Home » You’ll Never Guess Which Writer Really Has It In For Noam Chomsky

You’ll Never Guess Which Writer Really Has It In For Noam Chomsky

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Stronk
Stronk
23 days ago

Didn’t realize Matt was a fascist.

Hugh Crawford
Hugh Crawford
25 days ago

What?

Checks internet

As of this moment Noam Chomsky isn’t dead. Not doing great but not dead.

Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
26 days ago

Whoa whoa whoa, coming for RATM?! Excuse me?

That band rips and I will die on this hill.

Slirt
Slirt
26 days ago
Reply to  Stef Schrader

I’m just thankful you know how to spell whoa (look it up, JT)!

JerryLH3
JerryLH3
26 days ago

While on the RATM subject, I love when someone randomly spouts on social media, “I liked RATM before they got political.” Uh, what exactly did you think they were trying to tell you when singing “some of those who run forces, are the same who burn crosses.”

Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
26 days ago
Reply to  JerryLH3

What did they think the machine the band rages against was? The frickin’ soft serve one from McD’s?

Last edited 26 days ago by Stef Schrader
JerryLH3
JerryLH3
26 days ago
Reply to  Stef Schrader

That would be an appropriate thing to rage against occasionally.

I could go on for ages about songs people like and either completely confuse the meaning or have never actually considered the lyrics. Some of my favorites people don’t understand are “Born in the USA” by Springsteen, “Pink Houses” by Mellencamp, and “Fortunate Son” by CCR.

Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
26 days ago
Reply to  JerryLH3

True, but those are really a present-day problem.

The list of “people who fail to understand art” is a long and undignified one.

MaximillianMeen
MaximillianMeen
26 days ago
Reply to  JerryLH3

My fav is “Every Breath You Take” that sooooo many people my age used as a first dance at their wedding. Uh yeah, a song about an obsessed stalker is perfect for professing your love and devotion!

“Pumped Up Kicks” is another one. Uh, folks, it ain’t about the shoes!

Hugh Crawford
Hugh Crawford
25 days ago
Reply to  JerryLH3

I’ve seen American Woman played in some pretty inappropriate circumstances, but Pull Up To The Bumper at a bar mitzvah probably took some sort of cake.

Arrest-me Red
Arrest-me Red
25 days ago
Reply to  Stef Schrader

Granted I do rage when that is “broken”, aka no one wants to clean it.

The Pigeon
The Pigeon
26 days ago
Reply to  JerryLH3

Not sure if true, but I heard the original lyric was “some of those who hold office, are the same that burn crosses.”

Paint-Drinking Thundercock Harvey Park
Paint-Drinking Thundercock Harvey Park
26 days ago

Well, I guess this is a month of weird takes from the Autopian staff.

Phantom Pedal Syndrome
Phantom Pedal Syndrome
26 days ago

no band has ever been less fun than RATM

How wrong can someone be?
Pick up a bass guitar, pick any RATM song and noodle away.
Instant fun. Plus sounding good at a musical instrument has never been so simple.

If you can ignore the Che Guevara aesthetic and focus on the instrumentation and music they are pretty damn rad.

Matt Hardigree
Matt Hardigree
26 days ago

Hey, I love RATM, to clarify that is not my take!

Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
26 days ago
Reply to  Matt Hardigree

thank you for being a correct man of good taste

Tim R
Tim R
26 days ago

They are a great band just for the repeated lyric ‘Fuck no, I won’t do what you tell me’

Ottomottopean
Ottomottopean
26 days ago

I come here for car news and hot takes about said cars.
Now we have to deal with the shit you just dropped and read all these asinine comments it will bring.

So I’ll do it. I’ll be the first one.
The Gilmore Girls was a terrible show and not even Chomsky could redeem it. I can’t understand why it is so well regarded when it objectively sucks hot donkey balls.

(For anyone that can’t tell, yes this is supposed to be sarcasm and a joke. Except for the bit about The Gilmore Girls, which is actually hot, buttered garbage).

The Pigeon
The Pigeon
26 days ago
Reply to  Ottomottopean

Rory Gilmore is one of the worst people ever on TV.

Ross Ewing
Ross Ewing
26 days ago

I was surprised yall didn’t mention the time he punched Gore Vidal, but that’s probably because (after a quick Google) that was Norman Mailer. Meh, who can keep up with all these old philosophers?

Adrian Clarke
Adrian Clarke
26 days ago
Reply to  Ross Ewing

The only book by any of these irrelevant old dust bags I ever read was ‘Carrying the Fire’ by Mailer, because it’s ostensibly about Apollo 11. That was…..something.

Ross Ewing
Ross Ewing
26 days ago
Reply to  Adrian Clarke

Blech. On the plus side, there are many excellent books on the Apollo program, my personal favorite being “Lost Moon” by Jim Lovell

Adrian Clarke
Adrian Clarke
26 days ago
Reply to  Ross Ewing

Yes that’s great. I’ve read a lot of the ‘nosecone’ autobiographies as well, including those of the three Apollo 11 astronauts. If you really want to get nerdy, I thoroughly recommend ‘Digital Apollo’.

Totally not a robot
Totally not a robot
26 days ago

To be quite honest, I do enjoy the sounds of Rage Against the Machine. Verily so when I feel the urge to contact objects with my clenched fists, or, conversely, when I want to feel the urge to contact objects with my clenched fists.

Roofless
Roofless
26 days ago

> no band has ever been less fun or more pointless than RATM

Y’all are coming out swinging this week – the Cybertruck is cool, Chomsky is overrated, and RATM was pointless are certainly some takes one could have.

Chally_Sheedy
Chally_Sheedy
26 days ago
Reply to  Roofless

Fuck you, The Autopian won’t do what you tell it!!

Manuel Verissimo
Manuel Verissimo
26 days ago
Reply to  Chally_Sheedy

That bull is quite rad!

Totally not a robot
Totally not a robot
26 days ago
Reply to  Roofless

Last week was Jason’s turn to issue some takes, but now it seems he’s delegated that responsibility to the whole staff.

Horizontally Opposed
Horizontally Opposed
26 days ago
Reply to  Roofless

We still have Matt though thank heavens. I venture he digs Ratm and finds the first Matrix movie to be cool.

Matt Hardigree
Matt Hardigree
26 days ago

Yes, both things are true!

Mike F.
Mike F.
26 days ago

It seems pretty obvious that once Chomsky passes on, it will look like this:

25% – OH NO!!!!
25% – Well, darn, that’s too bad
25% – Meh
25% – Thank fucking God!!!

Root Beer
Root Beer
26 days ago
Reply to  Mike F.

I got to pump a fist for Rush Limbaugh and Henry Kissinger, I guess the chuds can have Chomsky

SaabaruDude
SaabaruDude
26 days ago
Reply to  Root Beer

All 3 are/were terrible.
*Alfred voice* “some people just want to watch the world burn…”

Hugh Crawford
Hugh Crawford
25 days ago
Reply to  SaabaruDude

One time in response to one of those “who would you invite to a dinner party” surveys I came up with Noam Chomsky, Gore Vidal, and William F Buckley. Maybe William Burroughs just for fun.
I don’t think they would get past the Hors d’oeuvres so that would be a savings right there.
Yeah I’m old.

Toecutter
Toecutter
26 days ago

I’ve thought of drawing a cartoon of this dude, calling it Gnome Chompsky, and having this creepy gnome with Noam’s wrinkly visage but modified with pitbull-like jaws. He’d be standing still, with blood dribbling down his chin and neck, and the legs/shoes of some unfortunate soul hanging out of of his mouth.

Rad Barchetta
Rad Barchetta
26 days ago
Reply to  Toecutter
Chris Stevenson
Chris Stevenson
26 days ago
Reply to  Rad Barchetta

I was an expert witch gnomer back in the day (killing witches in one hit with Gnome Chompski).

Toecutter
Toecutter
26 days ago
Reply to  Rad Barchetta

Never played that game, but I’ve seen it played. Didn’t know that was the name of a weapon!

Root Beer
Root Beer
26 days ago
Reply to  Rad Barchetta

There was also an ancillary character named Gnome Chompsky in Guillermo del Toro’s Tales of Arcadia series

Chally_Sheedy
Chally_Sheedy
26 days ago
Reply to  Toecutter

Nim Chimpsky was an actual subject in a long running and wildly mishandled study on linguistics.
Classic psycholinguist humor. Not as good as Gnome Chimpsky.
Don’t think he ever ate anyone though.

Sadly he has in fact passed.

Chally_Sheedy
Chally_Sheedy
26 days ago
Reply to  Chally_Sheedy

Oh, he was a chimp. I guess that’s relevant.

Chally_Sheedy
Chally_Sheedy
26 days ago

That Brandon Bird painting, “Signifier and Signified”, is great.

Also, many Rage fans being insufferable in all kinds of ways doesn’t mean every one of those albums isn’t cover to cover bangers.

Root Beer
Root Beer
26 days ago
Reply to  Chally_Sheedy

Oh hell yeah, I may need to order that print soon, to go with my Pax Cybertronia and King of the Cage

PresterJohn
PresterJohn
26 days ago

Yeah Hardigree is dead on here. Chomsky might have had some good ideas occasionally but they were far outweighed by a series of horrendous takes on all sorts of issues.

He and Ben Carson are poster children for the idea that just because you’re really good at something doesn’t mean you’re good at other things.

JerryLH3
JerryLH3
26 days ago
Reply to  PresterJohn

Matt’s comment in the slack literally says “he was wrong a lot.”

PresterJohn
PresterJohn
26 days ago
Reply to  JerryLH3

…yes I’m agreeing with him…

JerryLH3
JerryLH3
26 days ago
Reply to  PresterJohn

Yes, you were. Too early in the morning. I thought that was more of a “dead to me” than what you actually meant. Reading is hard sometimes.

Rad Barchetta
Rad Barchetta
26 days ago

I have no idea what any of this is about or who Noah Chekovsky is. Is this some kind of inside baseball?

Totally not a robot
Totally not a robot
26 days ago
Reply to  Rad Barchetta

I don’t know him either, but I don’t think he played baseball.

Parsko
Parsko
26 days ago
Reply to  Rad Barchetta

I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to know, but I don’t. I’ve heard his name, for sure. But that’s it.

R53forfun
R53forfun
26 days ago
Reply to  Parsko

100% where I’m at.

I think I’ve found my crew in this here little string …

Jonathan Hendry
Jonathan Hendry
26 days ago

One of you is Zizek under a pseudonym?

Matt Hardigree
Matt Hardigree
26 days ago

The idea of Zizek being under a pseudonym is, itself, kinda hilarious.

The Schrat
The Schrat
26 days ago

Who would be most likely to write “In Defence of Lost Causes”? Probably DT given his love for the most rust-prone of vehicles.

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