Home » Wait Until You See What’s Under That Ghastly Russian EV: COTD

Wait Until You See What’s Under That Ghastly Russian EV: COTD

Russian Car Amber
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Every once in a while, an automaker puts out something that just makes you stop in your tracks before questioning, well, everything. Look, we’re pro-car here, so we’ll champion anything with wheels and even ones that don’t have wheels. That’s why we still wish the makers of the Aitekx Robotruck luck in their endeavors even though their prototype has the sort of build quality expected from a middle-schooler’s art project.

The Moscow Polytechnic University now joins the ranks of those who have built something that makes you go “but why?” rather than “ahh.” Thomas wasn’t as nice about the Amber:

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

It looks like Postman Pat’s red van had angry sex with a G-Wiz, and nine months later, the end result hit every branch of the ugly tree on the way down. It has a panicked face, massive ungainly unbroken surfaces on each bodyside, and it elicits a ton of questions. Why does it sit on its wheels like a wooly mammoth on roller skates? Why does it have two holes on the right side of the body? Why is the bottom of each door two feet off the ground? Did anyone with eyes actually sign off on the styling of the Amber?

Anyway, you may wonder what the heck is under whatever is going on, and the Autopian has some eagle-eyed readers out there.  It’s hard to tell who said it first, but 488Magnum, Lankyloon, and Cooper McDade all win COTD today for pointing out that the greenhouse, doors, mirrors, and part of the fender look suspiciously close to the Lada Vesta.

Here, take a look at the Vesta:

Vladimir Putin Driving Lada Vest
Kremlin.ru – That’s a serious freaking attribution!

And the Amber:

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It’s unclear just how much of the Lada went into this thing, but it looks like a significant portion. Also, are those 4-inch aftermarket motorcycle headlights from Amazon? Why didn’t they go with 7-inch lights? Sadly, we also don’t have an explanation for the pins next to the tow hooks or why there are two gaping holes in the side of this thing.

Other readers provided plenty of laughs. A fourth COTD nomination goes to RataTejas for this joke:

An Amber engineer arrives at customs. He carries two very large and heavy suitcases. On his wrist is a new Russian-made watch. He tells the customs man: “This is a new Russian watch. It’s a wonder unknown in other countries. You see, it shows time, the rate of your pulse beats, the phases of the Moon, the weather in Warsaw, Moscow, and New York, and more and more!”
“Yes, it’s a wonder,” the customs man agrees. “And what is it you have in these big suitcases?”
“Oh, it’s just the batteries for that watch.”

That big ass battery pack/floor reminds me so much of this joke.

Have a great evening everyone!

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Urban Runabout
Urban Runabout
3 months ago

Why does it have two holes on the right side of the body?”

The rear hole has a screw-cap on it.
It’s clearly for the electrical plug from your own house.

The other hole has an invisible cap on it – which is clearly (literally) for a secondary electrical plug.
For faster charging.
Using a cord from your neighbor’s house.

“I am the Machine!”

Last edited 3 months ago by Urban Runabout
Wuffles Cookie
Wuffles Cookie
3 months ago

*Puts on fire suit*

You know what- fuck it. It’s ugly, but I don’t hate the way this thing looks. It’s friendly. It’s not trying to look like it’s angry or squinting or in a really forced smile showing too much teeth.

It’s why I like the front fascia of Rivians- every other truck on the road is trying to look SUPER BUFF MANLY MACHO XTREME AGRESSIVE, and the front of the Rivian just looks a bit like a Pixar character.

I’m pretty sure there is a small but measureable increase in overall driver aggression and risky driving that comes from driving an angry looking vehicle- we should have more friendly vehicles.

Last edited 3 months ago by Wuffles Cookie
Not The Ford 289
Not The Ford 289
3 months ago

I still don’t quite know why I remember what Lada Vesta doors look like, the closest I’ve ever been to Russia was somewhere along Oregon’s beaches.
And I will say, Lankyloon said “Lada Vesta” 43 seconds before I did.

Last edited 3 months ago by Not The Ford 289
Tbird
Tbird
3 months ago

The bottom heaviness and wheel arches still give me Pontiac Aztec vibes.

Barry Allen
Barry Allen
3 months ago

I just figured out what it is that bothers me about this car: beyond looking like Peppa pig, this thing looks embarrassed to be alive. Like the pudgy kid forced to go to the swimming pool, it just wants to crawl into a hole and be left alone.

Lankyloon
Lankyloon
3 months ago

I do feel a little bad for the group of undergrads who undoubtedly did their best on this capstone project with a shoestring budget, just for their project sponsor to swoop in and co-op it as their “production prototype” to show that they too are working on futuristic EVs. But only a little, this thing is hilarious

Rafael
Rafael
3 months ago

I found more images of it here (please prepare the eye bleach):
https://evon.ru/podrobnosti-pro-rossijskij-elektromobil-amber-ot-avtotor-i-mospoliteha/
They swear this is just a mule, and there’s some weird stuff going on behind the rear quarter panels.

Pupmeow
Pupmeow
3 months ago
Reply to  Rafael

From the article: “we have left globalization and it turns out that we need to resolve issues with components.”
Yes. Issues with components. And raw materials. And design skills …

Morgan Thomas
Morgan Thomas
3 months ago

For an explanation of the pins beside the tow hooks, note the little dimples in the panelwork near the bottom corners of the windscreen – these seem to have pins in them as well. I suspect taking off these 4 pins lets you lift off that whole front end, which is probably a fibreglass part.

Phantom Pedal Syndrome
Phantom Pedal Syndrome
3 months ago

It was six men of Moscow, to learning much inclined,
who went to see the elephant (Though all of them were blind),
that each by observation, might satisfy his mind.

The first approached the elephant, and, happening to fall,
against his broad and sturdy side, at once began to bawl:
“God bless me! but the elephant, is nothing but a wall!”

The second feeling of the tusk, cried: “Ho! what have we here,
so very round and smooth and sharp? To me tis mighty clear,
this wonder of an elephant, is very like a spear!”

The third approached the animal, and, happening to take,
the squirming trunk within his hands, “I see,” quoth he,
the elephant is very like a snake!”

The fourth reached out his eager hand, and felt about the knee:
“What most this wondrous beast is like, is mighty plain,” quoth he;
“Tis clear enough the elephant is very like a tree.”

The fifth, who chanced to touch the ear, Said; “E’en the blindest man
can tell what this resembles most; Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an elephant, is very like a fan!”

The sixth no sooner had begun, about the beast to grope,
than, seizing on the swinging tail, that fell within his scope,
“I see,” quothe he, “the elephant is very like a rope!”

And so these men of Moscow, disputed loud and long,
each in his own opinion, exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right, and all were in the wrong!

So, oft in theologic wars, the disputants, I ween,
tread on in utter ignorance, of what each other mean,
and prate about the elephant, not one of them has seen!

Back to the drawing room comrades!

Last edited 3 months ago by Phantom Pedal Syndrome
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