Home » Eddie Murphy’s Old Car Jokes Were Hilarious: COTD

Eddie Murphy’s Old Car Jokes Were Hilarious: COTD

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Car comedy is not something you see a lot of today. Reader Sid Bridge delivers some real auto laughs daily and Canopysaurus also has some great one-liners, but did you know that Eddie Murphy had some good car jokes back in the day?

This morning, Jason wrote a Cold Start about the futuristic cars of the 1980s with voice-based alert systems. These things were a bit silly, but really rad. Cars with voices were such a big deal that, in 1982 when a now legendary Eddie Murphy was early in his career, he did a stand-up routine about it. From D-dub:

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If you’re of an age that you remember these systems, then you also remember Eddie Murphy’s stand-up routine about them.

“turn off your fucking lights. wtf, you blind and deaf?”

MaximillianMeen followed it up:

“Hey, man! Somebody stole your battery. I say we go get the mutherfucker.”

Here’s a clip so you can hear it for yourself, the action begins at the 5 minute mark.

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Here’s another from CUlater:

When is a door not a door? When a door is ajar. Endless entertainment for young adult me back then. The wonders of technology!

Today, Thomas wrote about the electrified cars that lose tax credits this year. One of them was a Lincoln…wait, a Lincoln what? From Church:

I bet you forgot the … Lincoln Corsair Grand Touring existed

Nope. I NEVER knew it existed.

Poor Lincoln, it’s barely holding onto relevance. Speaking of Sid Bridge, this response to the latest Project Cactus update is a giggle:

I’m going to “cark it at mate’s farm” is going to be my new euphemism for something. I don’t know what yet, but that phrase is begging to be a euphemism.

Have a great weekend!

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(Topshot screenshot: Carson Entertainment Group/YouTube)

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Baltimore Paul
Baltimore Paul
13 days ago

Somebody, probably SNL?, Did an entire skit with a talking New Yorker (car) that talked like a New Yorker (person)

Sid Bridge
Sid Bridge
13 days ago

Thanks for the love. I’m so excited, I could just cark it at mate’s farm!

TheCoryJihad
TheCoryJihad
13 days ago

Early Eddie Murphy was the SHIT. Really, 1980’s, cocaine fueled comedy was the shit.

Michael Beranek
Michael Beranek
14 days ago

Question for Sir Edward: if somebody stole the battery, how does the voice function work?

Mike F.
Mike F.
14 days ago

When I think of standup comedians and car jokes, I think of Cosby and “200 mph”. Eddie Murphy’s stuff aged better, though (much in the way Murphy himself aged better).

Knowonelse
Knowonelse
13 days ago
Reply to  Mike F.

Or Cosby in his VW bug in San Francisco. “Just go around you idiot, just go around”.

Racer Esq.
Racer Esq.
14 days ago

Cat Williams has been keeping the car jokes alive.

Stephen Reed
Stephen Reed
14 days ago

Lincoln makes me sad, because it seemed like they were turning things around when they moved to their current design. Then they dropped the Continental… Then they stagnated yet again.

It’s like Ford has ADHD – They suddenly remember Lincoln exists, invest a bunch into it, then get distracted by the next shiny…

VanGuy
VanGuy
14 days ago
Reply to  Stephen Reed

At least Ford only has two brands to manage. Meanwhile, Stellantis…

Rob Schneider
Rob Schneider
14 days ago
Reply to  VanGuy

Uh, are you forgetting “Mustang”?

Lotsofchops
Lotsofchops
14 days ago
Reply to  Stephen Reed

“Sales didn’t double in two years? Guess we never shoulda tried!”

Raymond
Raymond
14 days ago

Get back in your Goonie Goo Goo mobile and get the fuck outta here.

Roger Pitre
Roger Pitre
13 days ago
Reply to  Raymond

You missed me bitch!

Beto O'Kitty
Beto O'Kitty
14 days ago

I once asked Matt when he was with J-nik if he could find the oldest joke in the automotive industry. After a couple of weeks he said he found it and emailed me.
What’s the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? The porcupine has the pricks on the outside! Thanks Matt.

Hoonicus
Hoonicus
14 days ago
Reply to  Beto O'Kitty

Dang whippersnappers, implying a joke from the eighties is ancient! I’m trying to not go off half-cocked before building a full head of steam like a politician getting cranky at the lack of a kick back!

Ash78
Ash78
13 days ago
Reply to  Beto O'Kitty

“Hon, did you take THE car?” –Karl Benz (true story, legend has it that his wife borrowed the prototype without permission and drove it to her mom’s for the day)

Phuzz
Phuzz
14 days ago

To “cark it” means to die, ie Lewin’s ignition coil died when he was at his friend’s farm. It’s British slang too.

Last edited 14 days ago by Phuzz
Rob Schneider
Rob Schneider
14 days ago
Reply to  Phuzz

So, in American speak, that’s buying the farm at the farm??

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