It’s always interesting to see the cars chosen for ads made by those large companies that sell used cars, because it gives a bit of insight into what their advertising people think are cars people want to get rid of, and what cars people want to own. I rarely think these advertising people know Jaqueline Squat about what is actually cool or what people want, but it’s still interesting to see what they come up with.
Also, these ads tend to have a lot of de-badged cars, which is always fun, too.
The ad I’m talking about today is one that seems to be popping up every damn time I watch some video on the internetwork-computer; it’s an ad for Cars.com, and I think the cars chosen to feature are interesting, even if the message is misguided. At least, to me. Here’s the commercial:
I’m not crazy about putting commercials in here, because screw Cars.com, if they want an ad, they can damn well pay us, but I need to give you the context, so let’s all just promise not to use Cars.com based on this ad. If they show it to you another time and it convinces you, great, but this time? No way.
Okay, back to the ad; the premise is red there has gotten some kind of promotion, and wants to upgrade her car. This is her current car:
A Ford Festiva! Looks like a 1990 to 1992 one, based on the grille, which is the post-facelift version. It’s actually in remarkably good shape, and has a delightfully ’90s teal color scheme and scribble-stripe kit. Really, for people into ’90s nostalgia – a non-trivial-sized group – this thing is lit.
Also, it seems to be quite rust-free, which is surprising, because it also seems to be sporting a block heater plug:
…which suggests it’s from a cold climate, which further suggests snow and road salt, which is why I’m surprised how rust-free it looks.
For some reason, though, our protagonist feels she needs an upgrade, so she finds an “Italian Compact” for about $27,000:
It’s a Fiat 500, as we can see, but it’s also been de-badged:
These look strange without the little Fiat badge that reads like a nose on the real-world car. I think she’s made a mistake here, though.
Now, I like the Fiat 500; my mom has one, even, and I think they’re fun, stylish little cars. But is it a $27,000 upgrade from that Festiva? I mean, okay, sure, it’s absolutely safer, but I think it’s more cramped inside than the surprisingly airy Festiva, and that Festiva has character. It’s just more fun.
Sure, it has 63 horsepower, but it also weighs as much as a daydream, and you know what? It could be a manual! Those things were actually fun to throw around! And that unashamedly ’90s look? Imagine if, instead of dropping $27,000 on a car (one with a pretty mixed reliability rating) she put, say $10,000 into that Festiva – she’d have the best Festiva around! You could upgrade the interior, freshen the paint, get a fantastic sound system, and it would be way more fun than some modern Fiat.
The commercial does suggest the change in cars affects her boyfriend as well:
…that’s him in the Festiva. Here he is in the Fiat:
I mean, she can keep the Festiva and just tell the dude to lose the fucking hat, already.
There are more nicely de-badged cars here, all still obvious BMWs, Mercedes, and what I think is a Dodge over there on the left? Is that what that is?
Anyway, I think this woman is making a mistake. Keep the Festiva, put a little money into it to get it up to where you want it, and screw Cars.com and their pressure to make needless “upgrades.”
Don’t be fooled! I won’t stand for this Festiva erasure!
All images: Cars.com
I absolutely agree…tons of character in that Festiva and you could put in new speakers, lights, etc. for a lot less than the price of that newer car.
Also, [forcefully disregard] any workplace or coworkers who judge you for you car
I had a Ford Aspire in the same color scheme. I have no other commentary, this is more like me finally admitting to owning an Aspire in public.
Aspire-owners Anonymous is a judgment-free zone. 😉
The first step is admitting you own(ed) an Aspire
The first step is calling it an Ass-pipe.
I can’t find the video, but there was a local Subaru dealer who ran an ad mocking how badly “other dealers” treat customers, by showing a plaid jacketed used car dealer trying to sell a woman an old used car with $15,000 written across the windscreen, then cutting to her rolling off their lot in a new Impreza, having made the “right” choice.
Except, the old used car the other guy was trying to sell her was an immaculate Continental Mark II, which, even if classic cars aren’t your thing, at that point, buy it and quickly flip it, the dealer is making a rare mistake to your advantage
Loved my blue 1990 Festiva, aka Tiny Car.
Jaqueline Squat, my favorite vintage burlesque performer, makes yet another appearance at the Autopian! 🙂
Oh, happy days! 😀
Thank you!
Really, and if she wants him to class up the rest of his outfit, well, they just saved $27,000 by not buying another car, that could pay for a shopping spree at freaking Bijan (as Dave Tracy well knows, I believe that store is is go-to since he went Hollywood)
Is it Dave now? Has his California-ness gone that far?
Wasn’t he saying Costco or Walmart (or whatever it was) clothes are good?
Costco clothes are good – especially for working. Why pay a lot for clothes that are just going to get dirty?
(I’ve wearing some $16 CAT branded work pants in the factory right now)
When it still existed, I used to order from the Haband! catalog, had a job that required climbing around in warehouses and installing retail fixtures in gas stations, but that required business casual attire. They had wrinkle free dress shirts and permanent crease Botany 500 pants for like $15 each, looked good enough and if something happened, you just threw them away
I think I have those exact pants and they are AWESOME. The fleece lined are killer in the winter, too, especially on the motorcycle.
I still miss my Festiva, 16ish years after it died. My 500e that I had for about the same amount of time, but much more recently? eh.
I’d trade it for the Festiva, no question.
Is this ad trying to be a 20 second redux of Pretty In Pink?
That’s Duckie, right? What’s wrong with Duckie? Molly Ringwald really F’ed up when she ignored the bright quirky guy with great taste in music for the lame jock, or in this revision, the effete guy with a drawn-on mustache.
Not to give off a pervy vibe, given that I’m probably a minute and half away from the grave, but jeez, did I have a thing for John Hughes era Molly Ringwald.
She got the final word playing an air hostess in ‘Not Another Teen Movie’ !
Counterpoint: I’m neither a fan of commercials or Fiat 500s, but if there was ever a commercial that would tempt me…
https://youtu.be/siWVgAzhFC8?is=XqPiRtTg0zTThDtB
Literally the reason why I’ve owned an Abarth for the last decade and continue to be happy with it.
There is a drug ad with a thoroughly debranded roadster, but by the end I could still identify it as a 124 Spider.
I remember that one too. 🙂 Yes, it left quite the impression on me as well.
I don’t need to watch it to know which one it is.
But you better believe I watched it anyway!
Catrinel Menghia was (& probably still is) stunning
I keep seeing ads on FB for some company that pays cash for old cars and the cars they (or AI) chose to show as the junkers are of course more interesting to me than anything an owner would trade up to. Good to know I can get top dollar for my derelict ’77 Nova Concours or JDM Honda Domani.
If I had a nickel for every time I saw a stock photo of cars that was obviously taken in another part of the world (typically Europe)… What’s really funny though is when it’s a government agency that would have a whole herd of cows if you brought them one of the pictured cars to register.
Those ads aren’t for us. It’s for people who can’t even tell what the car is with badges.
Alright, I hear you and I agree that the Festiva is more interesting.
However, I will give cars.com some credit for putting her in a 500 instead of a de-badged Nissan Rogue, RAV4, et. al.
Yeah, she upgraded to something that’s still quirky and out-of-the-norm by the current crossover-pocolypse.
I might my ninja’d but that looks like an Avenger to me, on the far left.
Edit: dang, I see what looks like a longer roof, so I think carbon fiber sasquatch got it
What’s up with the cowboy standing in the background by that building? I think he may be loitering. Definitely leaning. And he apparently does so quite often because he’s still there when she gets back with the new car.
Jed Clampett with a new hat. He wanted to see the new car too.
Casing the savings and loan across the street. He’s got the employees’ morning routines and lunch breaks figured out, knows when the armored car shows up; now he’s just making sure he can hit the place when that one teller who’s obviously packing is safely tucked away at her station, since federal regulations don’t allow her to carry her gun inside and the business is too cheap to hire licensed security personnel.
That Festiva is a chick car. You can tell because the masculine form of the name is Festivus and Ford only built these for the ladies, not the rest of us.
I am all against stereotyping, but I would say the person behind the wheel of the Festiva could be described as a chick.
No?
Is stereotyping typing with only two fingers ?
Only if you use one finger on your left and one finger on your right hand.
I see what you did there.
Maybe when Ford has to resort to raining blows down upon the head of a competitor, they will say to themselves that there has got to be a better way.
I have some grievances to air regarding this commercial.
The airing of grievances occurs during Festivus.
Question from a typical old white male cis:
Does anyone think that Fiat dude upgrade is an upgrade over the Ford guy? Fiat man looks like an ass. Someone who gets really upset when he inevitably spills coffee from his small porcelain cup while I am about to hoon my small Italian car.
But yeah, Ford guy needs to loose the hat.
Opinion from a middle-aged white male cis: They both look insufferable but at least Fiat-man can help me fine-tune my wardrobe.
So, she traded her 1991 Festiva for an Italian compact. Her boyfriend, based on his attire ripped straight from a character from A Different World, is also a 1991 model. Which she also traded for an Italian, which may or may not be compact. It’s hard to tell since he’s also debadged.
But don’t feel bad, It took me a few tries to notice that, too. It’s one of those artistic “parallel” things that old while male cis like you and I sometimes struggle with.
I think I would rather be an Italian compact than a Korean subcompact.
If used Fiat 500s cost $27k now, we’re doomed
we are kind of doomed because the new ones are not 27K or less. and also they are doomed because you can only get the e’s in the US.
Just my thoughts. Here in Austria the 500 Hybrids start at under 20k (including tax). I hope the odo in the one in the commercial is still in the triple digits.
If (redacted company) is proudly advertising that you can get ripped off by buying (redacted vehicle) at hugely inflated markup to what it’s actually worth, maybe Stellantis can buy them?
I think it would be a great fit.
My brother got a reckless driving ticket for doing reverse donuts in a rental Ford Festiva. You can absolutely have fun in one!
Soo…a reverse shitty-whip?
The 500 looks surprisingly great without the badge.
All cars look better without badges.
That’s a Dodge Caliber! I bet Cars.com is thinks it’s worth $30k!
They’re only off by $29,500!
“$59,500 is still a bargain!” – Cars.com probably
Was looking for someone else to note that it was a Dodge Caliber, thanks you! Those were truly bad cars. I always wondered what the SRT-4 versions where like but the regular ones were terrible.
I heard that were kinda fun to drive but you still had to deal with the terrible-ness of the rest of the car
Honestly, losing that hat is probably worth $27k.
Did she notice her salesman high-fiving the other guys in the showroom as she drove off the lot?
What a D-Badge.
I went to the local “Fiat” dealer and test drove the new electric one a few months ago. They had the nerve to quote me $52k all in. Those guys were drooling at the thought of me falling for that.
52k for a 500e? Surely sir is having a bit of fun there, I hope?
The quoted me full MSRP on a car that say on the lot for 6 months. Then added on every single warranty package they could think of.
“But why aren’t these cars selling?”
Who doesnt need a windshield protection package for $2000?
WTF?!!
Jesus. Currently we have five cars in the family: a quite luxurious 17-foot-wagon, another perfectly serviceable daily, a small short-commuter, a roadster, and a Wrangler. With the exception of the latter, they all passed inspection within the past year. Adjusting for inflation, their sum price was about the same.
She’s also lost about 6” of headspace in the car.
The Fiesta/Pride/121 is a very airy vehicle that is a hoot to ram through all forward gears. 10/10, would abuse one again.
it was like driving a go-kart when you got fresh tires!
As a former owner (and admirer) of a 2013 500 Abarth, where is she spending $27k for any 500??
cars.com 🙂
As another former Abarth owner I had the exact same thought.
Also more than a 500 cost new, so a great way to advertise you have insanely high prices for things?