VW Once Picked The Absolute Weirdest Numerical Spec To Call Out In A Car Ad

It’s no secret that numbers are a big deal to gearheads. Horsepower, 0-60 times, torque specs, ground clearance, top speed, cubic volume of luggage space, if it can be measured and expressed with a number, chances are that some car-lover has memorized it and is bragging about their particular car’s number to some bored person they have cornered at a party. These numbers are especially important for sporty and performance-oriented cars, where people can get really obsessive about them. Sometimes, these numbers are why people buy a particular car in the first place. That’s why car ads like to tout them so much. And, usually, the numbers those ads tout make sense.

But not always.

I think the most remarkable example of a number touted and showcased in a car ad or brochure that really, genuinely makes no sense has to be in this brochure for the British-market-only Volkswagen GT Beetle. Let’s see if you can spot it:

Before I come out and just tell you what it is, let’s talk a bit about the GT Beetle. These were 1973 model year special edition Beetles, with only 2500 made. They came in Lemon Yellow, Apple Green, or Tomato Red (I’d kind of have guessed a lime green and apple red but maybe the Brits have different default color associations with fruits and vegetables). The GT Beetle was supposed to be a sportier version of the Beetle, and as such came with the biggest, most powerful engine available to Beetles, the 1584cc dual-port engine known as the 1600, which made a ravenous 60 bhp.

In America, this was the only engine sold with Beetles since 1971, but in Europe, you could still get a 1300 Beetle that only made 52 bhp. Oh and those are old-school horsepower numbers, so if you want more context, I wrote about all that before.

There were also special GT Beetle badges for the rear decklid, though it seems those were optional, because if you put them on, it could affect your insurance rates, at least according to legend.

This GT Beetle could make a face-melting 84 mph top speed, and had disc brakes up front to slow down, along with a fancy shifter, center console tray, special upholstery and door cards, sportier hubcap-less wheels, and the new, larger, “elephants foot”-style taillights that were introduced in the 1973 model year.

And that brings us to my favorite numerical spec noted in the brochure, actually brought up twice, which is double the amount of times horsepower or torque are mentioned. Here it is:

80 square inches. That’s the number so important they mention it twice on a two-page spread. It’s the area of taillight lens that the new big light clusters have, described in the brochure as “80 square inches of winker, stop light, and reflector.”

Twice they mention this! Twice! Like taillight lens area is some big thing that gearheads are always going on about. You know how you’re with your friends and you hear the low rumble of a V8 and you see, say, a mint GTO blast on by? And then you watch it go past you, and you squint your eyes and really peer at the rear of the car until you bellow out “holy shit, did you see that? That baby had to have at least 120 square inches of taillight lens area back there!” and then you get so worked up you have to retreat behind a fire hydrant and furtively pleasure yourself until you can hold a rational thought again. We’ve all been there, right?

It’s such a bonkers thing to point out in a brochure for a sporty car. Or, really any car. It’s just not something that anyone has ever actually demanded to know about a car. Who was asking for those numbers? Oh, and even better, the numbers are sort of deceptive! That’s because the GT Beetle didn’t come with the reverse lamps (clear section at the base of the taillight) wired up!

Now, to be fair, they don’t mention reverse lights in the description of what those 80 inches cover – it’s just winker, stop light, and reflector mentioned – but since those taillights have the lens area for the lights, and they’re mentioned so prominently, VW Britian actually had to put these disclaimer stickers on the brochures:

Those say: “ERRATUM: Please note: Reversing lights are not included as standard on any Beetle model” though you could get them as an option. I still think it’s weird they had the lenses there, but nothing behind them? There were these large elephants foot taillight lenses available without the clear section at the bottom, too, if they really cared about honesty:

But they didn’t use those, even though those would be 80 square inches as well. Actually, considering that the lower clear area really shouldn’t count in those 80 square inches if there’s no bulb behind it, maybe the number itself isn’t really accurate!

There were other ads for the GT Beetle that decided that maybe the square inches of taillight area weren’t as important:

Radials, cloth upholstery, 1600 engine, those all did make the cut, at least. But there is one more taillight-related bit of weirdness in the GT Beetle advertising:

See this ad? That’s a pretty good cartoon rendering of the GT Beetle, but there is one notable issue: those are North American taillights! Look here:

See how the drawing divides the middle section vertically? Only the US-spec lights did that, as US-spec lights had a differently shaped retroreflector, and separate bulbs for stop and taillight, where the global version used one double-filament bulb.

80 square inches, though! Sure, modern sporty-marketed cars may be more powerful, faster, quicker, safer, more comfortable, efficient, and, well, pretty much everything else, but how many square inches of taillight do they have?

Probably more, also. But I’d still take a GT Beetle.