Just What The Hell Are They Going To Do With That Stuff?: Cold Start

I think we’ve established quite well that I enjoy, perhaps with a mild and unashamed perversity, automotive brochure images that show trunks and cargo areas packed, often tightly and intensely. You’re not here to judge, remember. There’s a lot of creativity in these depictions of well-crammed cars, especially for the automakers that don’t rely on tidy sets of matching luggage. This 1978 Saab 99 brochure is a great example of that; just look at all the crap they have crammed back there! It’s amazing! Well, amazing and maybe a little baffling once you start looking at the stuff, which leads you to wonder just where the hell these people are going, and just what the hell are they planning to do when they get there?

Here’s let’s take a closer look at what’s in the back of that Saab. Computer! ZOOM and ENHANCE!

Okay, let’s try to do some inventorying here. What do we have: a watering can, some hose or perhaps electrical cable in a large coil, a television set, a couple of oars, I think a ladder, something with at least one wheel and a handle – is that a manual, engine-less lawnmower? There’s a tartan bag that could be a wheeled golf bag, but I see no clubs; there’s a plant, some sort of red cylindrical shiny thing, something that I think is a shelf? Then there’s, of course, a huge bird cage, with bird cages being oddly popular for this sort of thing. There’s what I think is an ornate lampshade, and possibly a lamp back there, a large orange-striped duffel-sort of bag, a long, light-wood something that could be furniture or maybe a sled, another light wood thing that could be a shelf or stand? There’s a white something that could be a colossal marshmallow or a life preserver, and a staff with a ring on top whose purpose I can’t even guess at. Blowing bubbles? Winding something up?

So, what’s the common thread here? What would you do with all this stuff? Should I be concerned? Is there a bird in there?