Good morning! It’s a new week, and a new month, and for this week I’m getting back to basics and reinstating the $2,500 price cap. Let’s dig around in the dirt a bit and see what we can find. Today, I’ve come up with a pair of sedans: a Dodge covered in the Caped Crusader’s logos, and a Chevy that did time as a campus patrol vehicle.
Friday’s runoff included the short week’s three winners, plus a Geo Storm you hadn’t seen yet. A lot of you wanted to pick the Storm, despite its astronomical mileage, but were put off by the cigarette burns on the seat. The Nissan truck took the win, which wasn’t surprising, but the Alfa Romeo Milano came in second, which kind of was.
For me, out of that particular quartet, it’s the Storm, hands down, no question, smoke smell be damned. I’ll replace the seats if I have to. I’d try to talk them down a grand or so on the price, but the Storm is one of only a handful of cars that I still really would like to own.

Now then: Ex-cop cars aren’t really all that cool, unless they’re extremely old, or you’re putting the band back together. Are superhero-themed cars cool? Not really, unless you ask an eight-year-old their opinion, then maybe. But what if they’re both reasonably comfortable, reasonably reliable sedans being sold for cheap? Still not cool, but maybe worth considering as cheap beaters. Let’s take a look and see.
1996 Dodge Intrepid – $2,350

Engine/drivetrain: 3.3-liter OHV V6, four-speed automatic, FWD
Location: Coral Springs, FL
Odometer reading: 103,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
Eagle-eyed readers will have already noticed that this car is not, strictly speaking, a Batmobile. The clues are subtle, but they are there: first, it’s white, unlike all the real Batmobiles which are black, and second, it is in fact just a base model Dodge Intrepid with some stickers on it. As cosplays go, this is about as low-effort as those plastic Halloween costumes they used to sell at K-Mart.

That’s not to say it’s a bad car; the first-generation Intrepid was good-looking, comfortable, and a hell of a step up from the boxy Dynasty it replaced. It’s just not a very good Batmobile. It features a 160 horsepower 3.3-liter V6 and a four-speed automatic, enough to get around just fine, but not really up to high-speed pursuits through the mean streets of Gotham. It’s highly unlikely that it will lose a wheel, but the Joker is most definitely getting away. The good news is that it runs and drives great, and has just had the whole front end rebuilt.

I have to give them credit for committing to the bit, though: it has Batman-themed seat covers, floor mats, and a steering wheel cover. But wait, what’s this last line in the ad? “Batman stuff not included?” Lame. Oh well. At least it has a new air conditioning compressor that “blows snow cones,” according to the seller.

The decals are apparently coming off before the sale, too, so if you want to keep up the Batman theme, you’ll need to make friends with someone who owns a vinyl cutter. Or, I suppose if Batman isn’t your thing, you could add stickers for any number of other superheroes. But what would be more fitting for a white Dodge Intrepid? I await your suggestions in the comments.
2006 Chevrolet Impala 9C1 – $2,450

Engine/drivetrain: 3.9-liter OHV V6, four-speed automatic, FWD
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Odometer reading: 55,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
For most of the late ’90s and ’00s, there was only one police car that really mattered: the Ford Crown Vic Police Interceptor. The last of the burly, body-on-frame, V8-powered sedans was a favorite of police departments everywhere. Chevy tried to compete with a series of front-wheel-drive sedans, but they were never as popular, and were often relegated to less strenuous law-enforcement duties, like campus patrol.

This 9C1-package Impala has just 55,000 miles on it, which might sound low at first, but if it’s anything like the Dodge Spirits used by campus security at my college, it spent a lot of time sitting around idling, or driving slowly around parking lots. It runs and drives well, and has been well-maintained, but it could probably use some highway exercise. The engine is a 3.9-liter V6, an evolution of the old 60-degree V6 that dates back to the Chevy Citation, but this one has variable cam timing and puts out a whopping 242 horsepower.

Even though it was only used for parking enforcement and busting underage drinking, it is (or was) a fully-equipped cop car. The rear seat is plastic, and it has a divider between the front and rear. All the radio equipment and whatnot has been removed from the console in the front, leaving a bunch of gaping holes. You can de-cop it using junkyard parts; there are plenty of Impalas around, but it’s going to take some work.

It’s a little harder to do anything about the outside. That black-and-white paint job is never going to look like anything other than a cop car. And it looks like they just painted over some of the vinyl graphics instead of removing them. To make matters worse, rust is starting to creep in around the corners. A bunch of Batman stickers are looking pretty good right about now, aren’t they?
Cosmetics aside, these are both pretty solid cars. Twenty-five hundred bucks isn’t much to spend on a car these days, but honestly, I think you could do worse than either of these. Which one would you trust?









Intrepid for me. I have good memories of the ’95 ES my dad had.
Little nitpick: I wouldn’t say the Intrepid replaced the Dynasty, per se. As Dodge’s volume midsizer, it was more a replacement for the Spirit.
Ehhh I think the Spirit is more aligned with the Stratus. Dynasty/Intrepid, Spirit/Stratus, Shadow/Neon is how I see these successions. There was no larger car than the Dynasty/New Yorker when those were being put out.
that’s correct. The K-derived Dynasty and New Yorker were platform mates and they were replaced with the LH-based Intrepid and New Yorker.
Spirit and Stratus are much closer in size and price point as well
Intrepid for me. I have good memories of the ’95 ES my dad had.
Ine nitpick: I wouldn’t say the Intrepid replaced the Dynasty, per se. As Dodge’s volume midsizer, it was more a replacement for the Spirit.
No. Just no.
A choice between Florida Man’s dumb ass decoration ideas, or a “wanna be” make believe cop car?
Chevy is beyond disgusting.
Mopar is just Florida man stupid.
NFW.
Both are crack pipe levels of crap here…
That Chevy is gross. Un-Batmobile for today.
Stayed out of this one because I already have a 2004 Impala 9C1. Currently off the road because everyone else in the family is too embarrassed to drive it except me. But I have twin girls turning 16 soon so it’s coming back. It’s a good car to learn on and perhaps smack into a tree. Can’t use it for their road test though because it doesn’t have an accessible e-brake for the poor RMV road tester.
I’m walkin.
https://youtu.be/PaPYuUMLFIM
Thinking about my life at the moment, the last thing I need to add to it is one of these two cars. So, I’d pick ‘neither’ were there such a choice.
But since there isn’t, I’ll go with the campus cop car. 55Kmiles, even for mid-aughts GM, is too low to pass up.
I’m not sure I’d be able to get the smell of beer/fireball/vodka puke outta that Chevy, so it’s the Intrepid by default.
Of these two, the Insepid I guess.
Think I’m just going to dissolve backwards into the shrubbery in a rather Homer-esque form and abstain from voting because both options suck.
This is pretty much a “neither” day as the only ex-cop car I’d want would be a Crown Vic or a Mustang. Given that “neither” is not a choice, I’m going for the Batmobile. I just can’t vote for the godawful interior of the Impala (couldn’t they have at least vacuumed?), even if it’s a better car overall.
My son’s first car was a Concorde. Everything about the design of that powertrain wasn’t hot garbage, it was boiling cesspool. The best part about it was the chipped glass transmission, because the previous owner had been doing transmission flushes every 10k miles. Things I remember included.
A coolant leak under the intake manifold gallery. What we found was that there was a complex tube under the intake and it had O-rings that got cooked and stared leaking, filling the void between the intake and engine with coolant. What we found next was that the tubes had rusted out and were brazed into brackets and the only possible solution was JB weld and hope.
No inner tie rods, but these weird rubber grommets that sat on top of the transmission. They got damaged from the coolant leak and the heat of the engine and the only way to properly replace them was to drop the powertrain because there wasn’t room to get them completely off because the bolt hit the floor plane before coming off.
The battery behind the front wheel. I thought it wouldn’t be that bad. But it was when that area got rusted because the battery leaked.
Everything about that engine was a nightmare. Vacuum hoses that went under things that would start to leak and require half the top end to be removed. Not sure how he did it, but my son managed to have the engine skip time (tensioner on timing chain?) and it killed the engine.
The Car was GIVEN to me and I still feel ripped off.
Haha yes. Dodges of this period had the battery behind the driver’s front wheel I believe. My dad owned a Stratus. When he discovered this… well the language was colorful.
Both first and second gen Intrepids had absolutely shit transmissions. So no surprises there. It’s too bad, those cars looked great but the quality was garbage.
I would take the Chevy mainly because of it being newer, lower miles and having way more power. And I’d then remove the barrier between the back seat and front and also look for a regular back seat from a junk yard.
For some unknown reason (my stupidity probably) I always thought that the plastic back seat in the back of cop cars was installed over the original seat. But what you say makes much more sense. 🙂
Transmission replacement or dried vomit under the seat?Not much to pick from today!!!
Which would I trust? Neither. But given the rules of the game, I guess I’ll be a little more Intrepid.
I grew up riding in my dad’s used cop cars. He’d buy them for his business (and for family use) because they had the cop motor, cop tires, cop shocks etc… we got 300,000 miles out of his 72 Ford Ranch Wagon, and had a good run with his 1984 Crown Vic, which was an ex RCMP car.
So, Impala for me. This decision is bolstered by the fact that those Impalas are notoriously tough. The Intrepids are notoriously not.
The Intrepid is in better condition, so that is my choice.
I’ll take Florida Batman’s old Intrepid. Hell, I’d offer the full price if the Batman livery were included. You might as well lean into the craziness.
The Impala that looks like it patrolled parking lots at SeaWorld doesn’t have long to live. That rust on the body rail at the front passenger side is terminal.
It’s in Wisconsin. 6-year-old cars look like this. It’s good for another 15 years, just ask David Tracy!
Besides, the more rusted metal that falls off, the lighter the car becomes. And with the 242 hp. 3.9, it will only become quicker with time.
It probably still has a year in it, but with that much structural rust its next speed bump could be its last. Though I guess that also depends on if Wisconsin does any kind of safety inspections. I see cars here in Michigan with structural failure that leaves them looking like a dog trying to scratch its anus on the carpet all the time.
My 2010 pickup looks way worse than that Impala and I’m hoping to get at least another 4-5 years out of it and it doesn’t really even have any rocker panels anymore.
No safety inspections in Wisconsin. Anyone know what the button is on the middle of the steering wheel in the Intrepid?
It looks like something added on, maybe for an aftermarket stereo? I don’t think even Dodge in the 90s would have placed something like that between the driver’s face and the airbag.
Yeah good point.
Those plastic seats are really uncomfortable when you’re hand cuffed.
Please elaborate
Of course I take your word for it Bob, but having watched untold hundreds if not thousands of cop cam videos on Youtube, I can report that less than 10% of arestees complain about the seat. More than half complain about the cuffs themselves. About 30% swear they ‘didn’t do nuffin.’
I only have to start brewing my own beer in the garage to complete the middle-aged white guy stereotype.
Tough choice today. My first inclination is to go for the Impala since ex cop cars can be fun for pranking purposes. However, this thing is crappy enough I’m not sure anyone is going to believe it. There is no way I would stop if someone tried to pull me over in a car like this – that has to be a kidnapping, right? Plus, the interior is disgusting.
I would like to see the Intrepid without all the cheap Batman stuff. This might not be a bad car, but these Temu knockoff Batman accessories could make a brand-new Chiron look like a $900 POS.
Also, a few comments have focused on the bodily fluids that have been expelled in the back of the cop car, but no one has mentioned the nasty brown stain on the rear carpet of the Intrepid (see the photos in the original ad). That stain is right in the puke zone – I think Bruce Wayne may have been moonlighting as an Uber driver when the crime business was slow. Or his friends can’t handle their liquor.
Even the carpet is rusty lol. No way I’m picking an Impala that’s seen 2 decades in the rust belt.
More fitting superhero for an Intrepid?
Vision, obviously.
The seller insisting on taking the Pep Boys batman gear featured in a car listing is the most Florida thing ever
At least he’s removing it.
Somehow a 12 year old bought and drove a Dodge Intrepid?
Like, what specific kind of delusion would lead you to think that slapping Autozone crap on a totally average white sedan just… makes a Batman theme work?
Maybe even worse is when you really try to make it work – yesterday I saw a homemade attempt to make a SHIELD Acura MDX on the road, and while it wasn’t immediately clear it wasn’t an official product, it then became extra cringey when I realized someone put that much effort into defacing an otherwise pleasant luxury vehicle.
I mean, if you’ve done it to make your kid smile, then that’s awesome. If you’re the Batman version of a Gravy Seal, then it’s… not.
Good call there!
My eyes have tetanus just from looking at the Impala’s passenger footwell and door sill. That sucker is rotting.
There’s also something deeply depressing about ex-cop cars.
And there’s something a bit disturbing about that much Batman love. But the comment of the AC “blows snow cones” is more Lego Batman than weird-ass 60s Batman, so there’s some redemption there.
Going with the Intrepid. Your Impala link takes me to the Intrepid as well. So that’s a sign. A Bat sign.
As long as the yellow snow cone tastes like lemon….
…the comment of the AC “blows snow cones” is more Lego Batman than weird-ass 60s Batman…
I’m surprised how often the topic of “Who’s the best Batman?” comes up, but every time it does, I answer Will Arnett without hesitation.