Which Orphaned GM Coupe Would You Adopt? 1990 Geo Storm vs 1997 Pontiac Grand Prix

For your consideration today, I have a pair of General Motors coupes with some strange similarities. Both were owned by elderly women from new, both are from orphaned brands, and both just need someone to love them and treat them properly. Which one would you give a good home to? Let’s check them out and see.

But first, there is the small matter of yesterday’s scruffy Toyotas. This wasn’t much of a contest at all, as it turns out; not many of you wanted anything to do with that beat-up Lexus LS 400. I don’t blame you. The Previa was just too cool; how else are you going to brag that you drive a mid-engine, forced-induction, all-wheel-drive vehicle without spending supercar money?

Oh, and I should have mentioned, because the ad did, that the Previa is being sold because the owners are moving overseas. That’s all. No one is trying to ditch it before something catastrophic fails. It’s just not worth shipping a 30-year-old van to their new home.

I thought I had today’s cars all figured out. It was going to be the Geo versus something else, but then Matt forwarded me the ad for this Pontiac from reader Jon Witte, and the more I looked at the ad, the more parallels I could draw to the Geo. It was too good of a pairing to pass up. Maybe it’s time to set up some kind of shitbox hotline email for suggestions. (I know there’s a channel on the Discord, but I never seem to be on there.) Anyway, for today, we’re good to go with a couple of grandma-owned GM two-doors. Let’s check them out.

1990 Geo Storm – $2,150

Engine/drivetrain: 1.6-liter OHC inline-4, five-speed manual, FWD

Location: Redondo Beach, CA

Odometer reading: 58,000 miles

Operational status: Runs and drives well

If I told you a car was “low mileage” and “elderly owned,” what sort of car would you picture? A Buick of some description, probably, or a nice simple Plymouth or something. What you probably wouldn’t imagine is this little red number. The Geo Storm was the sportiest member of Chevy’s captive import family in the ’90s, and probably mostly sold to younger buyers. But this one is owned by a 92-year-old woman who recently hung up the keys after putting just 58,000 miles on its odometer.

This is the base-model Storm, with a single overhead cam engine that sends 95 horsepower to the front wheels through a five-speed manual. So not exactly “go granny go,” but quite a bit more amusing to drive than a LeSabre or something. It runs and drives exactly as it should, according to the seller (the owner’s neighbor), and has no mechanical faults. With such low mileage, though, I have to imagine it could use a little exercise; it has probably spent the last 36 years puttering around the same neighborhood.

It’s mostly in good condition inside, but there is this big tear in the seat bolster. The owner likely had some trouble getting in and out, which accelerated wear on the fabric, and once it wore through, it wasn’t long before it looked like this. But if that’s the worst of the wear, that’s not bad at all. It has air conditioning, by the way, but the seller says it “needs a charge at minimum.” At least they’re not trying to downplay what it might need. The door locks are also “wonky,” whatever that means, and the radio is dying.

The paint is pretty faded; I get the feeling this car was parked outside. But there isn’t any rust except on the steel wheels, and those are easy to clean up and repaint if you wish. Otherwise, it should polish up nicely with a little time and elbow grease.

1997 Pontiac Grand Prix GTP – $1,500

Engine/drivetrain: Supercharged 3.8-liter OHV V6, four-speed automatic, FWD

Location: Sedalia, MO

Odometer reading: 130,000 miles

Operational status: Runs and drives well

This Grand Prix is also a one-owner car, owned by an elderly woman who passed away. “Her grandkids had it for two weeks,” the seller says, “and then we took it away.” That explains a lot about this car’s condition. I have a feeling that it was a lot nicer before those fateful two weeks. Now, it’s banged up, dirty inside, and the old owner would probably be appalled. But if you prefer to look at it from a glass-half-full perspective, because of what the grandkids did, it’s a lot cheaper than it might have been.

It’s a GTP model, with the 240 horsepower supercharged 3800 engine, which I think is part of the problem. Of course the kids got in trouble with it. You can’t trust young drivers with powerful cars and expect things to be hunky-dory. The good news is, it takes longer than two weeks to do any lasting damage to a 3800. The 4T65E-HD transmission may have suffered a bit, but I’m hoping it had good regular maintenance before all this.

Inside, it needs a good cleaning, but it’s in good shape. The GTP came with all sorts of bells and whistles, along with leather seats, which show a little wear but nothing serious. The seller does say everything works, but I think it’s worth verifying that.

One word adequately describes the outside: Ouch. The photos in the ad are not all that good, but we get the general idea. It’s dented on both sides, some of the plastic cladding is coming off, the windshield is cracked, and one taillight lens is broken. The damage is repairable, but is it worth bothering? Apparently the seller doesn’t think so, which is why they’re unloading it cheap.

Neither one of these is what you’d expect an older woman to be driving, really. One is a base model of a sporty economy coupe, and the other is a factory hot rod. It would be interesting to know why the original buyers chose them, but I’m afraid that curiosity is going to go unsatisfied. All we can do now is look at the condition they’re in, and choose which one we’d rather have. So what’ll it be?