Home » Use An Old Land Rover’s Wipers To Cut A Pizza After Eating Your Shower Spaghetti: COTD

Use An Old Land Rover’s Wipers To Cut A Pizza After Eating Your Shower Spaghetti: COTD


You know what sucks? You’ve used Apple CarPlay to order some Domino’s Pizza and somehow you’ve convinced the poor driver to take their delivery car off-road to your location. You’ve got the pie and you’re about to enjoy what’s nominally “pizza” in front of a sunset in the middle of nowhere. Only, what the heck, someone forgot to cut the thing! What are you going to do now? Thankfully, Land Rover, with the help of Lucas, the Prince of Darkness, has your back.

Earlier today, Jason asked a question about something that has been confusing him. A fantastic 1956 Finnish Fire Service Land Rover Series I showed up to our Autopian One-Year Anniversary Meetup and Group Therapy Session. Jason, being the weirdo he is, seemingly ignored how awesome a Fire Service Land Rover is and fixated on the rig’s weird wipers.

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What you’re looking at are “Lucas Wiper Motor Park Gates,” and their function seems simple enough. They keep wipers from going rogue and crazy by flying off too far in any direction. But why do these exist?

We’ve gotten two good answers here and that means two of you are winners. Arch Duke Maxyenko says:


It’s actually an emergency pizza cutter. Let’s say you’re out in the field and you just got a nice piping hot pie delivered to you, but those lazyass teenagers didn’t properly cut through the crust all the way. Now what are you going to do? It’s easy, simply unbolt the emergency cutter off your windshield and rock it over the uncut sections, then presto, perfectly sliced pizza! This new and improved version you see here is automatically sharpened every time you use your wipers! Call now to order your Safari Pizza Cutter for the low, low price of $19.95! (plus shipping and handling) But wait, if you order within the next 5 minutes, we’ll double your offer and give you 2 Safari Pizza Cutters! (plus additional shipping and handling) So call now and never be without sliced pizza again!

(Arch Duke Maxyenko is a non attorney paid spokesperson and is no way responsible for any and all claims.)

Lucas has really thought of everything! When you’re enjoying a hot pie in the middle of nowhere, just use your wiper arches as a cutter! Brilliant. Now, what to do with the rest of the shower spaghetti…

For a serious answer, Mini Cord said:

Having a Mini Moke with the same wiper motor sans arch, I know exactly hat are they for, and they are brilliant and I need to get me one of those.

These wiper motors have a hand crank, you pull on them and it disengages the gearbox, the unfortunate consequence of doing this is that the wiper blade is free to rotate 360 degrees.

The arch is to stop the wiper blade from going too far in either direction when you are using it manually.

It’s sort of silly, but I know exactly what Mini Cord is talking about here. During the LA Auto Show I often found myself fiddling around with Beau’s microcars. I noticed that a few of them had wipers that could be manually operated, and in their manual operation you could wipe the paint or attempt to wipe the sky. These arches would stop that and keep wiping on the windshield. Also, here’s David and I trapping ourselves in a microcar:

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[Update: Photo added. Can I still blame Kinja for photo oddities?]


Is this the official reason? We don’t know, but it’s a solid explanation. Have a good evening, everyone!

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1 year ago

I’m just going to say that if Domino’s delivers you an unsliced pizza, they have seen your order history. They know you live alone and are gonna eat that whole thing by yourself in one sitting. You are expected to just fold that sucker up and eat it taco-style.

They know you, and they are judging you.

1 year ago

Shower spaghetti shall never die.

What else is on the Autopian menu- bathtub borscht? Dishwasher dill pickles? Lawn mower meringue? Don’t forget the starter-fluid salad and carburetor carbohydrate on the side…

Autopian pop-up restaurant when?

Manuel Verissimo
Manuel Verissimo
1 year ago

Dishwashers are for cleaning car parts. We’re not animals!

Arch Duke Maxyenko
Arch Duke Maxyenko
1 year ago

Yay! COTD!

1 year ago

You done good with that one!

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