You remember DARTZ, don’t you? Most recently, we showed you its exuberant little EV roadster project, Freze Froggy EV Beachstar, but I think most people still know the company from that time in 2009 when it was revealed that, finally, they would offer humanity the chance to sit on car seats made from whale penis leather. Relatedly, one of my great joys in life is that Leonard, the DARTZ Supreme Leader and DARTZ Vader himself will sometimes send me messages, and in a series of these I was able to detect something interesting: DARTZ may have designed the new swiveling evil-villain chair that Dr.Evil himself will be using in the maybe upcoming but still unconfirmed fourth Austin Powers movie. And it’s made of car parts.
Just to be clear, despite the existence of an IMDB page for what is currently just called Austin Powers 4, written by Mike Meyers and directed by Jay Roach, this fourth installment of the satirical British secret agent movie series has not been confirmed by anyone involved. Leonard of DARTZ did not confirm it, nor did he confirm that the custom chair he designed and had built by metal art house Nester Customs is intended for Dr.Evil if the movie were to actually exist.
He also did not deny it.
In fact, he sent me this press release:
DARTZ Movie Vehicle Department
This time our creation is near-automobile, but very cinematic. I am calling it The Supreme Throne This Trone was created by our colleagues from the Nester Custom studio, according to the sketches of corporation design-supreme-leader – DARTZ Vader and the creative advices of Leo.
This Trone is a mix between Mr. Evil chair from Austin Powers, Aladeen Trone from The Dictator and the DARTZ Motorz logo itself.
It took about 8 months to create this masterpiece, and as soon as Mike Myers said that Austin Powers 4 will either be or not – https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1218992/ we received permission to release this creation which either will be or not in part 4 of saga.
Thanks for clearing that up, Leo.
The chair that may or may not be Dr.Evil’s chair is, excitingly, made with plenty of car parts: brake shoes, intake manifolds, European license plates, transmission gears, a fan clutch, and so on.
DARTZ has contributed cars and props to movies in the past, so what I’m inferring from Leonard isn’t all that preposterous. DARTZ provided gold, armored Prombon SUVs for the 2012 Sacha Baron Cohen movie The Dictator:
…and provided the absurdly over-the-top, gold-bottled, Most Expensive Vodka in the World, Russo-Baltique for the series House of Cards, starring the now known to be creepy Kevin Spacey:
So, he’s done this before. This could be real. Which means if it is, then the movie is likely real, too, as there’s not a huge point to making a special Dr.Evil chair if you don’t have a Dr.Evil to put in it.
The DARTZ Movie Vehicle Department declines to comment one way or the other, but they were happy to provide me with pictures of the car-part-slathered chair, so you do the math.
I’m only okay with a fourth Austin Powers movie if the titular character is depicted as run-down, bloated and over the hill. I know what you’re saying, Mike Myers has that covered. And he does but I worry he’d want to look decent for a new movie and that’s not what is needed. I think I’d like to see a long vignette where Austin gets rejected by every woman he tries his lines on and end up going to a prostitute, not to pay for sex, but to cry because his mojo isn’t gone, it just died away. Or experiences impotence in a comedic manner, either one really.
Jason, while you are ….close… to correct, the arrows pointing at the armrests (paint gun handles?) aaaaaaare technically attached to cylinder head manifolds (could be exhaust, not intake?), the fact that they are pointing at the paint gun handles is driving me nuts. And I know that my peace of mind is what keeps you up at night, so do with this information as you see fit! ;P
oops. fixed it!
I think those arm rests are paint spray guns, mounted to V6 exhaust manifolds.
Also, let’s have a contest to identify the rest of the parts. The back of the seat looks sorta like a motorcycle fairing, or maybe the inside liner of one? Fan clutch mounted to where the headlight would be.
A fourth Austin Powers move would rank right up there as the other shifty movies mentioned. Unless Myerz is broke and owes the IRS millions I think he knows that franchise is spent. Maybe with offensive B list cast.
Bat wing fairing over a springer suspension? Rorschach recognition.
Torch, this is your new office chair right? It couldn’t be David’s because there’s not enough baked-in grease or other patina. And not enough Smart parts to be for Mercedes.
Anywho, this is properly bonkers. Well done, Dartz!
Perfection? I’ll take that with a grain of road salt coming from a guy who can describe a truck with visible body rust “rust free”.
No ERP*, no deal.
*Excrement Removal Portal.
As an on-again, off-again player of a certain Square-Enix MMO, I read that first line with more than a little trepidation.
Ive been putting rolling wheels on furniture since last century, and that one is going to tumble backwards at some point:
Imagine rolling backwards with two wheels first, so they have their “ground point” tugged well in towards the chair’s center, and leaning your body backwards at the same time, with allready all the heavy crap hanging out there. From there on it takes very little to get you “flying”, not looking very cool at all.
As a movie prop used a few seconds, I guess it will work and look cool. But it really should have some smaller wheels or some wider outriggers.
– But I would rather take a test ride in that thing than seeing another Austin Powers movie.
A lot of stuff in movies is highly impractical in real life. I started watching a stage combat channel on YouTube a while back and it’s amazing how many stories there are about costumes in movies that the actors could barely move in. Creative editing can still make it look good though.
It’s not truly a DARTZ creation unless it’s made with real whale penis leather.
That throne looks pretty uncomfortable with just bare metal for the seating surface. Perhaps Dartz could upholster it in the finest whale penis leather. Or maybe penis leather made from sharks with freakin’ laser beams attached to their freakin’ heads
After Goldmember, Love Guru, and the Pentaverate, I’m not really sure how to feel about a 4th Austin Powers
Goldmember was perfection.
Wow, 2002 was a terrible year for comedy movies. Goldmember might actually be the best one.
(Punch Drunk Love was a bit too drama to be considered a true comedy. About a Boy was funny but that’s romantic comedy)
David, I sure hope that wasn’t the only year you kept up with pop culture.
Well, that tears it. It has to have been *something* to have penetrated David’s pop-culture bubble.
I enjoyed the Pentaverate. Not great, but good enough.
I am an American living in Canada, my wife is the daughter of Croatian immigrants which makes us the target audience for the Pentaverate.