Which Mystery Car Would You Trust? 2006 Buick Rendezvous vs 2004 Pontiac Grand Prix

One of the most pervasive fears among all of us is fear of the unknown. Not knowing what’s going on or what could happen can be terrifying, especially when you must make a decision based on what little information you have. And since that’s how our game is played, you’re going to have to make a decision. I won’t give you much information about our competitors, though, because there’s not much to give.

Yesterday we had a lot more information to go on, and I think that worked against the Audi. Its seller’s claims of boosted horsepower and a booming stereo might attract a certain type of buyer, but it wasn’t you lot. The shiny red BMW 540i absolutely crushed it in the poll.

As much as I like the idea of a stickshift Audi Quattro, I’m inclined to agree. That one has been messed with too much. And even if it were stock, the S4 is just overkill. I’d rather have a nice old 4000 Quattro. I’m not terribly enamored with the 540i either; I’d prefer a six-cylinder E39 with a manual, but between these two, it feels like the safer bet.

Shopping for used cars used to be a much more nerve-wracking process. You had to find cars either by spotting something parked in a driveway with a “for sale” sign on it, or reading the classified ads in the newspaper, or a paper like the Tradin’ Times, available at most gas stations and grocery stores for a dollar. The ads had brief descriptions, usually no more than 10-15 words, and if you were lucky, one postage-stamp-sized photo. After that, there was a phone number. You had to call the seller if you wanted to go see the car. I may complain about Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace, but honestly, they’re a dream come true compared to all that. Some sellers seem to think they’re still charged by the word, though, and don’t realize you’re allowed a whole mess of photos, and so their ads still leave you guessing. Today we’re going to look at two cars for the same price, for sale from the same dealership in Lincoln, Nebraska, a dealership that still clings to the old ways.

2006 Buick Rendezvous CXL – $1,900

Engine/drivetrain: 3.5-liter OHV V6, four-speed automatic, FWD

Location: Lincoln, NE

Odometer reading: 185,000 miles

Operational status: Runs and drives

I’m sure everyone reading this is familiar with the Pontiac Aztek, that gawky, strangely lovable crossover that was the hero car in the short-lived TV series Dark Angel as well as becoming the darling of Pebble Beach years later. But what’s not as well-remembered is that the Aztek had a sister model, the Buick Rendezvous, which had much more conservative styling but somehow managed to look even gawkier. Both the Aztek and the Rendezvous were harbingers of today’s locust-like plague of crossover SUVs, but you don’t see them much anymore. Thankfully.

The Rendezvous uses the same platform as GM’s minivans at the time, and so shares their drivetrains. This being a 2006 model, it’s powered by a 3.5-liter “High Value” V6 engine, which is basically just an evolution of the same 60-degree V6 that had been stuffed in the front of mid-level GM cars since the Chevy Citation. That’s not a bad thing, though; generally speaking, if you’re looking at cheap GM cars, you want the most prehistoric drivetrain you can find, not the latest and greatest engineering triumph that has been cost-cut into unreliability. The only info we get about this car’s mechanical status is that it runs and drives. Anything beyond that, you’ll have to find out in person.

The Rendezvous had another feature that is everywhere in crossovers now: a third-row seat, allowing for seven passengers. I’ve been crammed into the third row of some other mid-sized crossovers before, and I can tell you that if you’re planning on carrying seven adults, just buy a damn minivan instead. They’ll hate you less. In a car like this, calling “shotgun” is an act of self-preservation. I wish I could show you what the interior of this one looks like, but the seller has neglected to take any photos of it.

There are four photos of the outside, though, and they all show minor damage to the bumpers and trim. There’s a hole in the rear plastic bumper cover, and one corner of the front one is held in place by zip ties. Whatever works, right? I don’t see any obvious rust, but there’s an awful lot of plastic cladding on this car. Things could be pretty nasty underneath.

2004 Pontiac Grand Prix GT2 – $1,900

Engine/drivetrain: 3.8-liter OHV V6, four-speed automatic, FWD

Location: Lincoln, NE

Odometer reading: 212,000 miles

Operational status: Runs and drives, but says “NO TEST DRIVES”

Ah, the W-body. That long-time resident of cheap used car lots that is finally starting to fade away. Oh, there will be Grand Prixes (Grands Prix? How the hell do you pluralize that?) and Buick Centurys and Chevy Impalas around for a long time to come, but they’re finally starting to succumb to rust and massively high mileage. They’re still a pretty good deal as far as cheap used cars go, though: reasonably comfortable, surprisingly efficient, and able to be fixed with nothing more than duct tape and swear words.

This is the first year of the final generation Grand Prix, when the two-door model was dropped, and the standard engine became the legendary 3800 V6, in its Series III form. It’s a big, lazy engine for a car this size, and that’s part of its success: it doesn’t scream, or sing, it drawls, and moseys. This one has well over 200,000 miles on it, and the seller says it runs and drives – but for some reason, the ad says “NO TEST DRIVES.” Yes, in all caps like that. What the hell? Who would drop two grand on a car without taking it around the block first? It’s not like it’s a Corvette or something that someone is going to abuse on the test drive. It’s a damn Pontiac sedan. I really wonder what the story is there, but not quite enough to call the dealership and find out.

There aren’t any photos of the inside of this one, either, but we know what mid-2000s Pontiacs look like inside: lots of gray plastic, buttons galore, and probably pretty comfy seats. It looks like this one has black leather seats in it. What condition are they in? Who knows? If they won’t let you drive it, maybe they’ll at least let you sit in it.

It’s starting to get pretty crusty around the wheel wells, but from what I’ve seen since moving to Michigan, these cars can get really spectacularly rusty and still hold together somehow. It’s probably got at least a couple years left in it before it becomes a problem.

I know why small dealerships like this write such terse ads. They don’t want you basing your decision on a description and photos. They want you to come down and look at the car, get you into that portable construction trailer they use as an office, and apply the hard-sell. But since we’re only looking at them for fun anyway, we have to go by what’s in front of us, and in the case of these two, that ain’t much. What do you think? Which one seems like a more safe bet for the price?