A Startup Supercar Company Is Developing Something That Absolutely No One Wants And I Sort Of Predicted Almost A Decade Ago

A long time ago, I told the world something I believed: supercars are stupid. That goes for hypercars, too, or whatever we want to call that class of hyperexpensive stupidcars with dramatic doors. There’s a new hypercar company out there, Sanrivatti, that is absolutely doing its part to keep proving that thesis of mine correct. I do have to hand it to them, though, they’re doing it in a new and novel way, even if it sort of is a way I predicted almost a decade ago. As a joke.

Sanrivatti is a Dutch hypercar startup with a CEO who came from Donkervoort, a company that does make a remarkably cool-looking car, the F22. But Sanrivatti (which is not affiliated with Sanrio, if you were hoping this would be somehow Chococat-related) is taking a very different approach than making cool-looking cars. They’re focusing on putting the driver in a stupid position nobody really wants, a position they call the “Apex Position.”

This is what the Apex Position looks like:

…and this is from a silly article I wrote back in 2017:

It’s not exactly the same, but the same basic idea: driver prone on some padded hump, head-forward. Sanrivatti has a whole press release talking about their big idea to build a car that makes nobody want to ride with you:

Revolutionary ‘Apex Position’ totally reimagines ultra-high-performance car ergonomics. The head-forward driving position blends superbike with hypercar, enabling a step change in field of vision, more precise vehicle placement on track and a deeper connection between driver and machine.

…

For decades, hypercar development has focused on increasing performance through greater power, advancing aerodynamics and ever-more sophisticated technology. Yet one fundamental aspect of the driving experience has remained consistent: the position of the driver.

Sanrivatti began by asking a different question: what if the way we position the human body inside a high-performance car limits the connection between driver and machine?

Today, the pioneering brand reveals its answer: The Apex Position. A unique, world-first driving concept that completely rewrites the rulebook for ultra-high-performance car ergonomics and places the driver at the very centre of the hypercar experience.

Okay, okay, calm down. I get it. It’s like a superbike, but in a car. You know who has been clamoring for that?

Nobody.

Nobody, at least when it comes to a hypercar like this. Sure, maybe for a purpose-built racing car or speed-record car or something like that, okay, as a one-off or whatever, but that’s not what hypercars are. Sanrivatti must be sort of delusional about who buys hypercars and why. People don’t race these things. Someone at the factory tests them to fantastic speeds, or maybe one goes to a special driver hired by a media outlet for a speed run, and they get video of it going 300 mph or whatever, and everyone has a wank, and then the rich dillholes who buy these tell every single person they see that it can go 300 mph.

Hypercars are sophisticated machines that are either parked in climate-controlled garages or slowly driven between restaurants and movie premieres so people can see the fancy owners and their dates emerging from a three-foot-high car with doors that unfold like a metal origami Georgia O’Keeffe painting, and, yes, I know what she was really painting. That’s it.

People who buy hypercars don’t race them. Pagani doesn’t build race cars, for example: they build incredibly capable cars that owners could use on track days, if they wanted to. Do they? I have no idea, but I suspect if they do, it’s not often. Are people racing Bugatti Chirons all over the place? No. There aren’t racing series based on hypercars, because that’s not what they’re for. So what’s the point of a seat like this?

Most hypercars seat two people, because what’s the point of a hypercar if you can’t use it to lure in people of your preferred type and give them rides in hopes that they’ll be intoxicated by all the drama and status and then, you know, put out. But in this thing? Where’s your date supposed to sit? Behind you? Staring at your ass? Beside you, where they can’t really see your face or talk to you?

And why is the driver wearing a helmet in these sketches? Is it because of the inherent safety issues that come from making your head the first thing to get hit? Who the hell wants to wear a helmet in their hypercar? I guarantee the people who could buy this have complex and lavish hair; it’d be a crime to hide those luxuriant manes under helmets!

Maybe I’m being a curmudgeon here. Maybe this is the best thing to happen to hypercars since the invention of the scissor door. I did have an even worse idea for supercar driving positions back in the day, too:

So, it could be worse! Am I being a jerk here? Is there some appeal to this I’m missing? If so, tell me in the comments!

Top graphic image: Sanrivatti