I’m sure you will be unsurprised to learn that I am not an aerodynamicist or a planeologist, nor would I even call myself an airplane buff, though I do seem to be able to identify an awful lot of airplanes and know all kinds of trivia about them. And yes, I’m one of those guys who thinks he can land a 747 should the pilots become incapacitated. I know what the stick, yoke, and pedals do – how hard can it be?
Most of my plane fandom is in the form of liking cool-looking planes, with a special affection for fighters of the WWII era through the early jet age, and all things X-planes. Way down on the list are jetliners, which I appreciate as engineering feats, but I’m not in a hurry to make an Airbus my desktop wallpaper.
What I am an expert in is insomnia and dumb ideas, which often go hand in hand as my body cries out for sleep but my brain says “Wait, what about this?” Recently (July 9th, specifically), I was completely unable to sleep, even after a few rounds of repeating “don’t think” like a soldier who really needs some zees (yes, that’s a thing). I had a vision that simply had to be realized, so sometime around midnight …
I assure you, I did not think I had some kind of solid gold social content here, or even good content. My entire thought process was, “I made it, it’s entertainingly dumb, I may as well post it. It’s travel-related, so close enough for The Autopian.” Aaaaand SEND. I drifted off to sleep shortly after, having expurgated the stupidity that would not give me respite until made real.
Hoo boy, the shoved-cockpit 747 took off overnight, no pun intended.
I admit there are practical concerns, yeesh
Despite the absolutely featherweight reasoning for making a shoved-cockpit 747 (“I just wanted to see it”), many were quick to act as if I were lobbying to put the thing into production:
No way, really?
Ken hates fun, Derek enjoys life but is practical, and Aaron is just alive, man.
My dude, I have thoughts without practical knowledge all the time. Ain’t stoppin’ them thoughts.
Hey man, just because I ignored the impact of the forebody hump on the transonic drag of the wing doesn’t mean I don’t respect the impact of the forebody hump on the transonic drag of the wing. You bet your ass I respect the impact of the forebody hump on the transonic drag of the wing. Ask anyone.
Funny stuff Shane and Gaston, but I feel like Jeremiah is proving the whole shoved-cockpit thing can work:
Thank you, Morgan. And Yuri, you can have my computer when you pry it from my COLD DEAD FINGERS. Charlton Heston voice. Which reminds me …
You’ve no doubt noticed (and will see a few more) references to “bullpupping,” which I must assume refers to the gun configuration below, wherein the magazine and “action” are behind the grip and trigger rather than in front of them. There is a plane called the Bull Pup, but its cockpit is quite far forward on the fuselage. So, machine gun it is. I think.
A shout-out to my fans
Thankfully, some reply guys simply wanted to let me know they dug it. My friends, I thank you.
…and ZERO disadvantages, thank you Andrei. Also, what a lovely render, AI or not. More of those to come.
Always nice to meet a guy who’s secure enough to admit he’s not an aeroplanologist.
Zero percent chance a guy going by “Hoff Johnny” isn’t cool AF. And hell yeah dude, “Hell yeah dude.” Thank you, sir.
Yes! Let’s all go check out the Latécoère 631. Such a lovable long-nosed boi. Pilots landed just fine!
Delightful. You know which one looks cooler. Everyone knows.
Looks pretty great to me, Cameron! I see you have the 2+2 variant. Or 20+20, that’s a lot of cockpit.
Nice! Might wanna put the landing gear down though, you’re gonna scratch the paint.
Indeed, Tyler!
As a matter of course, I stop reading anything after a compliment. There’s usually a “but” soon after, and I don’t need that noise.
Something exactly like that, Marnix!
That vintage-style stripe is a nice touch.
Yes, 747 racing should be a thing. Just imagine five jumbos tearing around pylons 200 feet off the deck! Bring earplugs.
I appreciate your helpful ideas
Some nice folks sought to assist with the visibility challenges, which I appreciate. I see no problems here.
Cockpit on top of the tail, perfect. You can see everything.
I mean, triple-check the landing gear, but this is fine.
I mean, triple-check the extra-long landing gear, but this is fine. And I like that this one has a place for The Poors.
“Reminds me of …”
Many, many people wanted to share what my 1930s-lookin’ 747 reminded them of, including this train. I get it.
Also a good comparison:
A LOT of folks went full Naboo:
There’s that bullpup again.
Some real-world airplanes were popular comparisons too:
It’s Gee Bee, Everett, you’re thinking of the Bee Gees. But that’s OK, they dressed up like pilots once, easy mistake.
My heart is warmed by how many people called out the Fireflash from the 1965 Thunderbirds episode “Trapped In The Sky.” It’s one of the greatest Derek Meddings designs ever:
Thank You, and You’re Welcome
Thank you, everyone, for having fun with this silliness. And you’re welcome if you’re enjoying more airplane stuff in your feed. The algorithm never sleeps.
Top graphic image: DepositPhotos.com
Those Star Wars fighters are riffing on the BV P170, which was never actually built, but has the cockpit shoved all the way to the rear.
Insomnia fueled airplane redesign? Cheap! In my insomnia-hangover times (where you are so tired but awake it is like being really drunk) I have bought a watch and a vintage black motorcycle jacket, just like the Ramones used to wear. I am not a young or thin man, though, so my wife was like “what the f?”
Hopefully I won’t be like that anytime soon, but if I am I hope I redesign something cool but stupid.
I’m somehow surprised this isn’t a Jason article.
Not sure what those guys are saying, a skilled pilot can land a plane with their eyes closed and hands far from the controls. Hell, they don’t even need to be in the cockpit.
Looks sorta cool. Also, the Venn diagram of people who like this and the people who hate the Jag E-type is two circles with no overlap.
…where’s that clip of Red Green turning the old bus into a “cigar car?”
Anyway, as elegant as it is, it is also cursed. In the best possible way.
Keep yer stick on the ice.
Yay Pete! Now that you know how easily ragebait generates content, I have to assume you’ll be ‘shopping all sorts of shit. Can’t wait; your reaction to the reactions is tremendously entertaining.
Shouldn’t it have a blackout (hood) surface then to reduce reflections and look like a badass vintage Trans-Am series racer?
I immediately thought of the Nubian j type hahaha
You’ve come rather close to reinventing the Boeing XP-9:
https://live.staticflickr.com/3828/9087582512_583459ccec_c.jpg
Don’t quit your day job, Peter. Practicality aside, that just looks like crap.
But if Peter quits his day job who’s going to post stuff like this to distract me from *my* day job??
That’s the point! I DON’T want him to quit his day job.
The rule of cool is a real thing. And while I don’t understand why, the relocated cockpit airplane you drew up, and your fans, looks really freaking cool. Good enough for me!
None of the renders include the upper passenger windows. Come on!
Also, why not add a glazed bomber cockpit type nose for a passenger hangout area.
That was my first thought, would make 1st class even classier.
Let’s not forget the USS Enterprise! That thing had its cockpit in the middle of a gigantic dish that was elevated and forward of the entire fuselage. If they had to land it on landing gear, everyone in engineering would be in for a bad time.
Wait. Are you saying the Enterprise wasn’t designed with science? Next your going to say that Scottish cursing doesn’t help in an engineering problem.
And there’s no sound or fire in space.
The saucer section was supposed to do the landing bit, duh. Clearly, the landing would have ruptured the warp core and caused an antimatter containment leak if the stardrive section had to support landing forces.
Didn’t you see Star Trek: Generations? God.
(Side note: I am very happy I found a spouse that loves me for the delightful person I am)
On the Enterprise-D, sure. And saucer separation was retconned onto the Enterprise in the Kelvin timeline, but it wasn’t part of the TOS or refit Enterprise, which, I know, never landed on the surface of a planet. To be fair, the shuttlecraft were designed like cab-over vans so you got a great view of the landing site, even if you were totally setting down on the warp nacelles.
Yes, I speak fluent Star Trek. I think Ancestry confirmed I’m 1/8th Vulcan.