A long time ago, I told the world something I believed: supercars are stupid. That goes for hypercars, too, or whatever we want to call that class of hyperexpensive stupidcars with dramatic doors. There’s a new hypercar company out there, Sanrivatti, that is absolutely doing its part to keep proving that thesis of mine correct. I do have to hand it to them, though, they’re doing it in a new and novel way, even if it sort of is a way I predicted almost a decade ago. As a joke.
Sanrivatti is a Dutch hypercar startup with a CEO who came from Donkervoort, a company that does make a remarkably cool-looking car, the F22. But Sanrivatti (which is not affiliated with Sanrio, if you were hoping this would be somehow Chococat-related) is taking a very different approach than making cool-looking cars. They’re focusing on putting the driver in a stupid position nobody really wants, a position they call the “Apex Position.”
This is what the Apex Position looks like:
…and this is from a silly article I wrote back in 2017:
It’s not exactly the same, but the same basic idea: driver prone on some padded hump, head-forward. Sanrivatti has a whole press release talking about their big idea to build a car that makes nobody want to ride with you:
Revolutionary ‘Apex Position’ totally reimagines ultra-high-performance car ergonomics. The head-forward driving position blends superbike with hypercar, enabling a step change in field of vision, more precise vehicle placement on track and a deeper connection between driver and machine.
…
For decades, hypercar development has focused on increasing performance through greater power, advancing aerodynamics and ever-more sophisticated technology. Yet one fundamental aspect of the driving experience has remained consistent: the position of the driver.
Sanrivatti began by asking a different question: what if the way we position the human body inside a high-performance car limits the connection between driver and machine?
Today, the pioneering brand reveals its answer: The Apex Position. A unique, world-first driving concept that completely rewrites the rulebook for ultra-high-performance car ergonomics and places the driver at the very centre of the hypercar experience.
Okay, okay, calm down. I get it. It’s like a superbike, but in a car. You know who has been clamoring for that?
Nobody.
Nobody, at least when it comes to a hypercar like this. Sure, maybe for a purpose-built racing car or speed-record car or something like that, okay, as a one-off or whatever, but that’s not what hypercars are. Sanrivatti must be sort of delusional about who buys hypercars and why. People don’t race these things. Someone at the factory tests them to fantastic speeds, or maybe one goes to a special driver hired by a media outlet for a speed run, and they get video of it going 300 mph or whatever, and everyone has a wank, and then the rich dillholes who buy these tell every single person they see that it can go 300 mph.
Hypercars are sophisticated machines that are either parked in climate-controlled garages or slowly driven between restaurants and movie premieres so people can see the fancy owners and their dates emerging from a three-foot-high car with doors that unfold like a metal origami Georgia O’Keeffe painting, and, yes, I know what she was really painting. That’s it.
People who buy hypercars don’t race them. Pagani doesn’t build race cars, for example: they build incredibly capable cars that owners could use on track days, if they wanted to. Do they? I have no idea, but I suspect if they do, it’s not often. Are people racing Bugatti Chirons all over the place? No. There aren’t racing series based on hypercars, because that’s not what they’re for. So what’s the point of a seat like this?
Most hypercars seat two people, because what’s the point of a hypercar if you can’t use it to lure in people of your preferred type and give them rides in hopes that they’ll be intoxicated by all the drama and status and then, you know, put out. But in this thing? Where’s your date supposed to sit? Behind you? Staring at your ass? Beside you, where they can’t really see your face or talk to you?
And why is the driver wearing a helmet in these sketches? Is it because of the inherent safety issues that come from making your head the first thing to get hit? Who the hell wants to wear a helmet in their hypercar? I guarantee the people who could buy this have complex and lavish hair; it’d be a crime to hide those luxuriant manes under helmets!
Maybe I’m being a curmudgeon here. Maybe this is the best thing to happen to hypercars since the invention of the scissor door. I did have an even worse idea for supercar driving positions back in the day, too:
So, it could be worse! Am I being a jerk here? Is there some appeal to this I’m missing? If so, tell me in the comments!
Top graphic image: Sanrivatti
They get you in the perfect position to pork you out of all of your money.
Can you see some fat, rich guy trying to climb out of this in front of the Monte Carlo Casino? Absolutely ridiculous.
My kingdom for exactly one video review of anyone in a maxi dress or pencil skirt test driving this vehicle if it makes it to production, preferably set to Yakety Sax.
Also, like, the seatbelt…? The airbags?? How¿
How about…the pedals? Do we need an adjustable pedalbox to fit your exact front-of-knee to sole-of-shoe dimension, so that you aren’t constantly on the accelerator if it’s too close and not moving if it’s too far? Not to mention, you can’t toe-rotate a gas pedal if the front of your foot is resting on something. How is it done on a sportbike? Maybe everything will be controlled with xbox controllers?
This is basically a kneeling on the floorpan position. Hooray, kneeling during your drive sounds soooo comfortable. Maybe the concept designer just really enjoys Catholic church?
wait, is that a steering wheel or yoke? a steering yoke?!?
seriously tho, dunno what the controls are – pretty important detail that directly arises from the ‘apex’ position, i’d have expected them to indicate how the operator drives this thing.
I hope they can convince the ultra rich that this contraption is a new “ultracar” category, and true performance is defined by being miserable with heatstroke, limited visibility and a neck sprain. Let’s convince billionaires that this is the next big thing we can’t possibly afford, so we can have something to secretly point and laugh while they sink our society and wreck our planet.
Is this car secretly an orca?
Torch seems to be referencing Rollie Free breaking the world record at 150.3 mph on a Vincent Black Shadow by eventually removing most gear and clothes, riding stretched out straight behind the bars.
This approach has been used recently in cycling on downhill runs.
http://hof.motorcyclemusem.org/detail.aspx?RacerID=178
Is this the beginning of your Cars universe theory?
That’s what I was thinking the article was leading to, Torch’s car-homunculus.
And yet not one mention of the Torch Homunculus Theory! I’m slightly disappointed.
As I recall, the Batmobile (Dark Knight version) was driven in the Apex Position.
Reminds me of Angus Macphail’s dragsters, or an F1 sidecar with an extra wheel
https://bangshift.com/bangshift1320/a-snapshot-in-time-angus-macphails-wild-three-wheeled-ford-powered-experimental-and-jade-warrior/
At least trying to figure out how to not kill the driver should be entertaining.
There have been a few experimental fighter planes with the pilot in a prone position, because the pilot can withstand 9 Gs without a pressure suit. Other than that they were complete failures for reasons like being able to see what’s around you, which is kind of important in a fighter.
There isn’t much call for +9 vertical Gs in a car of any kind, and being able to see what’s around you is probably even more important than in an airplane.
Seems like a 60s undrivable show car idea to me. Line it in pink fur and call it the “Missionary Position” .
I can’t believe nobody has mentioned the Nike One 2022. Are y’all too young or too old to have played Gran Turismo 4?
NIKE One 2022 | Gran Turismo Wiki | Fandom
My neck hurts looking at this seating position.
I wanted to make a sexual joke but I don’t think it’ll be appropriate.
Sanrivatti should replace their CEO with Jason. He then could Torch their design in favor of something (either similar to a Deux Chavaux, VW Beetle, or Corvair, or lifted directly from the 1967 – 1968 animated series Speed Racer) fitted with an “Apex Seat” (and a proper engine). The required design work should be performed by Jason’s cat Tomato on an Apple II computer.
Dumb, simply dumb.
The press release should have dated April 1.
There are good reasons to be learing forward on a motorcycle, there are no good reasons for this position in a car
It’s the Sanrivatti Doggystyle.
An optional rear-facing seat mounted underneath the driver will turn it into the Sanrivatti Hummer.
Acksully… https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_Mans_Hypercar
Just picturing the crash test. Car hits a brick wall dummy flies through the windshield and slides the equivalent of third base to home.
That thing better be fast because that driver is just begging to be rear ended.
Giggity.
I can just hear the comments now. Remember the good old days when the steering column just impaled your chest? However it would do the favorable result of reducing the world of some hyper cars and their insufferable owners. Just think of all that inheritance tax coming into the coffers from deceased rich people.
Without Supercars and Hypercars, how will we know who is a psychopathic narcissist and who isn’t?
Oh you can tell without a hypercar trust me.
Really? That’s the best you’ve got? Come on, attempt to be funny.
by their twitter posts
Oh, you still use Twitter? Huh. So, you like psychopathic narcissists.
It looks like it needs to be so tall to accomodate the “Apex Position” that they’ll be able to offer CUV-style (or at least tall-hatchback) chair-height seating in the same package, once they make the interior full-width to allow a passenger.
i’m afraid to ask what passenger seating will look like.
Comes with a free lunch.
The old, rich guys who might conceivably buy these can barely get in and out of their Porsches!
It’s easier for them to screw you for being dumb enough to give them money I suppose. Since they weren’t putting that money to a good cause anyways, I actually support fleecing them with dumb things like this.
You’re not buying the right kind of things I think you should buy, either. Why won’t you buy what I tell you to?
Passenger lays atop the rear-mounted engine, to stay warm!