It’s Time To Rate All The 1979 Cars That Could Be Ordered With Flaming Something Decals On Their Hoods

I was just a little kid in 1979, but I remember the way that year felt, if that makes sense. There was a certain energy in the air, a sort of last groan of the 1970s, a gleeful and simultaneously mournful exclamation as though somehow we were all aware that the upcoming 1980s would mean the earliest pre-production mule of what we now call modernity. There’s books that say this, too, it’s not just me. This sort of amorphous feeling, this last yelp of wildness, I think found its best, most earnest expression in one very specific place: car hoods. Specifically, a small set of car hoods that could be ordered, right from the factory, with huge decals that all had some sort of flame-related motif or look or just general tone, even if the decal was ostensibly of a bird or a dragon or a snake or a whatever. I believe there were six cars you could buy in 1979 with such hood decals, so let’s walk through them and, why not, vote on which we think was the best? What could it hurt?

You’d think with their often iffy quality control, 1970s cars generally might want to avoid any suggestion of flames shooting out of hoods, but those were different, bolder times. Okay, let’s get into our contenders, starting with what is unquestionably the most famous of the flaming-something-on-the-hood genre: the Pontiac Firebird Trans Am:

The Firebird is really the archetype here, and it’s well-earned. That majestic bird, angrier before angered birds were a thing, makes for a real spectacle out on that hood. With wings outstretched, head turned and spitting what I assume is a jet of flame and not a partially-digested meal for the Firebird’s young, the decal commands the entire hood and is impossible to ignore. Sure, it’s been mocked as a screaming chicken for years, but if we look at it with un-jaded eyes, it’s a powerful bit of ornithological design.

One quick question, though: do you see it as a smaller bird with a flame-like halo, or do you see the outer flame-feathers as part of the bird’s overall body? Sometimes I see the smaller bird in the center as the “bird,” ringed in flame, and sometimes I just see it all as one flame bird. I’m curious what most people see now.

This is the closest that we have to a non-American entry in the flame-hood-decal world, even if it is sold under an American brand: the Plymouth Fire Arrow. The Plymouth Arrow was a captive import, a rear-wheel drive Mitsubishi Lancer Celeste. The Fire Arrow version wasn’t just a bunch of decals, but also came with the 2.6-liter MCA Jet engine, which was an interesting design that included a third valve per cylinder in the cylinder head that was used to inject air to “swirl the fuel-air mixture.” These also had discs all around!

But we’re here to talk hood graphics, not tech. Here there are some very stylized flames emanating from that V-shaped arrowhead, and it’s interesting to note how oddly similar the style of flame is to the Firebird’s or, as you’ll see, almost all of these hood graphics. It almost feels like there was some sort of unspoken agreement about how the general style of flaming hood graphics should look, which includes flame shapes that are also oddly reminiscent of the serifs on traditional Hebrew typography. Maybe there’s some Kabbalistic angle here? I should look into that.

GM was heavily invested in flaming hood decals, and wasn’t satisfied with just offering them for Pontiacs. Chevrolet got a novel take on the genre for their car/truck/ute El Camino, with the Royal Knight option package, which was really just a trim package that included all the stickers. The hood decal motif included a pair of symmetrical dragons, seen in profile, blowing serpentine flames at one another, with the negative space between them forming what appears to be a knight’s helmet, something I just realized right now as I’m typing this sentence. Cool!

Americans are strangely obsessed with the trappings of monarchy when it comes to cars, especially for a country formed to get the hell away from all those kings and lords and crap. The 1970s American automotive landscape was full of Monarchs and Crown Victorias and heraldic crests and all that crap. It’s odd. But, that’s still a striking flaming hood graphic, even if it is a bit light on the flames.

Someone at GM must have really felt the broad, flat El Camino hood was ripe for some fiery art, because they had an entirely separate sticker trim level for the El Camino’s badge-engineered GMC sibling, the Caballero. The version was known as the Caballero Diablo, and featured a huge demon head on the hood, with massive flame-hair erupting in two large wing-like sections. The design of the face has a certain ’60s Tiki-style look about it, which is a fun motif for a car – well, truck, I guess, especially a GMC, because it feels pretty unexpected.

Of course, all the Big Three needed some kind of flame hood art, and you can’t expect Ford to sit this one out. Ford’s hood-art entry has perhaps the most tenuous claim on the flames part of the equation, but design-wise, it definitely has elements that could be interpreted as flames. This is the Mustang King Cobra, which came standard with the 2.3-liter turbo four engine making 116 hp, or you could get the five-liter V8 making 140 hp. That hood scoop was just for looks, but, more importantly, it framed the hood-cobra, which reared up menacingly, its other sort of hood open wide, and, yes, maybe flames surrounding it.

A cobra is pretty much the only snake you can use a frontal image of and make a compelling graphic that doesn’t look like an obelisk with a tongue, too.

Finally, we come to the now-AMC Spirit-based AMX, which had the most straightforward of all the flaming hood art decals, because it’s literally just flames. Well, flames around the name of the car, but still, there are no birds or reptiles or demons or helmets involved here, just the pure flames of AMX. And, these flames fit stylistically with all the other flames, because that’s just how you do it.

The big 4.9-liter V8 managed to dribble out an embarrassing 125 hp, further reminding us that the AMC V8 was, let’s be honest, a real boat anchor. These things weren’t quick, but, really, that’s not a big deal, because you want everyone to have plenty of time to really enjoy and contemplate those three flaming letters, right?

Okay! Now’s the big test! You’ve had a chance to see and consider all of the flaming hood art available in 1979; so which does it best? Time to make your preferences known to us all:

The New Photoshop Beta’s AI Image Generator Does Some Weird Things To Cars

Another Reason To Be An Autopian Member: I’ll Draw You A Damn Car

There’s A Little Guy Hidden On The Side Of Most U-Haul Trucks