A long time ago, I told the world something I believed: supercars are stupid. That goes for hypercars, too, or whatever we want to call that class of hyperexpensive stupidcars with dramatic doors. There’s a new hypercar company out there, Sanrivatti, that is absolutely doing its part to keep proving that thesis of mine correct. I do have to hand it to them, though, they’re doing it in a new and novel way, even if it sort of is a way I predicted almost a decade ago. As a joke.
Sanrivatti is a Dutch hypercar startup with a CEO who came from Donkervoort, a company that does make a remarkably cool-looking car, the F22. But Sanrivatti (which is not affiliated with Sanrio, if you were hoping this would be somehow Chococat-related) is taking a very different approach than making cool-looking cars. They’re focusing on putting the driver in a stupid position nobody really wants, a position they call the “Apex Position.”
This is what the Apex Position looks like:
…and this is from a silly article I wrote back in 2017:
It’s not exactly the same, but the same basic idea: driver prone on some padded hump, head-forward. Sanrivatti has a whole press release talking about their big idea to build a car that makes nobody want to ride with you:
Revolutionary ‘Apex Position’ totally reimagines ultra-high-performance car ergonomics. The head-forward driving position blends superbike with hypercar, enabling a step change in field of vision, more precise vehicle placement on track and a deeper connection between driver and machine.
…
For decades, hypercar development has focused on increasing performance through greater power, advancing aerodynamics and ever-more sophisticated technology. Yet one fundamental aspect of the driving experience has remained consistent: the position of the driver.
Sanrivatti began by asking a different question: what if the way we position the human body inside a high-performance car limits the connection between driver and machine?
Today, the pioneering brand reveals its answer: The Apex Position. A unique, world-first driving concept that completely rewrites the rulebook for ultra-high-performance car ergonomics and places the driver at the very centre of the hypercar experience.
Okay, okay, calm down. I get it. It’s like a superbike, but in a car. You know who has been clamoring for that?
Nobody.
Nobody, at least when it comes to a hypercar like this. Sure, maybe for a purpose-built racing car or speed-record car or something like that, okay, as a one-off or whatever, but that’s not what hypercars are. Sanrivatti must be sort of delusional about who buys hypercars and why. People don’t race these things. Someone at the factory tests them to fantastic speeds, or maybe one goes to a special driver hired by a media outlet for a speed run, and they get video of it going 300 mph or whatever, and everyone has a wank, and then the rich dillholes who buy these tell every single person they see that it can go 300 mph.
Hypercars are sophisticated machines that are either parked in climate-controlled garages or slowly driven between restaurants and movie premieres so people can see the fancy owners and their dates emerging from a three-foot-high car with doors that unfold like a metal origami Georgia O’Keeffe painting, and, yes, I know what she was really painting. That’s it.
People who buy hypercars don’t race them. Pagani doesn’t build race cars, for example: they build incredibly capable cars that owners could use on track days, if they wanted to. Do they? I have no idea, but I suspect if they do, it’s not often. Are people racing Bugatti Chirons all over the place? No. There aren’t racing series based on hypercars, because that’s not what they’re for. So what’s the point of a seat like this?
Most hypercars seat two people, because what’s the point of a hypercar if you can’t use it to lure in people of your preferred type and give them rides in hopes that they’ll be intoxicated by all the drama and status and then, you know, put out. But in this thing? Where’s your date supposed to sit? Behind you? Staring at your ass? Beside you, where they can’t really see your face or talk to you?
And why is the driver wearing a helmet in these sketches? Is it because of the inherent safety issues that come from making your head the first thing to get hit? Who the hell wants to wear a helmet in their hypercar? I guarantee the people who could buy this have complex and lavish hair; it’d be a crime to hide those luxuriant manes under helmets!
Maybe I’m being a curmudgeon here. Maybe this is the best thing to happen to hypercars since the invention of the scissor door. I did have an even worse idea for supercar driving positions back in the day, too:
So, it could be worse! Am I being a jerk here? Is there some appeal to this I’m missing? If so, tell me in the comments!
Top graphic image: Sanrivatti
Something tells me that Torch has officially had his invitation to the Sanrivatti media road test day canceled by writing this article.
Something also tells me that Torch will wear that disinvitation like a badge of honor.
Something tells me that rich people will buy this car only to garage it and never drive it. Billionaires collect hypercars like us plebes collect Pokemon on our phones.
The negotiation was going fine until the dealer put me in the apex position.
I was getting a good deal until F&I apexed me on the Truecoat.
“A long time ago, I told the world something I believed: supercars are stupid.”
In the past when ‘supercars’ only had the performance of a regular Tesla Model 3 AWD, they weren’t stupid because regular cars had much MUCH worse performance.
But these days where a sub-4 second 0-60 times have become common, the incremental performance gain you get from a supercar is irrelevant and beyond the skill of most drivers to make use of.
So I agree… supercars and hypercars these days are stupid.
The worse idea is how every college girl sat in the passenger seat back before airbags became a thing.
I STILL see some people putting their feet on the dash these days in airbag equipped cars.
And it has let to some decently gruesome injuries.
Ugh, my wife tends to do this. I always tell her not to, but she doesn’t always listen. Particularly on road trips.
Show her some pictures of some of those gruesome injuries and ask her if that’s what she wants feet/legs to look like.
Well, she wouldn’t look at the pictures, and even if she did, she’d be of the opinion that it couldn’t happen to her. I’m not justifying it, that’s just the way she is. Usually I will pull in at the next rest area or truck stop. Taking a break tends to reset the clock on her feet hitting the dash. If it doesn’t, I take the next opportunity to trade driving duties.
Put the gruesome picture on the dash… LOL
lol
There’s an easy answer here. Just start making jokes about how much you can’t wait for her to have her ankles stuck by her ears and she’s get those feet down quickly.
Someone once told me that hurts…
Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more. Say No MORE.
As long as you’ve got cruise control, you could still sit like this.
I’ve had multiple people do this as passengers in my own car, and it’s about the easiest way to get me to lose my shit, lol.
First of all, wtf get your feet off my dash you anarchic lunatic.
Second, holy shit, I’m not being held responsible for you getting folded up like a lawn chair if we get in an accident.
Back then I would never tell a girl to take her feet off my dash. It might alert them I was in the car.
LOL
It wasn’t a good idea before passenger air bags, but yeah, now it’s a terrible idea. My wife used to do it much to my chagrin before we had cars with passenger air bags, but I was successful in getting her to stop once we had dual airbags in all of our cars.
Someone’s been watching to much Batman Begins.
My first thought.
“So Bruce Wayne is really rich, and he does that with the Batmobile. What if we built that but for people who have even more money?”
I’m hoping you applied for a patent on this idea so that you can sue for royalties. Since it’s the main feature of the car, it should be worth hundreds.
I predict this will never reach production because there’s no way the car would meet safety requirements.
*it should be worth tens.
Legit question: does it matter if they decide not to make it road legal? As in, do track cars also have to have safety requirements? These get kept in garages anyway so I don’t think owners would care.
If it’s a track-only car I’m sure you could find a track that would let you run it. No legal requirements, just insurance ones, and it’s usually just a helmet.
Racing series have safety requirements, but if it’s not meant for road use, I don’t think the government would care if they sell some. As far as being able to take it to a track, that would be up to the operator of the track, I would think.
eh, folks in this income bracket can just buy/build their own.
Looking at Torch’s “worse“ idea, I’m reminded of Sid‘s comment from the KFC article. “Nobody drives faster than someone who’s eaten KFC two hours ago“. Put that person in this position, and watch the fireworks happen!
So last week I was loudly blasting the very same thing in a conversation with someone, on how nobody ever ever actually drives supercars, much less put them at risk.
Then on the next day I saw a 296 N-Largo by Novitec blasting the hairpins just under the top of the Stelvio pass.
Romanian plates, these guys are far away, they probably didn’t get the message.
I’d post pictures, but you guys make that too easy and I like me a challenge.
Yep dumb
This is a solution looking for a problem. What is so special about this position? Chairs have existed for millennia basically unchanged because they work for our bodies.
How does one control it?
With a motorcycle, you’re not resting on your knees which allow your feet to operate controls – but this?
All this needs is a way to project the driver’s eyes onto the windshield and we’ll be one step closer to your Pixar Cars theory.
This reminds me of the ads my brother keeps sending me to laugh at with him:
https://martonibike.com/
One of the ads tries to pitch you on how it’s like riding a bike, but without having to see the handlebar or pedals. You know, fixing the main problem people have with bikes.
EDIT: I just saw the tag line on their site is “get off your ass and feel the ride” lol
It’s less ridiculous than those mobile elliptical machine-looking things.
Turns out those make surprisingly good downhill bikes:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0nw_owIAzw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxKQ-n_8YN0
There is another product from the same company that looks ridiculous and I bet doesn’t do nearly as well off-road. This is the one I was talking about: https://www.elliptigo.com/product/elliptigo-8c/
Finally, a car with a performance kneepads accessory option.
Actually this echoes what you posited to explain Cars nine years ago:
https://www.jalopnik.com/this-disturbing-theory-explains-pixars-cars-1791834045/
Disregard that it’s hosted on The Other Site, god knows they could use the traffic.
You beat me to it. It was my first thought as well.
I had the same thought, good thing I skimmed the comments first.
And just how in God’s name am I supposed to eat a burrito while driving it if I can’t steer with my knees?
You said it yourself; By letting Jesus take the wheel!
C’mon now, there’s a little crevice for your Coachman to sit in and feed you the burrito.
Are you familiar with “boofing”?
There’s a kink for every pervert, but I do not want any part of consuming a chipotle burrito that way.
I was expecting you to reference your Cars theory, The illustration almost perfectly matches your homunculus position. Is this how that universe starts?
My first thought as well.
First thing I thought of when clicking, and yes, this is how it begins.
A New Way to Travel That Will Change Everything – SOUTH PARK
Beats dealing with the airlines!
Prior to 9/11, work had me flying mostly to Detroit almost every other week for years. If you think you hate it now. I have no desire to fly since.
Hardly any hypercar buyer will be able to get into that position, because, you know they are all 50+ year old oligarchs.
And there won’t be room for big bellies
These will end up with an accidental reputation as chick cars because only their trophy wives will be able to drive them.
and it will be delightful to be seen.
Most of the time the rulebook is written the way it for good reasons.
I hope they at least make you buy the car dinner before you sign the title.
Why does it look like a carp in profile?
Yeah, I wanna ride my dick at 200mph….
….said nobody ever.
Rule 34 states that SOMEONE has said that at some point.
Ever watch MotoGP? Seems like some people are OK with it.
Holy crap – they go that fast?
Wow.
Yeah, it’s pretty amazing to watch. 200 is pretty much the fastest they go but over 170 is common.
I’d need a new cup after every race.
jorge martin on aprilia went 229mph at mugello in march.
They just took the customer chair out of the sales office and bolted it into the car.
Assume the position!
Ah crap I basically made the same joke above without scrolling all the way down lol.
Its called the apex position because when you crash, the apex of the parabola you’re launched into due to no available harness prevents you from hitting the other car.
Also, this gives strong Darling in the Franxx vibes for the passenger
Will the car have a “Stampede Mode”?