Imagine you’re a friendly wasp, just hanging out on the armrest of an empty BMW i3 one second, and the next you find yourself careening toward the other side of the car, being showered with glass. That’s what happened in real life, and while you may be wondering whether this is actually worthy of a blog, too bad. I’m showing you this bug.
Folks, this is groundbreaking stuff here. As far as I know, there has never been a side impact crash test conducted on a wasp, and as the poor insect may have given its life in favor of the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety’s groundbreaking yellowjacket research, I’d like us all to at least appreciate the results of this experiment.
Behold, the IIHS’s side impact crash test being conducted on a 2017 BMW i3:
Why was I watching BMW i3 crash test videos? Well, I’m in the process of potentially buying an aftermarket battery from China, and I’m giving the company some feedback on some of the structural changes I’d like to see on the pack before I take shipment.
More on that later, but for now, let’s talk about that bug. What it’s enduring is the side impact crash test, which involves a 3,300-pound moving deformable barrier (whose height is meant to replicate the front bumper/grille of a modern SUV) driving 31 mph before striking the driver’s side. (IIHS has since changed this test so that it’s replicating a 4,200 pound SUV driving 37 mph).
As you can see, the i3’s rather sophisticated crash structure — which consists of a carbon fiber life module atop an aluminum drive module — handles the impact quite well, as do both dummies, who are protected with side airbags.
The wasp, though? It was either hanging out on the window/armrest on the passenger’s side, or it was flying. In either case, the BMW was shoved out from underneath the wasp. In fact, let’s have a look at where the impact began and where the i3 ended up:
You can see in the image above that the i3 is to the right (to its left) of the tape line on the floor, which is aligned with the car’s centerline tape.
The distance between the car’s centerline-tap and the tape line on the floor shows you how far the i3 has been displaced by the sled — that’s clearly more than a car width. What does this mean for our friendly wasp? Well, let’s talk it through. The wasp enters the picture at about 0:34 on the top left of the screen, just above the rear dummy’s forehead:
If you listen carefully, you can hear the insect scream. “OH SHITTTTTTT. WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING OMG OF ALL CARS TO LAND IN ITS THE CAR IN THE MIDDLE OF AN ACTIVE SIDE-IMPACT CRASH TEST EF MY LIFE!”
OK, so technically you can’t hear it say all that, but I’m pretty sure it’s flapping its wings in Morse code and saying something along those lines. Anyway, it’s at this point that the wasp enters fight-or-flight mode, which in its case are the same.
“OH SHIT I’M ABOUT TO GET COOKED BY THE DRIVER’S SIDE OF THIS CAR BECAUSE, THOUGH I MAY BE REMAINING STATIONARY IN ONE REFERENCE FRAME, IN THE VEHICLE’S REFERENCE FRAME I’M MOVING QUICKLY. VERY QUICKLY. PARTICULARLY, QUICKLY TOWARDS AN AIRBAG ABOUT TO SLAP ME INTO OBLIVION,” the Morse code reveals.
As if to add to the risk of hitting the left side of the car, a number of projectiles enter the wasp’s airspace.
“WHY IS THERE THIS MUCH TEMPERED GLASS?” [strategically flaps wings, does matrix]. “NICE TRY!” our friendly wasp Morse-codes as it avoids glass and pulls up on its yoke as hard as it can to adjust roll and pitch to try to match the car’s speed so as not to eat that airbag.
It does so successfully, flapping and flapping and flapping with all its might to move with the now squealing and sliding Carbon Fiber Wonder From Leipzig.
The video reveals our friendly wasp flapping like an absolute hoss, dodging glass, and moving backwards toward the camera at a shockingly impressive rate that prevents a collision with the airbag.
Everything seems to be going great, with the wasp grinning and shouting in an almost arrogant way. “NICE TRY, SiO2-BASED AMORPHOUS SOLID! [does matrix again]. “I’M ABOUT TO BE THE FIRST WASP TO EVER SURV—”
BOOM!
A shard of glass hits one of our warrior’s left engines, sending it spinning out of control.
“MAYDAY MAYDAY,” the Morse code reads.
The wasp reaches for a nonexistent parachute before smashing into the dummy’s thigh and bouncing hard.
Then the video just stops.
What the heck, IIHS? What happened to our wasp friend? I’ve scoured all of the IIHS safety reports, and though they mention Head Injury Criterion and all sorts of leg and pelvis injury measurements, they neglect to actually talk about the star of this small film. Disappointing.
In any case, we pour one out for our friendly wasp, who likely gave its life so that we can have at least a visual understanding of what might happen to a bug in a carbon fiber car actively being T-boned. I’m sure this footage will be analyzed by scholars around the world for years to come.
All Screenshots: IIHS
Top graphic images: IIHS; DepositPhotos.com
“Imagine you’re a friendly wasp” – I have a pretty good imagination, but this is too far.
I can’t imagine any scenario where a wasp resembles anything near friendly. Especially a yellow jacket.
We had some decently friendly ones last year. They built a nest in a tree outside my front door. You could walk by the nest, do yard work around it, and they never bothered you.
Then a storm came and knocked the nest out of the tree, so they were living in a rain-soaked nest on the ground and still didn’t sting anyone.
Then a family of raccoons ate them.
This is why wasps are generally unfriendly.
The wasp probably came out of the crash better than a Dodge Super Bee would.
They should have tested this El Camino.
Damnation!
David burying the lead…
“ I’m in the process of potentially buying an aftermarket battery from China, and I’m giving the company some feedback on some of the structural changes I’d like to see on the pack before I take shipment.”
And we are talking about wasps????
I know David is in the US, but this firm in Germany has i3 battery upgrades as its specialty:
https://mandrill-engineering.de/en/
Very interesting, thanks for sharing! His i3 is already a 120 Ah. Wondering if he is going to either add an older i3 to the fleet, or try one of those Chinese batteries that are even larger…
There are no unlucky wasps. There are wasps who get what they deserve and wasps that are currently getting away with it.
Yes the wasp life cycle is gratuitously nasty. They make the xenomorphs in Alien seem like cuddly bunnies by comparison.
When a bee stings me, I almost feel sympathy. Yeah, it hurts, but the bee dies. As a large, solitary creature, I have a hard time relating to its militantly collective priorities but I have to give it credit for giving its all.
Wasps are an entirely different story. I worked pruning in orchards as a kid and there’s no worse surprise than lifting one of those milk cartons at the base of a young tree and setting off a storm of wasps zeroing in on you with shocking efficiency. You can run, but not fast enough. And unlike bees, those stingers just keep plunging away once they find you.
And don’t even get me started on tarantula hawk wasps. Seeing one of those monsters dragging a giant spider to a hole they buzz into the ground with unimaginable speed and knowing what’s going to happen to the paralyzed arachnid definitely makes me think “Nuke it from orbit… it’s the only way to be sure.”
Thanks for that, I was perfectly fine thinking cicada killers were the biggest wasps around.
“I’d like us all to at least appreciate the results of this experiment.”
I very much appreciate another dead asshole Yellowjacket!
So to be clear, this has connoting to do with the Hudson Wasp (1952–1956)?
Don’t neglect the Vespa.
Thanks for making me realize Vespa means wasp. I should have realized that ages ago.
I guess you were unaware that BMW, jealous of the success of Trunk Monkey secretly tested their own take on the theme: Cabin Wasp.
And, as one might expect, it changed directions multiple times without signaling.
It is obviously clear that the wasp could not have screamed – the cabin overpressure would have knocked the wind out of it, gasping for air while searching for the best words.
The wasp could sting the airbag and put a hole in it! Does it sting crash test dummies too? 😛
I mean, a wasp in the car could induce a freak-out and driving into the path of a SUV.
Yep, this is it. This is the content I pay for right here. You’re welcome, non-member readers.
Yeah! Slacker non-members…
Member Discord, non-member Slack? That seems fair.
I’m trying to come up with a joke about how a vespa got in an i3, but I can’t make it fly.
I acknowledge your Vespa comment. Mine came later. Yours is better.
Holy Friday afternoon, Batman. It is time to get DT to a weekend! He’s out here doing CSI on a wasp murder (rather than a murder wasp).
Was a bug, little bug, hardly there
How he felt, what he dreamed, who would care?
Without any evidence
(His flaws were many)
He was full of confidence
(Some people haven’t any)
Didn’t have much common sense
(It’s highly over-rated)
He just knew that he’d come through
-Randy Newman
Soon David, soon the Pixar movies will come. Oh yes, they will come.
As far as ways to kill wasps go, this might be a bit extreme. Entertaining, but extreme.
Since moving out to the country, I’ve seen a truly impressive array of things with stingers. I have to spray for them pretty frequently, as our house has real wood siding and eaves and that seems to attract certain species. But generally, they don’t bother me.
Except the European Hornet. Those things can fuck right off. They’re massive, aggressive, and they aren’t even a native species. I’ll kill one of those any chance I get.
“Friendly wasp”?? They are the assholes of the insect world in my opinion
My sentiment exactly. I am a big proponent of bees, and pretty much all pollinators, but screw wasps.
Worse, it looks like it might be a yellowjacket. They’re even worse-tempered than the average wasp. It was probably trying to sting the side-curtain airbag out of sheer meanness.
Likely so, trying to sting the airbag after its attempts to sting the crash test dummy failed.
If it did survive, the technicians checking out the damage were in for a nasty surprise.
Is it just me, or has Jason finally managed to infect David?
I had to do a double take to confirm this wasn’t a Torch article.
Unlucky wasps? How about John Jacob Astor?
The first one was quite lucky.
The fourth one slightly less so.
Too soon!
PETA would like to have a word with IIHS and their abhorrent care towards all of nature’s forms of life.
Said no one ever.
GOOD.
As a two-time wasp survivor – I hope the experience stung.
Yep this video ends too soon. I think that sudden dive might have saved him, kept him going the same direction as the glass fragments.
Also what are the wheels on the test sled, are they from a truck? 5 lugnuts, they look familiar.
They look like off-the-shelf BBS alloys to me.
Looks like Ford Crown Victoria or Ford Taurus snowflakes from the early 1990s
I was just going to say a 95 Lincoln Town Car
92 Crown Victoria 15″.
Poor bug. I love bees of all stripes. Also, dang, this is the DT I love to see… the Jason whimsy has infected our literal engineer friend!