Cold Start: Special Weekend Edition!

Nailvarnish

So, this is a bit of an experiment. I was excitedly bragging to my wife, Sally, driver of the money-incinerating machine that you can ride in and looks like a VW Tiguan,  about our traffic numbers recently, and how our percentage of women readers is greater than I’ve ever seen on a car site. That’s fantastic, because cars are for everyone, and we take that seriously. This got her thinking, and she decided to have some fun and celebrate our female-identifying readership, or, really, however you identify, as long as you like painted nails. That’s because she came up with a palette of automotive-inspired nail colors, and was wondering if, maybe, these existed as a thing in reality – Autopian curated car-inspired nail varnish sets – would people be interested in them?

The palette she picked has five car-inspired colors:

Fire Apple: Based on Hunter S. Thompson’s fire-apple red 1971 Chevy Impala convertible from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Yellow Beetle: Based on my own 1973 Beetle! VW called the color Texas Yellow, and it’s just a great, bright, friendly, plucky yellow.

Angelyne: An unashamed, confident pink, based on LA’s famous, enigmatic Angelyne, a woman famous for being on billboards and driving her pink Corvette around LA, and that’s about it

BRG: British Racing Green! The color of all those Jaguars and Bentleys fast enough to escape the clutches of Lucas, the Prince of Darkness

Pao Pow: Okay, so I got two of my cars in here. This one is based on my 1990 Nissan Pao, but the retro quality of this aqua-like color stands in for so many wonderful midcentury cars.

Sallypalette

It’s a good palette, with good car references. So, car people who paint nails or know people who do, is this something you might be interested as Autopian merch? We’re just exploring ideas at this point, but we’d love your input, so comment away!

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75 Responses

  1. As a fan of old Mopar colors, Plum Crazy and Go Mango might work. Top Banana and Panther Pink are close to your existing picks, so maybe a whole lineup of those 70’s colors could work if anyone is crazy enough to want their nails painted Sassy Grass or Butterscotch.

      1. I’m not just the resident designer around here, I’m also the resident goth (it wasn’t just a phase, mom!), so I fully support this suggestion.

        For all my skill with a ball point pen, I’m surprisingly bad with a nail varnish brush. This is why I pay someone to do it for me, being as I am a great believer in the dignity of other peoples labor.

      2. Just about anything in a dark hue (red, green, blue, violet, especially) would work. Plum Crazy, Midnight/Deep Wedgewood/Le Mans Blue, Red Wine, to name a few.

        Also, Vantablack courtesy of BMW… That’s just as dark as it can get.

    1. How about Mustang Mystichrome? Over the top pointless or possibly amazing.

      BUT it’s not sold retail, you must make an appointment for an authorized shop to put it on, and any left over is sent back to Autopian Enterprises…

  2. If you decide to sell these, I’ll buy a bottle of the Fire Apple. Not for personal decoration, but to match-mark parts which need to be clocked. My last thumb-sized bottle of ‘Hoe Red’* nail polish finally gave out a decade back, and paint pens, tho eminently more practical, just don’t have the same ethos. See, 2-3 decades back, most any junkyard would have a white Jetta with Sylvester or Tweety seat covers. There would invariably be a Nirvana or Jewel CD prominently visible, and, under the Social Services and Child Support documents, a tiny bottle of bright red nail polish.

    *as I typed that, it was clear that I need to retire that term: we’re well into the 21st century, and it’s derogatory. So, last use.

    1. Jeep Rust nail polish, guaranteed to get David Tracy’s attention! Buyer beware, he’ll make you feel all special when you first meet, but if you go home with him, you’ll discover your just another rusty rarity in his driveway trying to keep his attention.

  3. Didn’t Angelina Jolie have a bit about matching nail polish in the cheesy-but-kinda-good version of Gone in 60 Seconds, when they boost I think a pink Barracuda?

    Or is it the kinda-good-but-cheesy version? I confess to not being sure which one is which.

    1. I think the scene is with a Diablo in Pink. They wanted to know why it was in Pink.. and the camera pans behind them to show that it matched the woman’s dress.

      Then they get into it…
      I THINK Jolie and Nic Cage, had a brief very tight scene where she “had” to climb over the gear shift lever and he mentions… becareful not to damage the NON-SYNCRO mesh…

      Either way…
      I came for the 50 cars was deterred by the 68 GT350 (not the 73 Mach 1), and stayed for Duvall, Chi McBride and the SPINX.

      P.S
      There was some amusement to how the bad guys wanted to fight Memphis Reigns’ Crew. As they waited for the fight to happen, Memphis’ Crew wrapped a steel cable around the undercarriage of the car attached to a crane (I believe).. and eventually ripped it apart.

  4. If I were going to paint my nails, British Racing Green would 1000% be the color.

    I even looked for some once. But then I realized that it would look like shit after 1 day of doing proper work, so there wasn’t any point.

    You really need to make British Racing Green nail epoxy.

  5. Pretty sure my wife would enjoy Pao as a spring color. She was very sad British Racing Green is not available as a color on non-JCW minis* when we bought our last car… It’s a little ‘severe’ for a nail color, but maybe good in fall/winter?

    *There is a color called British Racing Green, but it’s metallic with a yellow hue, both of which disqualify it IMO, whereas the JCW color is that lovely traditional dark green

      1. I regret to inform Master Torch that I can only vouch for the F56 Cooper in that respect. I was behind a late model Countryman yesterday at a left turn. Its turn signals were… sinful.

  6. Do they still sell automotive touchup paint in the metal tubes with the nail polish style brush? Okay, they might not come off very easily, but they are available…..

    I still have a vial of 1999 Prius Green. Anyone want to buy it?

  7. “our percentage of women readers is greater than I’ve ever seen on a car site.”

    I neither paint my nails nor am I close enough with anyone who does to make use of this, but I did want to chime in to say this is awesome! It speaks volumes about the work you’re doing here that your audience has expanded beyond the “traditional” automotive demographic of white dudes with really bad taste in car mods. 🙂

  8. I don’t wear nail polish, but I would buy these. Might try them as nail polish, but maybe just use them to paint miniatures.
    I think my girlfriend would maybe like them as nail polish, too.

  9. BRG isn’t a vibrant enough color to hold up against the rest of the palate.

    I’m partial to Chromium Oxide, which is a bit “greener” and very rich. Plus, it’s a single chemical pigment, so QC never has to fret a bad batch.

  10. Hey, if you do that I might consider starting to paint my nails! Maybe I’ll paint my left pinky in the colour of my first car (wine red), and my right pinky the colour of my current one (white).
    BTW, I once started a conversation with a girl with the line “your nails are the colour of my car!”. It was the right amount of crazy to get her interested, and a good litmus test for me :-). Didn’t lasted long, but it was fun and ended in good terms.

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