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Heeeyyyyyyy: Cold Start

Cs Lloydkid

Sometimes I’ll pick images for Cold Start from these vintage car brochures because the car is interesting, or there’s an interesting if tangential story, or I’ll just use it as a thinly-veiled pretext to talk about one of my own weird-ass agendas or fetishes. Today, though, my choices and motivations are much simpler: look at these bonkers photos! That’s it! These are pictures from a 1959 Lloyd Alexander  brochure and, well, just look at them.

That kid up there! Lounging languidly in the lavish luxury of a Lloyd! Those clothes, the panda, that look, it’s all just, well, so much. Let’s look at another picture from the brochure:

Cs Lloyddoorlady

Bam! Hey! Look who’s here, fixing you with an icy blue stare! It’s Houndstooth Hattie, the woman who fucking knows how to rock a suicide door.

Oh, Lloyd, you crazy diamond! You know, Lloyds were a bit more technically interesting than you might expect; they were ahead of their time in that the air-cooled inline twin engines they used were mounted transversely and drove the front wheels, like what became wildly popular a solid three to four decades later.

Cs Lloyd Engine

Back in the mid-’50s, these guys were the number three brand in Germany, after Volkswagen and Opel! And they sold these in America, even!

Just ask that kid up there.

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51 Responses

    1. As someone with a Panhard Dyna Z with front suicide doors I do find such doors to be indubitably cool but a challenge for people with mobility issues and also a challenge for people to maintain modesty while wearing skirts & dresses when getting in and out ( it was likely for more than reasons of fashion that that model is wearing such snazzy checkered pants in that picture.)

  1. “Kid, you gotta smile better than that. I’ve got a shoot with Houndstooth Hattie and her sister Shear-sided Sarah in an hour and I am NOT missing it! Gimme your A game!”

  2. In the real world, all that stuff in the map pocket would fall to the ground and scatter in all directions, including one piece that would catch a small breeze and land under the car at the exact center coordinate, a quarter inch beyond the reach of the longest human arm.

  3. That is just how a small non-VW german cars looked at that time.
    The first NSU Prinz and the (east german) Trabant looked very similar.

    The photo colorization is a bit heavy though..

      1. All I’m saying is that if you swap the stuffy for a tumbler of scotch and put a cigarette in his off hand you basically get Hugh Hefner in a kid’s body.

  4. This was the golden age of the pharmaceutical industry collaborating with the psychology profession in support of the military industrial complex’s research into mind control..

  5. Has there been a Cold Start or separate article on child seats over the years? Namely thinking of the Ford Tot-Guard that they highlighted in the features or safety sections in brochures well into the late 80s. It looks…claustrophobic.

      1. God’s honest truth, I thought the fold-down armrest in the front seat of my grandma’s ‘75 Riviera was a booster seat. Probably because that’s where she let me sit as we cruised down the road.

    1. There’s an often-reposted-to-/r/VintageAds mid-’50s Nash ad that shows a kid lounging on the passenger side of the car’s famous folding seats while Mom’s sitting in back with her feet up on the reclined passenger-side front seats and Dad’s driving. My stock joke for it is that at least the kid’ll slam into the dash feet-first and it’ll keep him outa ‘Nam.

  6. You know what we don’t get enough of in car ads these days – the ‘ol look straight-to-camera. Hey buddy! You like cars? What’s it gonna take to get you into a Lloyd Alexander today? Honestly, when I saw the illustration of the engine, my first thought was: “why is there a picture of a weird Futurama robot leaning back on a sofa and winking at me?”

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