For today’s Showdown, we’re going to take a look at two related, similar, but very different cars. They’re the same year, and the same platform, but with different engines, transmissions, and number of doors. They’re both beat to hell outside, and kind of nice inside.
Yesterday’s matchup wasn’t even a contest, nor should it have been. The Honda Accord was the obvious choice. It’s cheaper, it’s a better car, and it’s a lot more enjoyable to drive. Don’t get me wrong; I’d love to see that Mercury Lynx, and maybe take it for a spin, but there’s no way I’d actually want to own it. Especially not for that price.
I used to have an Accord of about the same vintage (mine was an ’84 if I remember right) and I really enjoyed it, at least until it got so rusty that it was unsafe to drive. Without the interference from the tin worm, I have no doubt that mine could have reached half a million miles or more like this one. It ran like a top all the way to the junkyard.
Some cars used to be absolutely everywhere, then suddenly when you weren’t looking, they were gone. The Chevy Beretta and Corsica fall into that category. When was the last time you saw either one of them on the road? And yet, twenty years ago, they were so ubiquitous you didn’t even give them a second glance. When I found one of each, of the same year, in similar condition, for close to the same price, I knew it had to be a sign. Let’s check them out.
1991 Chevrolet Beretta GTZ – $1,800
Engine/drivetrain: 3.1-liter OHV V6, three-speed automatic, FWD
Location: Macomb, MI
Odometer reading: 90,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
My mom had a Chevy Beretta, and she got it for a very specific reason. She used a wheelchair; she could stand for brief periods but not walk as a result of injuries from a car crash. She didn’t drive for years, but when she decided to get back behind the wheel, the last thing she wanted was a van. So instead, we went shopping for two-door coupes, with the idea that she could use her folding wheelchair and slip it behind her seat. We tried that trick in a lot of showrooms, with a lot of bemused salespeople looking on, and we found only one car in her price range that had long enough doors to make room for the wheelchair, and was also easy to add hand controls to: the Beretta.
This Beretta is quite a bit fancier than Mom’s was, but it has the same drivetrain: GM’s stalwart 3.1 liter V6 and TH125C three-speed automatic. This is a GTZ, which means the standard engine would have been a Quad 4 with a five-speed stick, which would have been a lot more fun. Someone paid extra for the V6 and the automatic to make this car slower and less interesting. It has had a bunch of recent work done, and it runs and drives just fine; it’s just less entertaining than it could have been.
This was originally a Florida car, so it has seen a lot of sunshine. And when you look at the dashboard, you can tell. The whole right side is bubbled and cracked from the sun. Maybe it should have had one of those carpet cover thingies on it. The rest of the interior looks good, and from the looks of it, the GTZ got much nicer seats than the base model did.
The left front fender is bashed in, and it has a mismatched steel wheel on that corner, which tells me it was a hard enough hit to ruin one rim. And good luck finding another GTZ wheel in white. But it isn’t rusty, so that’s something.
1991 Chevrolet Corsica LT – $2,000
Engine/drivetrain: 2.2-liter OHV inline-4, five-speed manual, FWD
Location: Palmer, AK
Odometer reading: 81,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
The Beretta sold pretty well for a two-door; Chevy moved 900,000 of them over the course of a decade. But four-doors always sell better than two-doors, which is probably why everything has four doors now. The Corsica, sister model to the Beretta, sold 1.6 million examples in the same time period. That’s two and a half million of these things together; where the hell have they all gone? Well, this one has been plying the roads of Alaska for the past thirty years.
The standard engine in both the Beretta and the Corsica was the 2.0 (later 2.2) liter four-cylinder from the Cavalier, available with either a three-speed automatic or a five-speed manual. This one has the rarely-seen manual, and the seller says it runs and drives “fantastic.” For some reason, however, the shift lever has been replaced by a large open-end wrench. It’s kind of a cool look, but I’d like to know the story behind it.
The seller calls the interior of this car “incredibly nice,” which seems like a bit of a stretch. The upholstery is in good shape, and the dash top looks a hell of a lot better than the Beretta’s, but that carpet is toast. But maybe in Alaska you just can’t keep the carpet in a car nice. It has an aftermarket stereo with Bluetooth, which is a nice upgrade. Chances are the old stock Delco stereo would have conked out by now anyway.
Most Corsicas were traditional four-door sedans, but for a couple of years this liftback version was available too. You don’t see many of them, and the combination of the liftback with the manual transmission must be rare indeed. Too bad it took a hit in the left rear corner. Luckily it was not hard enough to break the rear window; I don’t know where you’d find a replacement for that. But it was enough to brand the title, if that matters to you.
Cars like these are still around, and you even see them for sale once in a while – usually for wildly inflated prices these days. These two are reasonably priced, due to the fact that they’re a bit banged-up, no doubt. No Radwood shows for these two, but either one would make an interesting beater. Which format would you rather have: a coupe with a V6 and an automatic, or a four-door hatchback with a stick?
Oooh… a Corsica hatchback with a manual.
That gets my vote.
Also the owner of that Beretta looks like they make poor life choices with the dent in the fender and them replacing the wheel with a steelie painted white and being too cheap to get a used OEM wheel from an auto recycler.
Plus one thing I know about these is that slushbox is under-specc’d for the V6 and were known to fail before hitting 100,000km if you drove it hard.
Tough choice – should I describe the Corsica’s price as “aspirational” or “delusional”?
The Beretta isn’t a nice car, isn’t a particularly good deal, and I don’t want it, but it is clearly the better choice. In this price range, condition is all that matters. The Beretta is ugly. The Corsica is scrap.
Both of these strongly repulsed me in different ways. Beretta has a bubbled dash and a fender to match. The Corsica might make a good hauler, but the basic specs and damaged taillight are not great. I always liked the look of the Beretta. I guess I could figure out something interesting to do with it.
I love a manual trans, but I think that wrench would bug me to no end.
Corsica, as another commenter suggested it would be fun to fly to Alaska and road trip back across the Alcan. A wheezy v6 and 3 spd automatic sound extremely boring and I would never love the Beretta enough to maintain it, let alone fix some of its flaws. At least with the Corsica once I buy a one way ticket its my only hope to make it home.
Let me dig up my old Alpine 7000, and lets get this berretta back on the road to rad!
Beretta for the taillights alone.
At least mount the wrench shifter with the box-end up! That’s a stab in the hand with every shift!
How the hell you shiftin’, Hoss?
Imma beat that Corsica like it owes me money.
the light bar on the bumper tells me someone already started!
I didn’t start it, but BY GAWD I’m gonna FINISH IT.
I spent some time in a (clean, maintained, owned forever) Beretta back in February and thanks but no thanks, thank you though, but positively unequivocally no thanks.
The only positive for the Corsica is the built in excuse for an Alaskan Highway adventure going to get it.
The negatives are everything else when you get it home.
The Beretta isn’t great, but it’s at least a V6 and looks nice.
Oh I’m putting Pizza cutter all terrain tires on it, making some suspension spacers, and we’re gonna SEND IT down that highway.
Missed a perfect opportunity for a “both” vote here. The Corsica is the parts car that Beretta needs. Grab the quarter panel, the dash pad, swap the manual and have an awesome Beretta.
I hadn’t thought of this, but it sure seems like the correct answer.
A Corsican with a Beretta, Hired Killer Edition.
Or a vote or “neither.” Boy, two grand don’t get ya shit any more.
You lost me at “awesome Beretta.” Up until then I thought you were making a valid point.
Did you mean “adequate Beretta” by any chance?
I’m on team ‘Neither’ option for these.
Even after you kludge both cars together into something unholy (with the massive suffering that disassembling will entail for the rusty Corsica and the general misery of removing two dashboards), you end up with a late ’80s/early ’90s GM mediocrity mobile and you lose both money and precious lifespan you could have done something else with.
I was thinking this, either or will be a good parts car and a good base.
not just sportier looking, it is still sportier than a 4 door manual with only 95 hp. not that the V6 is that much more, but still, it is.
Tired Office meme: they’re the same picture
Ah, Italy.
Home of le dolce vita, unmistakable style, taste, and bespoke craftsmanship, if not durability.
Then these: packaged spaghetti and cheapest ‘Great Value’ red sauce from Wal-Mart in Des Moines, IA.
Beretta, just because it’s not rusty.
The Beretta has those trick pillar-hidden door handles, which is pretty slick. My practical side says go for the Corsica, however. With the five speed and the 2.2 it should deliver mid-30s on the highway; that’s not bad.
It was a halfway handsome model especially coming from GM, but like the article says: all of a sudden, they all just disappeared. For good reason, too, because nothing about this car really sticks out. It’s forgettable.
I voted, but I don’t really care which way I voted. I miss these cars, but only because I miss being 24.
I’ll take the nicer, cheaper one. You could plant a garden on the floorboards of the four-door.
I only voted because I don’t believe in not voting.
That’s all I have to say about this matchup.
We have 2 cars, one spent it’s life in the south with a great finish and No chance of rust, and another from Alaska with tape for rear lenses in one of the toughest environments it can live in. Which to choose…
THIS.
Cars in Alaska are beat up and typically held together with ‘frontier will and bailing wire’. It’s possible to keep a car there forever – in the same way that those broccoli crowns in your freezer are ‘still good’. This plus leaving a car running from October to April so that it doesn’t freeze solid are major turn offs for the Corsica.
At least the Beretta will actually come apart without turning every fastener into a puddle of slag.
Look, I know a Beretta won’t hit like a brick through a plate glass window, and I can hear the “whargarbl” of that 3.1 just looking at the photos, no-one makes a car called the “Walther PPK,” and I might at least have a chance of making that car look nice, since fenders are replaceable if you can find one.
That Corsica, stick and all, was hit in the wrong spot. It’s good for spending its last days as a winter beater and little else. Maybe a rallyX, (SCCA cone course, obviously) Lemons, or if it’s too far gone underneath for a cage, FWD derby car.
While a 5-speed with a wrench shifter does hold some appeal, I definitely prefer a 2-door vehicle over a 4-door. My wife used to own a Corsica with the automatic, and a friend used to own what he called “The Burrito” with the Quad-4 and a 5-speed.
I choose the Burrito today.
It’s gonna be the Corsica for me, and straight to my local fab wizard to install a cage and fire suppression system. I’ll be ready for Lemons by October!
Wait, I didn’t think about the Gambler 500. Can I change my vote?
I don’t think you can change it, but no one is stopping you from voting a second time.
Back in the 90’s in one of my stretches of nearly constant travel, the company I worked for always rented from Avis. I don’t know how many Corsica’s I drove back then. I’d give the manual transmission one a shot sice the rental fleet was all automatics. I remember one week when a bunch of us were in the same hotel, I went out to get in my rental and had to put the key in 4 Corsica doors before I finally found the correct white Avis Corsica for my key.
Corsica, just for the weirdness of it.
It’s surprising with how popular both of these were back in the day that they only got one generation.
I had a 90 Beretta GT back around 93-94 until 97 when a rod in my Camaro was leaving the chat. It wasn’t bad but it wasn’t great either. Rear drum brakes had a minor crack that only showed under heat, took forever to diagnose the thumping noise. Door panels falling apart already.
The Corsica was a mainstay of our loaner fleet at the dealership in 91-92. Damn things seemed to last forever, but I could not deal with that wrench.
I think I’ll revisit the Beretta even with the auto. It’s cheap.
Nothing like naming a real POS poser sport coupe after an Italian firearm with a long standing reputation for reliability and craftsmanship.
Beretta anyway for the easy torque of the V6 and the intact rear taillights. I don’t want to hunt up a junkyard light only to find I can’t install it due to the body damage. If it wasn’t for that, I’d go for the Corsica.