Home » Cold Start: Minor Threat

Cold Start: Minor Threat

Cs Minor
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There’s so much to like here: the use of the word “mighty” when talking about a nearly half-minute zero to 60 time, the suggestion that whatever you drove before needed a full minute to get to 60, the strange perspective of that drawing, which makes the wheels look tiny and the headlights look huge. Everything about this works just right. No notes.

My friend in LA just took ownership of a Morris Minor project, and I’m so excited to see it up and running. These are such charming little proper puttering cars. Also, I think they’re one of that class of car where the second-generation redesign actually made the car look significantly better. Remember, the Minor started life with its headlights down low as the Morris Minor MM from 1948 and in 1953 the Series II moved them up into the fenders:

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

Cs Minor2Personally, I think the higher-headlight version has a much more appealing face, even if the double chrome trim around the grille is kind of strange. The old one reminds me of a proboscis monkey for some reason that the newer one doesn’t even though that central hood lump is unchanged.

What do you think? Is it just me?

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Fidodog
Fidodog
1 year ago

I think Jason needs to draw a Mighty Changli illustration in the same style as this Morris ad, touting its blistering 28-second 0-25 time. “Now you move down(hill) TWICE AS FAST!”

Jeff Gillio
Jeff Gillio
1 year ago

This makes me wonder how long we generally take to get from 0-60 in real world driving? I have never thought about it unless I was on straight empty road just trying to see what my car would do. I was a teenager then though. I think it’s safe to say no one really needs a car to do it in 3 or even 6 seconds despite what manufactures want us to think. Sure, that’s fun, but not really practical for real driving.

Hangover Grenade
Hangover Grenade
1 year ago
Reply to  Jeff Gillio

What an interesting though. I bet the average driver only uses 30 or 40% of their cars potential.

Wolfpack57
Wolfpack57
1 year ago
Reply to  Jeff Gillio

I read in a different car website comment that most people used an average 18sec time in everyday use.

Ranwhenparked
Ranwhenparked
1 year ago
Reply to  Jeff Gillio

Theoretically, my Corvair will hit 60 in maybe 14 seconds, but, with everyone having their phones in their laps at red lights and whatnot, I will very often be a block ahead before the car behind me even starts moving through the intersection, and that’s just driving pretty normally. Most people’s minds are pretty out of it in traffic. I mean, Teslas have supercar-beating performance, and most of the ones I see on the Interstate seem to dawdle along in the right lane at 10 under the limit

Dodsworth
Dodsworth
1 year ago

The higher headlights for sure. At least it looks awake.

Michael Beranek
Michael Beranek
1 year ago

Well, we are talking about England here, which is a pretty small island. By the time you get up to 60, you’re probably about to run out of England and have to stop before you go swimming.

GFunk
GFunk
1 year ago

There’s a solution to that problem: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVjo6YOT3Zg

Paul B
Paul B
1 year ago

That second line of chrome looks like a milk mustache.

Did some research on the vehicle I’ve owned over the years for their 0-60 times (all automatics):

1984 Buick Century (V6): 11.1

1986 Cutlass Ciera (Iron Puke 4 cyl): 15.3

1988 Cutlass Calais (Quad 4 “regular”): 8.8

1995 Chevy Cavalier (2.2l): 10.1

1999 Chevy Tracker (4cyl): 8.4

2006 Suzuki Grand Vitara (v6): 8.6

2012 GMC Acadia: 7.1

2017 Chevy Volt: 7.5

Going from memory, no way did I think my Chevy Tracker was quicker off the line than the Calais. And the Acadia makes quite a bit more noise to beat its garage mate Volt.

Citrus
Citrus
1 year ago
Reply to  Paul B

Interesting idea, let’s see for me:

1984 Honda Civic (1.3l, 5-speed manual) 12
1998 Ford Escort ZX2 (5-speed manual) 7.4
2009 Toyota Matrix XR (5-speed manual) 8
2013 Hyundai Elantra GT (6-speed manual) 8.9
2018 Hyundai Elantra GT (6-speed automatic) 8

This is from the google. I could have swore the 2013 was faster – it certainly felt faster – but for the most part I sure have kept everything in the same rough speed range huh?

msisaacs
msisaacs
1 year ago

My dad had a Minor for several years. It was originally a saloon, but the previous owner had it converted to a tourer. My dad bought it mostly restored already and he loved to drive it around town. Had to sell it when they moved out of country. It was a fun little car.

Also, that ad at the top looks like it’s straight out of A-ha’s Take On Me video.

UncouthSloth
UncouthSloth
1 year ago

aren’t these the cars that “Top Gear” used to drop pianos on top of? Seemed prudent to me at the time

SquareTaillight2002
SquareTaillight2002
1 year ago
Reply to  UncouthSloth

That would be a Morris Marina. Anyone in Britain found crushing a beloved Morris Minor would be drawn, quartered, and shipped to Australia.

Ranwhenparked
Ranwhenparked
1 year ago

The Marina was still the Minor platform with more modern sheet metal, as BMC’s cut rate answer to the Cortina

SquareTaillight2002
SquareTaillight2002
1 year ago

Just imagine a world where a 28 second 0-60 time is advertised as a feature!

Steve Gray
Steve Gray
1 year ago

I can vouch for that 0-60 time. My dad bought a new Morris Minor 1000 in 1960 (the “high headlight” model.) It was fun – once it got moving. He loved driving from the San Fernando Valley to Hollywood via Cahuenga Drive at well over the posted speed limit. The Morris served us well until he decided to buy a Lincoln Continental – which was a dramatic switch, to say the least.

The Toecutter
The Toecutter
1 year ago

That’s a comparable figure to an Austin Healey “Bugeye” Sprite.

SquareTaillight2002
SquareTaillight2002
1 year ago
Reply to  The Toecutter

Yes but Austin Healey was smart enough not to advertise it!!

Fidodog
Fidodog
1 year ago

I don’t think my Dad’s 1971 VW Bus could have managed a 28-second 0-60 time, except on a fairly steep downhill — and even then, only if the wind conditions were favorable.

One time on the big-ass hill coming out of Cincinnati on I71 & 75 south, I had to stop at the bottom due to construction and traffic. When we got moving again, I couldn’t get it above second gear. We actually got passed by a loaded cement truck with its flashers on. Highway humiliation, Type 2 style.

DysLexus
DysLexus
1 year ago

This comic book drawing look makes me think…

“Kapow!!!” “Wshhh!!!”

But the real life Morris would be more just “putt-putt”

Chris Hoffpauir
Chris Hoffpauir
1 year ago

“Now you move up TWICE AS FAST!”

That means used to take almost an entire minute to hit 60mph before the upgrade to the one-liter engine. Wow!

Lew Schiller
Lew Schiller
1 year ago

As a resident of Alabama and a member of the Dorset Chapter MMOC I applaud today’s entry!
There are currently two in my garage..a 1959 Tourer and a 1968 Traveller.

The Tourer is an export LHD model purchased new in San Diego by the woman from whom I bought it last year. It’s a complete tear down restoration project but every time I look at the shiny factory paint in the sills I remind myself that it’s worth it.
The Traveller I bought from a Facebook ad for £800 ($1,200) and had sent over. Thanks to a dear friend in Ringwood a lot was done to it there before shipping. New wood..bottom end rebuild of the 1098..welding..so on..so forth.

They are a joy to drive. A return to simple times. Yes – not fast – but…pleasant. They’re comfortable for for a full size person, they handle very well and they make people smile. What more could you ask?

TOSSABL
TOSSABL
1 year ago
Reply to  Lew Schiller

Lew gets it: they are a (very) basic car-and engaging to drive! I urge anyone who gets a chance to drive one. People smile and wave and they’re just so fun that you won’t even care it take a 1/2 minute to get to 60. The ‘59 convertible I looked after couldn’t have weighed 1500lbs and was almost nimble. I was always smiling while driving, and that’s what being a gearhead (wait: properly a petrolhead) is all about, no?

Nic Periton
Nic Periton
1 year ago

Given that the average Morris Minor buyer was probably upgrading their personal transport solution from either a pre-war Austin7 or a bicycle then the “twice as fast” claim is not so ridiculous.

MATTinMKE
MATTinMKE
1 year ago

That lead image is now the wallpaper on my computer. Thanks Torch!

ExAutoJourno
ExAutoJourno
1 year ago

Still holding out for a Traveller.

That said, even a regular Minor saloon would do, especially if I could give it front discs and a built 1275. Fast, these were not. They were, however, fun to drive and easy on fuel.

The late, high-headlight versions are definitely prettier, IMO.

Lew Schiller
Lew Schiller
1 year ago
Reply to  ExAutoJourno

Nice examples can be had for under $12,000.

Ricardo Mercio
Ricardo Mercio
1 year ago

The old one doesn’t look like a proboscis monkey because yhe nose isn’t between the eyes and is therefore a forehead, so it looks more like a pillbug.

The Toecutter
The Toecutter
1 year ago
Reply to  Ricardo Mercio

Nah, the Gottinger Ei looks like a pillbug. In fact, that was one of its official names:

http://gtsupreme.com/schlorwagen-pillbug-1936/

Drag coefficient of 0.18 in 1936. That is a lower Cd value than any current car in production almost a century later.

Gilbert Wham
Gilbert Wham
1 year ago

Imagine a 1st gen one with a Rover V8 in it tho. With fat slot mags. Splendid.

Chris Hoffpauir
Chris Hoffpauir
1 year ago
Reply to  Gilbert Wham

It would be a death trap. Both terrifying and exhilarating to drive.

Lew Schiller
Lew Schiller
1 year ago

Nah – if your that concerned swap out the front drums for disc brakes and you’d be fine.

RootWyrm
RootWyrm
1 year ago

“Priority must be given to essential exports at present” – so must be a post-Brexit model.

MaximillianMeen
MaximillianMeen
1 year ago
Reply to  RootWyrm

Well, since Britain didn’t join the EC until 1973, more of a pre-Brenter model.

Ranwhenparked
Ranwhenparked
1 year ago
Reply to  RootWyrm

Their economy was…not in the best of shape at the time.

Mark Tucker
Mark Tucker
1 year ago

My wife adores the Morris Minor, particularly the pickup version. I suspect we’ll end up with one for her eventually. They are delightful little cars.

Outofstep
Outofstep
1 year ago

I think I might still be half asleep because I legit thought this was going to be about DC punk band Minor Threat and I was quite excited.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gx6_wrFZcu0

The Morris Minor isn’t a bad looking car and the 2nd gen version is definitely a more handsome vehicle. I didn’t think the first gen looked like a proboscis monkey before but I do now so thanks for that I guess.

Bob Jablonski
Bob Jablonski
1 year ago
Reply to  Outofstep

No Sheep

Ian Case
Ian Case
1 year ago
Reply to  Outofstep

“IN MY EYES, the Morris Minor isn’t a bad looking car….” was RIGHT THERE, man. It was right there…

Dusty Kornphartz
Dusty Kornphartz
1 year ago
Reply to  Ian Case

I Don’t Want to Hear it.

John Frank
John Frank
1 year ago
Reply to  Ian Case

It doesn’t look that way to me.

sprungweight
sprungweight
1 year ago
Reply to  Outofstep

Username checks out.

Dusty Kornphartz
Dusty Kornphartz
1 year ago
Reply to  Outofstep

Lurve me some Minnow Treats.

I saw those guys in 1982/3? at the Serbian Church Hall in Ecorse MI. Awesome!!!

Ophidia
Ophidia
1 year ago
Reply to  Outofstep

Came here for this.

Vie
Vie
1 year ago

Don’t forget the GPO van version as well.

You know, the one with the Rubber front wings… https://heritage.elettra.co.uk/motoring-icons/photo-17/5/

Larry B
Larry B
1 year ago

“priority must be given to essential exports at present”? Makes me think of the Magic Bus. You can’t have it.

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