Sometimes it certainly seems like the week is becoming full of Mondays lately. Last Friday, my clothes dryer caught on fire. Then, I’d go on to blow the Autopian’s Nissan Murano CrossCabriolet’s front shocks doing a big jump. I also caught a cold of some kind and broke two garage doors. I’m pretty good at keeping myself happy enough, but gee, the world’s been throwing some curveballs lately. But hey, no matter how bad your week is, at least it’s not as bad as Jaguar’s current existence.
Friday’s Morning Dump was about the ways automakers have put happy faces on terrible earnings reports. Here’s what Matt wrote about Jaguar:
It could be worse, Jaguar Land Rover has my absolute favorite line in a press release:
Q4 wholesale volumes increased 61.1% compared to Q3 FY26, reflecting a return to normal production levels following the cyber incident.
JLR is on a different fiscal year, and what the company is saying here is that the company is doing better than when it literally couldn’t build cars. Sweet!
Eric Davis:
I’ve never gotten here early enough to leave a witty comment until now, and the first time I do I can’t think of anything good to say.
SAABstory:
Hey, you’re still doing better than Jaguar.
Cheap Bastard:
TBQ: Studebaker.
They only need to sell one vehicle to claim infinite YOY growth.
Bags:
Also Dodge’s goal for the Hornet.
Mechjaz:
Oof, that stings.
Have a great Monday!
Top graphic image: Jaguar
Sorry Mercedes, but a bad day is more like having drones and missiles rain down on your home all night or having a loved one carted off to a deportation jail.
“Bad” is way lower on the day scale than you present it to be.
From. Best to Worst on the day scale:
Best > amazing > excellent > great > good > fair > OK > not so good > poor > bad > pretty bad > really bad > terrible > horrible > Worst.
Your only son dying of dysentery would rank as “worst”. Mercedes really bad no good weekend falls safely in the” really bad” range.
Wait, if this is about Jaguar why is there an older Kia Sportage in the topshot?
The Jag broke down.
Poor Mercedes!!! I hope the dryer didn’t cause too much damage. My most recent appliance meltdown was a 19-year-old oven; the baking element finally went in a spectacular fashion that left a section of it melted. (It has since been cleaned and repaired.)
I have since rebuilt the dryer and put it back into service. This isn’t the first time it’s died (but is the first fire) and I refuse to let it stay dead.
There’s a non-zero chance the fire was lint-related. I wasn’t aware that lint builds up outside of the drum or the hose, so I gave it a full cleaning, too.
The past couple of days have also been a bit rough on me, but this COTD gave me a good LOL! Thanks!
Honestly, that did make me feel a little better.
I at first thought ‘cyber incident’ referred to that tragic reveal of whatever they called that retro new-age blocky thing they were pivoting to.
Then the shoe dropped. But I rather like my first take
I felt bad for being mean towards Jaguar, then I remembered their new direction.
I feel bad getting a COTD at Dodge’s expense, because of how little effort it takes. Or roughly the same amount of effort they’ve put into their current lineup.
Sometimes the low hanging fruit is the only fruit available. Such is the case with Dodge.
Yep.
They are the truck nuts of auto makers.
This merits a COTD nomination
Well done