Imagine you’re a friendly wasp, just hanging out on the armrest of an empty BMW i3 one second, and the next you find yourself careening toward the other side of the car, being showered with glass. That’s what happened in real life, and while you may be wondering whether this is actually worthy of a blog, too bad. I’m showing you this bug.
Folks, this is groundbreaking stuff here. As far as I know, there has never been a side impact crash test conducted on a wasp, and as the poor insect may have given its life in favor of the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety’s groundbreaking yellowjacket research, I’d like us all to at least appreciate the results of this experiment.
Behold, the IIHS’s side impact crash test being conducted on a 2017 BMW i3:
Why was I watching BMW i3 crash test videos? Well, I’m in the process of potentially buying an aftermarket battery from China, and I’m giving the company some feedback on some of the structural changes I’d like to see on the pack before I take shipment.
More on that later, but for now, let’s talk about that bug. What it’s enduring is the side impact crash test, which involves a 3,300-pound moving deformable barrier (whose height is meant to replicate the front bumper/grille of a modern SUV) driving 31 mph before striking the driver’s side. (IIHS has since changed this test so that it’s replicating a 4,200 pound SUV driving 37 mph).
As you can see, the i3’s rather sophisticated crash structure — which consists of a carbon fiber life module atop an aluminum drive module — handles the impact quite well, as do both dummies, who are protected with side airbags.
The wasp, though? It was either hanging out on the window/armrest on the passenger’s side, or it was flying. In either case, the BMW was shoved out from underneath the wasp. In fact, let’s have a look at where the impact began and where the i3 ended up:
You can see in the image above that the i3 is to the right (to its left) of the tape line on the floor, which is aligned with the car’s centerline tape.
The distance between the car’s centerline-tap and the tape line on the floor shows you how far the i3 has been displaced by the sled — that’s clearly more than a car width. What does this mean for our friendly wasp? Well, let’s talk it through. The wasp enters the picture at about 0:34 on the top left of the screen, just above the rear dummy’s forehead:
If you listen carefully, you can hear the insect scream. “OH SHITTTTTTT. WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING OMG OF ALL CARS TO LAND IN ITS THE CAR IN THE MIDDLE OF AN ACTIVE SIDE-IMPACT CRASH TEST EF MY LIFE!”
OK, so technically you can’t hear it say all that, but I’m pretty sure it’s flapping its wings in Morse code and saying something along those lines. Anyway, it’s at this point that the wasp enters fight-or-flight mode, which in its case are the same.
“OH SHIT I’M ABOUT TO GET COOKED BY THE DRIVER’S SIDE OF THIS CAR BECAUSE, THOUGH I MAY BE REMAINING STATIONARY IN ONE REFERENCE FRAME, IN THE VEHICLE’S REFERENCE FRAME I’M MOVING QUICKLY. VERY QUICKLY. PARTICULARLY, QUICKLY TOWARDS AN AIRBAG ABOUT TO SLAP ME INTO OBLIVION,” the Morse code reveals.
As if to add to the risk of hitting the left side of the car, a number of projectiles enter the wasp’s airspace.
“WHY IS THERE THIS MUCH TEMPERED GLASS?” [strategically flaps wings, does matrix]. “NICE TRY!” our friendly wasp Morse-codes as it avoids glass and pulls up on its yoke as hard as it can to adjust roll and pitch to try to match the car’s speed so as not to eat that airbag.
It does so successfully, flapping and flapping and flapping with all its might to move with the now squealing and sliding Carbon Fiber Wonder From Leipzig.
The video reveals our friendly wasp flapping like an absolute hoss, dodging glass, and moving backwards toward the camera at a shockingly impressive rate that prevents a collision with the airbag.
Everything seems to be going great, with the wasp grinning and shouting in an almost arrogant way. “NICE TRY, SiO2-BASED AMORPHOUS SOLID! [does matrix again]. “I’M ABOUT TO BE THE FIRST WASP TO EVER SURV—”
BOOM!
A shard of glass hits one of our warrior’s left engines, sending it spinning out of control.
“MAYDAY MAYDAY,” the Morse code reads.
The wasp reaches for a nonexistent parachute before smashing into the dummy’s thigh and bouncing hard.
Then the video just stops.
What the heck, IIHS? What happened to our wasp friend? I’ve scoured all of the IIHS safety reports, and though they mention Head Injury Criterion and all sorts of leg and pelvis injury measurements, they neglect to actually talk about the star of this small film. Disappointing.
In any case, we pour one out for our friendly wasp, who likely gave its life so that we can have at least a visual understanding of what might happen to a bug in a carbon fiber car actively being T-boned. I’m sure this footage will be analyzed by scholars around the world for years to come.
All Screenshots: IIHS
Top graphic images: IIHS; DepositPhotos.com
Punchy David is fun.
Can you reach out to the IIHS and see if they have the extra footage stored on a hard drive somewhere?
David, never change.
But do tell, how did you even notice the wasp in the first place? Were you watching this on a 70 inch screen?
This is why I paid for membership! But where is the entomologist comment explaining everything about the air stability of a wasp, or it’s structural integrity?
Turns out they have done crash tests on wasps. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10184765/
Not racist or anything.. but wasps just need to fukc off.
I work HVAC.Big fan of pollinators—but not evil stinging-death flies. One unit I serviced had nests covering an area perhaps one foot by 18” —under a slanted panel with a 22’ drop directly behind me.
NOT where you want a nasty surprise. And your instincts are to jump back away. Not good
This is what we come here for