Remember yesterday? A magical time in the past when the world was a slightly different place, Yayoi Kusama was still alive, and the only thing wrong with my Citroën 2CV was a broken shift linkage? That I fixed? I miss those days. Now, there’s something else wrong with my 2CV, and while it’s not huge, it feels like my car was zapped with some sort of high-energy entropy ray. Do we have those in orbit? Is that a thing?
I say this because both of the minor yet annoying failures that happened – the vanishing of the little rubber doohickey on the shift linkage, and this current problem, which revolves around a bolt suddenly bisecting itself – feel like instances where the order of the universe is just degrading a bit. Entropy is having a few small victories over order.
I noticed the issue when I started the car to get my kid from school to take him to a doctor’s appointment. It started fine, and it was shifting fine, thanks to yesterday’s quick repair, but then I noticed that the voltmeter was reading 11.8 instead of the usual 14.something it reads when running. Something was up.
I stopped and looked under the hood, checking the fuses first, since I have had issues with grounding out wires popping the alternator fuse before. It wasn’t that. I kept looking, and pretty quickly saw what was up:
Oh yeah. That doesn’t look right. That’s not supposed to be at that angle!
I got in close to get a better look, and the bolt and nut appeared to still be there, which surprised me? But then I gave it a tug:
Hmm, that’s not how bolts usually work.
Ohhh that explains it all. Why did this bolt decide to halve itself now? Was it just waiting for the shift linkage to crap out, just to have a failure buddy?
What’s annoying is that to get the broken bolt out, I think I’ll have to disconnect the exhaust manifold from the heat exchanger, since the head of the bolt is hitting the heat exchanger and I can’t slide it out. Why is this bolt so long, anyway? Why can’t I put in a shorter bolt just through that front hole?
I did get the alternator in position and got the belt on, but I still need to get that new bolt, pull the heat exchanger, and all that. That bolt could be many decades old; perhaps it was time. Maybe it was replaced at the same time the shift linkage bits were replaced, and that’s why they both relinquished their grasp on functional life at essentially the same time?
Maybe. But I’d rather believe there’s an orbiting entropy ray platform that has been targeting me and my cars. It would go a long way to explaining so many things that happen without forcing me to acknowledge my own shortcomings and failings.
So, whoever owns and operates the entropy ray: please knock it off. Point that thing somewhere else, already!
All photos: author
I dunno, this looks like purely enjoyable wrenching, as far as things go.
Yup. I have to replace a gasket in the rear cylinder of my Buell XB12SS. I wish I had something that easy to work on this weekend, instead of figuring out how to disassemble half of a motorcycle.
Man fixes cars with rocks and plumbing clamps and wonders why things keep breaking down.
Surely the work of outside forces.
At least the badly spliced and taped ground wire wasn’t the problem!
Although, I try to cut Jason some slack. It takes time to fix these things, but only 30 seconds to keyboard-warrior criticize. I appreciate that he shares with us and opens himself up to the pedantic feedback.
For many years, my neighbor had an old Subaru wagon with a license plate that said, “ENTROPY.” He is an energy engineer.
Jason could have a really good personalized plate with “NTROPRY” or a variation on that theme.
I think if there is ever going to be such a thing as a “high energy entropy” anything, it will have to be a blast and not a ray.
And entropy will never have a victory over order. Order surrenders. It yields.
Like a bolt.
Torch is always inspiring us.
I’m going to name my next avant garde college symphonic electro-rock band, Entropy Ray. This band is not to be confused with Hardigree’s favorite duo Fever Ray.
Pendant alert: The Knife is the brother-sister duo, while Fever Ray is a solo project.
I one-up your pedantry by correcting your spelling!
Oh no you got me!
*explodes*
Pedants untie!
You’re right. I hadn’t yet had my morning time energy elixir when I posted that.
That is known as a Gambler bolt because it has learned to fold em, and forgotten how to hold em.
This is the 2CV responding to your care and affection by letting its guard down and showing you the old injuries and pains it’s been hiding all this time.
Wouldn’t an entropy laser *lower* entropy? I mean, you’re definitely adding work energy to the system by pointing that thing. Maybe you have a lack of lasers and need more.
Coherent photons or overrated. They don’t compare to alternator bolts.
In that first pic, I was so focused on the combo black-and-yellow tape holding the wire in place that I didn’t notice the alternator was crooked.
Interestingly, it looks like the bolt let go in one instant (or close to it). Normally when they crack and fail over time, you’ll have corrosion in the cracked part and fresh metal visible when/where the bolt fails fully.
(Sing this corrosion to me – hey now, hey now now)
The taped wire resting on the alternator set up a bizarre mechanical resonance that resulted in fatigue failure of the bolt.
That sounds somehow less plausible than the sympathetic failure of “me next” tired parts demanding attention. But hey it’s gotta be something.
Nah, I was joking. Along with a minor friendly dig about still having taped wires lying all over the place.
With more tape, maybe the wire could just hold alternator in place. What could go wrong?
Old mechanic’s adage: “Don’t send tape in to do a ratchet straps job.”
It looks the length of the bolt is to help keep the alternator aligned so it maintains only one degree of freedom as the belt is tightened. However, usually there would be a bracket on the backside that the bolt goes through to keep the bending force on the bolt (at the exact location it broke) to a minimum. It would be worth checking to see if there is a missing bracket before finishing the repair.
I assume the bolt was taking all the force at this point and eventually work hardened and broke, that bracket would keep it from happening again.
Nice, that’s what I came here to say as well. Maybe it normally uses a different alternator with more closely-spaced ears on that side.
I think that might be the case. I briefly googled 2CV alternators and what Jason is showing seems slightly off. Still a long bolt but it seems to have less overhang. I did see a bracket that might be an engineering enhancement that could help prolong the bolt life.
The other thing that was apparent was the bolt should go in from the front. It looks like Jasons car has something blocking that which would explain why it was put in backwards.
Serious answer; how long was this thing sitting before you started daily-driving it and using it for crucial parenting obligations? (You really are trying to turn Otto into someone who leases a new Toyota every 3 years, aren’t you?) After tracking it and putting a good amount of stress on all the gazillion tiny parts in even a simple old car, that is.
It was in a weedy backyard at least 10 years, likely more. So everything should be well-seasoned!
“Point that thing somewhere else, already!”
Adrian’s Ford would like to have a word…
It follows time zones, that’s why the Capri got zapped first. Mercedes’ Smart got it next but that hasn’t manifested yet, David’s Jeep should be getting the zap about the time we’re reading this and Zoe’s TT will get hit sometime around 3 in the afternoon Jason’s time.
It had gotten temporarily bumped away from its usual position on 1600 Pa. Ave.
This bears all the hallmarks of those damn Iranians seeking revenge…
Now if they could only read a map and take out “The Beast”, preferably with a certain Turd inside at the time.
Maybe this is why my toilet is leaking?
“I love the smell of melting zip ties in the morning…”
When you said The Beast, I immediately thought of John Dodd’s Rolls Royce Meteor powered legend and thought how odd. Why would anyone want that magnificent creation terminated? Then I realized you went all political.
Huh, never would have guessed a 40+ year old Citroen would wind up needing such repairs. Wild.
That’s what happens when you start driving a car regularly that has been sitting. You quickly find all the stuff that was about to fail before. I wouldn’t worry too much about it. There’s so little to that car, there can’t be too many more gremlins hiding.
Fact! The gremlin:car ratio will always remain low.
What if the entire car is a Gremlin?
Then you have an exact 1:1 Gremlin:Car ratio.
And if the Gremlin has gremlins?
Then you have a movie franchise.
Don’t gas up the 2CV after midnight.
Was it fueled up after midnight?
John Pearley Huffman is lurking under a bush near your house and cackling while you attempt to figure out these issues.
I’m picturing Snidely Whiplash right now.
Or maybe Dick Dastardly. Yeah, that one.
Or Spagett!
Torch better be ready to get spooked then.
Of course this is where I find out about Yayoi Kusama’s death. Rough patch of notable deaths lately.
What Torch’s Listening To While Writing CS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHYIGy1dyd8
Definitely* Jewish space lasers.
*definitely not
I remember Click and Clack from the NPR Car Talk days explaining this. Basically, once you’ve given attention to a particular part of an old car, all of the other parts get jealous and start doing what they can to get your attention as well.
You’re going to be at this for a little while, although maybe it won’t be that bad given the number of parts a 2CV has relative to most other vehicles.
Several years back, I reupholstered the tan leather seats in my ’95 Miata. It took most of a weekend to do, but they were beautiful when I finished (they still are). The first drive with the new seats I started up the car..
…and the power antenna aerial failed.
The exciting thing about old Euro cars is that they will find new and inventive ways to experience entropy.
Whereas old Detroit cars tend to have the same damned thing fail repeatedly, despite fixing it multiple times.
Can confirm! My 300TD was weird vaccum-leak in the door-lock system, broken rear sway-bar link, bad shifter linkage bushing, wiper electrical ground-fault, and hard shifting because of a single ounce more tranny-fluid than was supposed to be in there whereas my Olds Delta 98 was starter, starter, alternator, starter, alternator.
Of course, if I bought even slightly higher quality components back then…
Interesting that the troubles started with the starter, but then alternated between the two.
Karma is a bitch. What did you do that really caused this is a better question you should ask yourself.
This is what happens when you fondle someone’s car at Pebble.
2CV is jealous of AZ1
LOL, now all fondling is done at home, not abroad.
What’s wrong with fondling a broad?
That’s my favorite fondlee. YMMV.
DITT-TOE
If there is an entropy ray out there, you’d better remember your tinfoil hat and maybe one of those lead aprons that imaging techs wear. You just never know.
So Torch should rub some dirt from his yard on his apron?
In cars, you’re either making payments or making repairs.
There’s no escaping the cost sink. Whether it be time, money, or a combination of both.
My spouse has noted that I have a rather stubborn determination to win against the ‘sunk cost fallacy’ game.
This repair will be the last repair….until the next one.
My track record is not good so far.
To balance the money and time commitments, I tend to prefer buying projects that are wiring basket cases, but otherwise good.
Cause wiring is MUCH cheaper to fix than mechanical or bodywork.
’04 Odyssee with ~150K miles started turning off randomly about two years ago. It would start again after some rest but seemed to start again faster if you moved the gear selector around a bit. Figured after a little research that maybe the neutral safety switch was failing so replaced it. Didn’t work. Brought it it to a a couple local shops who couldn’t repeat the issue or couldn’t diagnose it in the failed state. Finally threw one last pitch and bought a re-manufactured CPU (or C3PO) controller and it’s been great ever since.
Some times just a little bit more can get you over the hump.
By the way the two local shops didn’t charge me for their effort and they now get my business when needed.
LS400 cheat code activated!
Are you sure you can’t just tape it back together? Have you tried? 🙂
I’ve used strong zip ties for such repairs…
We had a customer that used large zip ties and gorilla tape to repair the broken bolts that hold the exhaust down pipe to the manifold….. said “repair” melted
It only melted when the entropy laser hit it!
Metal zip ties FTW
I guess people don’t have good sources of baling wire anymore.
I still keep a metal hanger in each of my cars. Mostly as a good luck charm. If I never need it I am happy.
When a muffler hanger broke on our ’80 Vanagon Westi many miles from civilization, I had nothing to tie it back up with. Fortunately a park ranger came by also with nothing to tie it back up with. Then remembered having picked up a freshly laundered shirt from the laundry from which we used the metal hanger to place the muffler bits in an adequate location.
I believe the orbital pattern of that ray from the satellite passed over me last Sunday, as the transmission on my RV crapped out, leaving me with no reverse, and then my washing machine died just hours later. Lets hope it moves on to some place more worthy of such things!
It hit me on Sunday too. DPF failed on my Sportwagen.