Remember yesterday? A magical time in the past when the world was a slightly different place, Yayoi Kusama was still alive, and the only thing wrong with my Citroën 2CV was a broken shift linkage? That I fixed? I miss those days. Now, there’s something else wrong with my 2CV, and while it’s not huge, it feels like my car was zapped with some sort of high-energy entropy ray. Do we have those in orbit? Is that a thing?
I say this because both of the minor yet annoying failures that happened – the vanishing of the little rubber doohickey on the shift linkage, and this current problem, which revolves around a bolt suddenly bisecting itself – feel like instances where the order of the universe is just degrading a bit. Entropy is having a few small victories over order.
I noticed the issue when I started the car to get my kid from school to take him to a doctor’s appointment. It started fine, and it was shifting fine, thanks to yesterday’s quick repair, but then I noticed that the voltmeter was reading 11.8 instead of the usual 14.something it reads when running. Something was up.
I stopped and looked under the hood, checking the fuses first, since I have had issues with grounding out wires popping the alternator fuse before. It wasn’t that. I kept looking, and pretty quickly saw what was up:
Oh yeah. That doesn’t look right. That’s not supposed to be at that angle!
I got in close to get a better look, and the bolt and nut appeared to still be there, which surprised me? But then I gave it a tug:
Hmm, that’s not how bolts usually work.
Ohhh that explains it all. Why did this bolt decide to halve itself now? Was it just waiting for the shift linkage to crap out, just to have a failure buddy?
What’s annoying is that to get the broken bolt out, I think I’ll have to disconnect the exhaust manifold from the heat exchanger, since the head of the bolt is hitting the heat exchanger and I can’t slide it out. Why is this bolt so long, anyway? Why can’t I put in a shorter bolt just through that front hole?
I did get the alternator in position and got the belt on, but I still need to get that new bolt, pull the heat exchanger, and all that. That bolt could be many decades old; perhaps it was time. Maybe it was replaced at the same time the shift linkage bits were replaced, and that’s why they both relinquished their grasp on functional life at essentially the same time?
Maybe. But I’d rather believe there’s an orbiting entropy ray platform that has been targeting me and my cars. It would go a long way to explaining so many things that happen without forcing me to acknowledge my own shortcomings and failings.
So, whoever owns and operates the entropy ray: please knock it off. Point that thing somewhere else, already!
All photos: author
Once you have replaced ALL the parts of the vehicle, it should run fine.
Then you start the cycle over again…
That’s when the first parts he replaced start to fail.
You’re getting swatted with the same entropy ray that’s whacking Adrian’s Capri. The UFO space aliens have switched from lasers to entropy weapons . Look at what they’ve done to your presidents brain.
What happened is you’re driving a vintage car around like its a Camry. This thing sat in a field in the South for what, a decade? The last thing it ever thought it was going to have to do again was pick up kids from school and do laps on an autocross course.
Not that I’m faulting you for doing it! But you have to give it a break. On average it’s probably been more reliable than any brand new Stellantis product. You’re thinking you’ve got bad luck.. I think the thing is enchanted with Unbreaking 3, maybe even Mending.
Life is nothing but an ongoing relentless battle against entropy.
We have our minor localized victories, until we too finally succumb.
Luckily you still had the hood prop rake with you.
Did you try fixing it with a rock? You should definitely try a rock.
Or perhaps a chainsaw
Those who dabble in the dark side of experimental physics and extreme witchery have been for decades past working on the de-entropiser. Although such research is forbidden, there will be some whose curiosity is both undimmed by legal constructs and even the risk of instant death.
Sadly because some laws are immutable, the bit about equal and opposite reactions being but one of these this explains your 2CV, someone somwhere is trying to use a de-entropiser.
Who put that bolt in backwards?
I think the nut is supposed to be at the rear, which would make disassembling it easier with vice grips and a wrench to remove the nut.
I think the easiest way to do this is saw the bolt head off, or saw the bolt short enough to remove it.
Or lots of wet towels and a cutting torch. The two CV was designed for farmers, correct? Acetylene is well known as being the farmer’s wrench.
Perhaps the nut is actually in the drivers seat? Entropy? I think not, these issues are Citroen certified “should have replaced all the bolts etc” footnotes in French in the back of the original Instruction booklet that was included in the sale of the vehicle. Usually found under the spare tire somewhere in the engine compartment.
You should be immune from the space lasers Marge Greene speaks of, but maybe it was friendly fire.
Honestly it’s probably because you are actually using it now, and everything that was only holding on due to a sedentary lifestyle is giving up at the same time.
I don’t see any anomaly here. Entropy seems to simply be doing its thing, which from my experience is enough for small failures in succession to occur in any french car. The broken bolt probably exceeded the projected life expectancy Citroën engineers were aiming at.
And almost certainly exceeded the life expectancy of the engineers themselves.
You own very old French car, what did you expect?
C’est bon 😉