPG at a steady 55 in button-tufted opulence. Until the head bolts blew, of course.
The crowning achievement of the little Pontiac Chevette was the price. At the T1000’s base sticker of $5540, you could have bought a number of other cars like a front-drive Tercel (which would be replaced in late 1982 with an all-new but similarly priced car):
Or maybe a twin stick Mitsubishi “Imported for Dodge” Colt:
How about a Mazda GLC, which became a front-drive proto-Golf in 1981?
Any of these would be cool cars to have even today: lots of fun to drive, super reliable, and an order of magnitude better than the T1000. So, you’d think nobody would have bought this little “Pontiac” or its identical Chevy twin, right?
Wrong. Admittedly, the T1000 (later 1000) never sold in big numbers; over 60,000 moved in 1981 but sales quickly dropped. The Chevette, however, found 233,000 homes and was the second-best-selling small car of 1982, just behind the Escort. That’s a drop from the year before, when Chevy sold 433,000 of these clunky old subcompacts. Why did people buy them? That’s a question for the ages, but I think there are a few reasons. First of all, they probably got deals on the Chevette while the Japanese cars sold at a take-it-or-leave-it sticker (or, in the case of Hondas, at thousands of precious dollars above). More importantly, I think more buyers back then insisted on American-made products and never considered imports. Such loyalty should have been rewarded with something other than a car with virtually no redeeming qualities. The fact that people purchased a car that was already dated half a decade before it was introduced gave GM little incentive to spend money to find a better product.
The ‘Vette You Don’t Want
Today, it might be easier to find a coach built Hispano Suiza than a decent-condition Pontiac T1000 or 1000. They were used up and very happily sent to the crusher. When they do appear, like the one below that popped up on Craigslist a while back, they don’t go for much. This 1986 Texas car with 60,000 miles was offered at under $5000.
Even at that low mileage on smooth Texas roads, you can see that the front suspension is shot. But hey, at least it has the one saving grace of any American car: a solid air conditioning system complete with “ball cooler” vents. Switching on the A/C must have made that thirty-second zero to sixty “sprint” even worse, if that’s even possible. At least the 1000 has a glove box door, unlike the Chevette Scooter model, but I’m told the latch is so big that it eats up much of the space inside when shut.
Look at that half-arc sweep on the door panel to match the window winder’s path; that’s almost a styling element. Note that by the time of this late model 1000, any chrome-plated metal had been replaced by plastic.
This thing should be in a museum as a warning to future generations, and to make twentysomething car bloggers who think a Nissan Versa is a “piece of crap” shut the hell up. These kids don’t know pain.
We Never Saw The Vibe Coming, Did We?
Hard to believe as it is, the Chevette and 1000 soldiered on until 1987 with very few changes, finally being replaced as the bottom rungs in the lineups with imported cars like the Suzuki Chevy Sprint and Isuzu Chevy Spectrum. Of course, we never received the German version of the front-drive T-Car; Pontiac got the Daewoo edition of the Kadett at a time when cars from the Korean auto industry were still a bit subpar. I reported on that disgrace to the LeMans name a little while back.
Still, I need to apologize to that car, as well as the diesel 6000LE and an Iron-Duke-powered Firebird. Those underwhelming cars don’t have what it takes to claim the title. There can be only one True Worst Pontiac, and the T-1000 is it. Congratulations, you miserable piece of crap.
Pontiac Points: 20 out of 100
Verdict: There’s a reason the antagonist in Terminator 2 was called T-1000; it’s the worst thing you can imagine on earth.
“Properly tucked in headliner”. God bless you John Davis. This is such faint praise I wonder how GM survived the 70s.
30 seconds! I think one of those Colts would have been fun.
We banned this user, again, for violating our rules, attacking other readers, and constantly spewing hate speech at an author. – Ed.
Just because it’s was liveable doesn’t mean it wasn’t crap. He never said it couldn’t be driven, just that it was the worst of the available options.
The only way the T car could have been redeemed was if we got the Chevette HSR with the big 16 valve engine.
I’m so glad my parents endured the waiting list for a first generation Honda Accord. Those were only a little bit bigger than a Chevette, but the fit and finish and the performance were another world
I had a LeMans hatchback for a week while the ’89 Sunbird I’d bought with 10k miles on it as a senior in high school was sitting with the dealership to get the Pontiac in dash CD player they’d promised me installed. As a nearly brand new car, I didn’t hate the LeMans. It was light enough to feel kind of zippy. Not fast, but not super slow, at least compared to the ’79 V6 Regal I’d had as my first car. I even liked the way it looked at the time. I’ve heard that the LeMans was as durable and reliable as a car made from cardboard, though, which is why you don’t see them today.
Hey that’s an Acadian you hosers.
The T1000 is on the extremely short list of Pontiacs I would consider owning. Love turkeys.
“John Davis was an honest journalist” , I think you mean “John Davis IS an honest journalist” 45 years of motorweek and still going! I write him as my choice for president during each election
The family business had a couple of those Scooters at one point for delivery & pickup. Dad went so far as to remove the passenger seat to make a little more room. The drivers hated those cars.
I worked for PBS for 21 years and had the great pleasure of calling John Davis a friend. He’s as terrific in person and off camera as he appears on the show.
John Davis used to do meet-and-greets at the Baltimore International Auto Show at the Timonium Fairgrounds. When I was like 12 or 13 I got to meet him, shake his hand and he his little intro “we’re glad to have you with us” just dropping your name in there. I was completely starstruck. He was so kind and friendly, it was great. He’s great and I love that people are now appreciating him.
Excellent article and very valid thoughts, but I still have to go with the Daewoo Lemans, if only because it truly sullied the Lemans name and history. Sort of like the last Olds Cutlass/Malibu. Blasphemy!!
As a child of the 70’s and 80’s I fondly remember the small car revolution started by Europe and Japan brought to our shores. The Big 3 never had any real interest in small cars. Ever. Every time they tried to produce something to(cough) compete in that segment it was low effort, poorly designed, engineered and built trash.
The mantra “you can’t make money selling small cars” was so pervasive in the domestic car brands that even my son-in-law, who is 26 years old and sold cars for GM and Dodge until just a year ago once told me the same thing.
Ahhh this was a hit of nostalgia (or trauma?) My family had a 1981 Chevette—dark blue/light blue two-tone paint, which was rather fancy for this car, now that I think about it. When we drove it from Texas to Colorado, we kept it in first gear for almost the entire drive into the mountains. The thing went through three engines, if I recall correctly, and it was my first car when I turned 16. It had an astonishing 383,781.1 miles when my dumb teenage self finally rear-ended a car and killed it. The car’s value? A free tow to the scrap yard. I still have the Chevy badge off the front grill somewhere in a box.
In high school and college I worked summers for my dad at a Pontiac dealership, usually new car prep. Most of these didn’t have air, and the cheap plastic made them smell sort of hot inside all the time. It was pretty unpleasant.. The only saving grace was that some came with a 4 speed, which made driving them slightly less miserable. Nobody wanted them, but apparently we had to order a few of them every month.
My girlfriend drove a rabbit. I drove an old Opel manta. Three cars of similar sizes and genres. 2 were fun and liveable,, and the third was a penalty box of a vehicle.
One thing I remember is if you got one with air, GM didn’t really figure out how to downsize stuff like ac components. When you turned it on, it was like being in a wind tunnel of freezing cold, plastic smelling fan noise.
30 seconds to 60 is really something.
My first car was a VW Polo with a 1047cc engine and four gears, and even that managed 0-60 in 14 seconds or so.
Yes. And that something is a glacier.
My air-cooled Beetle manages 0-60 in around 19 seconds, and I always thought that was glacial.
I did my driver’s training in an automatic Chevette. No AC. In the summer. It was soul sucking, slow to the point of being dangerous in Los Angeles, and miserable in every possible way.
The only upside is that literally every car I have driven since has been better than that POS. And that even includes the terrible Celebrity wagon I shuttled once for an acquaintance.
I mean, my dad’s Sprint with a manual technically had a few fewer ponies, but it was an order of magnitude faster and more fun to drive.
I had an 88 Celebrity Eurosport 2 door in about 2001. I swear that is still the most comfortable car I’ve ever had. Slow, floppy, and rusty, but it sailed down the shitty highways and byways of West Michigan smooth as glass.
I feel sorry for you, the 80 or 81 Buick Skylark I did driver’s ed in was way better. I think the only car I have been in that was as bad as a Chevette was a Hyundai Pony automatic
I am a Gen X kid with a parent who had no less than 5 of these things. All automatics too. No idea why more would have been purchased after that first one. What complete piles of crap.
I say that I will always take a RWD car over a FWD car. These T-cars are the exception.
5. 5? That is an amazing childhood story, my condolences!
Growing up in the home city of Oldsmobile in the 80’s all my friends parents worked for GM. You are spot on about why these turds sold. Nobody bought “foreign” cars. All of the Hondas and Toyotas you all write about, I never saw in those as a kid. I was 15 the first time I ever rode in a Honda and that was 1992.
I lived in Connecticut in the 80s and our next-door neighbor got the Chevette version of this. I can remember driving down a hill with her at the wheel and us four kids in the Chevette. The hill was like one of the slides at the county fair with the potato sack. It was like a succession of small hills all strung together. By the time we got to the third or fourth little hill the front wheels were actually coming off of the ground. She lost her shit, slowed down and came to a stop in the middle of the street. We were all terrified. I’ve never been in a car that had actually bounced itself off of the road.
The Chevette was the first car of my parents I remember. I thought it was tiny and awful back then, and I was 3-4 (they replaced it with a Celebrity when I was around 8).
I have some pretty terrible memories of a Chevette my grandma had. She lived in Albuquerque, New Mexico so yeah it got hot. She was also the world’s cheapest person, monumentally cheap. Eat beans and rice, literally, not buy milk because it was too much that week, take cold showers because it used hot water, heat at 58 at night, tho she used swamp cooler fairly normally… Anyhow, she bought a demo 1983 Chevette in white, red vynil interior, manual, diesel, no AC, no power anything, had no radio, my grandpa added a am/fm cassette player and two speakers in the back (which I thought was badass). She loved to brag how cheap it was and how it had so few miles on it as a demo, yeah I’m sure people lined up to test drive it!
Coasting down some of the long hills she would shift into neutral or sometimes just turn the engine off so no vent fan, just windows open with hot summer air coming in. In traffic it was just plain hot, and smelled like a diesel. She had that car for a while and her monumentally cheap ass even drove it from Albuquerque to Dallas for work a few times. Leaving Albuquerque once it was my grandparents up front and me in the back seat, I remember looking at truckers in parallel because that’s all the power it had going up hills. She has it for years, and eventually sold it to her handyman who had it probably until the late 90s. It was like a cockroach, an unkillable bastard…
There had to have been something mechanically wrong with this example – the 1000 was slow, but it shouldn’t have been slower than a Chevette diesel, the diesel had 14 less hp and weighed 8 lbs more, with a manual transmission. The automatic certainly wasn’t going to do that 1.6 any favors, but I don’t think that’s the whole explanation.
I feel like if your quality is bad enough that you provided MotorWeek an absolute dog, then that’s the published result you deserve.
That was just par for the course for the domestic automakers* back then, they’re lucky they at least got a properly tucked-in headliner and no frayed carpeting
*a possible exception might be American Motors, their AMC Concord review is kind of funny, because you can tell they were fully expecting it to be a steaming pile of outdated garbage, and were genuinely dumbfounded that it was somehow actually decent
When it came out, the Chevette was not a bad car. It was a cheap car and cheap does not equal bad. GM got so burned by the Vega, they needed something inexpensive with tried and true engineering. The Chevette fit the bill. By like 1982, they should have had something more modern and better, yes, but still, the Chevette was never inherently bad.
You forgot to mention the rear drum brakes, which had a tendency to lock up when cold.
Yeah, but the late ’90s – early 2000s Ford Escorts did that, too.