Home » Rolls-Royce Makes The Series II Cullinan Look Weird Before Mansory Can

Rolls-Royce Makes The Series II Cullinan Look Weird Before Mansory Can

Rolls Royce Cullinan Ts
ADVERTISEMENT

Ever since the car was birthed into existence, a handful of customers have bought vehicles and then spent even more money on aftermarket bits to make their machines a little showier. Obviously, high-end automakers don’t like that, because it means less money on the table for them. While some may have slightly more litigious reputations than others, there’s another solution, especially for companies capable of in-house customization — just beat the tuners to the punch. This is the Rolls-Royce Cullinan Series II, and well, just look at it. Seems like a pre-emptive strike against aftermarket customizers of questionable taste, right?

First, a little background: While many high-end automakers have internal terminology for facelifted models, Rolls-Royce is one of the few to have a consistent signifier in each actual model name. From a branding perspective, it’s an excellent idea. Not only does it instantly date Series I models, it has this traditionalist ring to it that fits oddly well.

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

The Cullinan was already one of the oddest-looking luxury SUVs on the market, offering the visual impression of a Hackney carriage for people with Cayman Islands accounts. However, while old one was never accused of being pretty, the simple front valence elements with horizontal emphasis worked. The new one? Well, it looks like the stylists for Goodwood have discovered a copy of “Need For Speed: Carbon” because it’s rocking angular air inlets like it’s the mid-to-late aughts. There’s also more than a whiff of Lamborghini Reventón to the new front bumper, which is odd, because the Cullinan is about as performance-focused as a narrowboat. Add in dripping daytime running lights that run down the fascia like ruined eyeliner, and the bright beacon of an illuminated grille, and you get a sense that Rolls-Royce could be trying to give Mansory a run for its money.

P90549021 Highres Rolls Royce Cullinan

Around back, the theme of oddly outdated cosmetic alterations continues with new false exhaust tips that look far chunkier than before and a shiny faux skid plate befitting of a mainstream crossover. The false exhaust tips are particularly funny because we’ve spent the last decade or so going for thin bezels on everything — flat-screen televisions, mobile telephones, laptops, watches, all that stuff — and yet Rolls-Royce is surrounding the new Cullinan’s exhaust outlets with chunky chrome pieces that would’ve made great bangles 15 years ago. Is this a minor quibble? Sure, but in this price bracket, nits matter.

ADVERTISEMENT

P90549025 Highres Rolls Royce Cullinan

However, I certainly can’t complain about the new 23-inch billet alloy wheels on the Cullinan Series II. They are absolutely fabulous rounds of twisted, polished metal far more interesting than anything available on the outgoing model. Attention all manufacturers doing the black-wheel-with-machined-faces thing: This is how you fill a wheel arch.

P90549022 Highres Rolls Royce Cullinan

Likewise, the interior seems sensational, as it should be in this echelon. Rolls-Royce has been busy porting over features from other models, so the new Cullinan gets the infotainment system from the Spectre, along with the illuminated fascia panel from the Ghost and Spectre, just to smarten things up a bit. However, the real showstoppers lie in the materials, because they’re what makes a Rolls-Royce cost so much.

P90549020 Highres Rolls Royce Cullinan

ADVERTISEMENT

For those who find the creaking of leather vulgar, a new fabric option called Duality Twill. According to the marque, “A full Duality Twill interior can incorporate up to 2.2 million stitches, 11 miles of thread, and is the product of 20 hours of construction.” Astonishing, isn’t it? Oh, and if you’d prefer to sit on hides, you might be interested in the new Placed Perforation option, which uses leather perforations like pointillism to effectively paint a picture in the leather. In this case, a depiction of clouds. How cool is that?

P90549012 Highres Rolls Royce Cullinan

So, the Rolls-Royce Cullinan Series II looks even more fabulous on the inside and even more gopping on the outside than ever before. Perfect for valeting at Nobu, right? Expect it to start at a price that’s eye-watering to most, and for production to run through 2029 at the maximum if Rolls-Royce wants to keep its promise of going all-electric by 2030.

(Photo credits: Rolls-Royce)

Support our mission of championing car culture by becoming an Official Autopian Member.

ADVERTISEMENT

Relatedbar

Got a hot tip? Send it to us here. Or check out the stories on our homepage.

Share on facebook
Facebook
Share on whatsapp
WhatsApp
Share on twitter
Twitter
Share on linkedin
LinkedIn
Share on reddit
Reddit
Subscribe
Notify of
41 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
SonOfLP500
SonOfLP500
18 days ago

When I visited BMW Welt, the BMW-brands super showroom next to the BMW Museum in Münchkin, it was nice to see all the cars together in a pleasant, welcoming atmosphere, except for the Cullinan, which exuded an obnoxious air of “Fuck off, peasant, you can’t afford me.”

Last edited 18 days ago by SonOfLP500
EricTheViking
EricTheViking
17 days ago
Reply to  SonOfLP500

Munchkin? You mean Munich?

SonOfLP500
SonOfLP500
17 days ago
Reply to  EricTheViking

Yes. A friend always refers to it as Munchkin, which appeals to my under-developed sense of humour.

NosrednaNod
NosrednaNod
17 days ago
Reply to  SonOfLP500

I fully support this energy. I refer to the formerly Torro Rosso/Alpha Tauri F1 team as “Arby’s” for simuler reasons.

WM
WM
18 days ago

It looks like a car designed in that Automation game

Dodsworth
Dodsworth
18 days ago

I thought this was one of Jason’s, “Look what AI came up with” stories. Mom was right, money does not buy class.

Mark M
Mark M
18 days ago

Oooh – can Adrian “fix” it?

MATTinMKE
MATTinMKE
18 days ago
Reply to  Mark M

Nothing but gasoline & a match will fix that.

Tim Cougar
Tim Cougar
18 days ago

Are the gauges digital? I’m sorry, but at 400 grand you should be getting physical gauges. Nothing about a two-dimensional screen says “craftsmanship”.

Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
18 days ago

YES, FINALLY, SOMEONE DOING CLOTH (oh, sorry, “twill”) SEATS!!!!!

SonOfLP500
SonOfLP500
18 days ago
Reply to  Stef Schrader

The Toyota Century would like a word in your shell-like.

Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
17 days ago
Reply to  SonOfLP500

we don’t get those here

SonOfLP500
SonOfLP500
17 days ago
Reply to  Stef Schrader

🙁

Last edited 17 days ago by SonOfLP500
Phuzz
Phuzz
17 days ago
Reply to  Stef Schrader

Cloth seats are better than leather in every way. I will die on this hill, (reclining in comfort, the cloth neither too warm nor too cold)

Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
17 days ago
Reply to  Phuzz

no need to die on a hill when you’re correct

Box Rocket
Box Rocket
16 days ago
Reply to  Stef Schrader

Volvo’s been offering wool for a few years now. It’s lovely, much like in the Century that LP500’s son mentioned.

Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
16 days ago
Reply to  Box Rocket

Hell yeah. I missed Volvo’s wool, but I really, really hope it keeps catching on. If Rolls — Rolls! — can offer a compelling cloth, darn near anyone can and feel okay about it.

OrigamiSensei
OrigamiSensei
18 days ago

Congratulations, Rolls-Royce. I didn’t think you could possibly make the Cullinan any worse, and yet you’ve outdone yourself. Hands down it’s the most hideous thing being made on the road today, and I’m not feeling that as exaggeration or a hot take.

Rick Garcia
Rick Garcia
18 days ago
Reply to  OrigamiSensei

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

BunkyTheMelon
BunkyTheMelon
18 days ago

A face only a mother could love matched with a babyshit green-yellow interior.

AlfaWhiz
AlfaWhiz
18 days ago

Yes, but does it come with a Rich Corinthian Leather subscription as standard?

sentinelTk
sentinelTk
18 days ago

Those DRLs are totally trying to look like monocles, right? I can’t be the only one seeing this……I swear Rolls just thought, “How do we make people seeing our car feel poorer? I know! Monocle!”

Parsko
Parsko
18 days ago

I have not even read this yet, but my first reaction is that every other electric SUV fell off the top of the ugly tree and this landed on the ground. Woof woof.

The Dude
The Dude
18 days ago

Ooof that’s one ugly car.

getstoneyII (probably)
getstoneyII (probably)
18 days ago

I don’t see a problem. It’s not really mimicking any other design language in any meaningful way, and that’s all that really matters to these buyers. It doesn’t have to be the most capable or best value (which obviously it isn’t in either way), it just needs to be distinctive, comfortable, and white-glove certified.

In a way, it just comes down to the cache. Slazengers may not be the best tennis ball for all styles of play, but it certainly lets one know that they are playing with something different and expensive. All that really matters is that it’s not a Dunlop that’s found at the YMCA or the multipurpose public park.

Last edited 18 days ago by getstoneyII (probably)
Parsko
Parsko
18 days ago

Your analogy is gold.

Alexk98
Alexk98
18 days ago

The angled intakes on the front look remind me of the BMW iX. I hate it.

Jmfecon
Jmfecon
18 days ago
Reply to  Alexk98

I used to disliked iX. Started crossing with them more frequently. Given the fact that this is the closest to a wagon that i can get from BMW where I live, I am starting to look at it with other eyes.

Alexk98
Alexk98
18 days ago
Reply to  Jmfecon

The front end I really don’t like the rear end is fine, but the interior is extremely neat, and given both BMW and EV depreciation, once they get into the 30k range in a couple of years they’ll be an extremely interesting used option.

Jmfecon
Jmfecon
18 days ago
Reply to  Alexk98

Yes, exactly! Finding one with a decent battery pack or under warranty will put them into the “buyable” territory. Even with that front end, which I totally agree is not desirable at all.

Jmfecon
Jmfecon
18 days ago

It is just following the angular design trend from its parent company.

I want Adrian’s take about this. No offense about your opinion Thomas, just like his opinions too.

“A full Duality Twill interior can incorporate up to 2.2 million stitches, 11 miles of thread, and is the product of 20 hours of construction.”

I don’t care, I would like mine with the leather of 20 and something of the finest cows available. If I could/would buy something like this.

Squirrelmaster
Squirrelmaster
18 days ago

It’s been a few decades since I have found a Rolls Royce to have an attractive design, so I was prepared to find this ugly from just the top shot alone. Looking at the remainder of the photos just made me think “This looks like what a non-licensed video game version of a Rolls SUV would look like”. The proportions are certainly awkward, and the styling is terribly inconsistent, but worst of all is it still somehow manages to look rather generic. I have my doubts that I’ll ever see one on the road, but even more I have my doubts I’d even notice it if I did.

Last edited 18 days ago by Squirrelmaster
Rusty S Trusty
Rusty S Trusty
18 days ago
Reply to  Squirrelmaster

I’ve seen a few of the old ones and a few Bentley SUV’s too. They definitely don’t stand out like you should expect from a Rolls or a Bentley. When I see a Continental or even an old Rolls I notice. Not so much with the SUV’s.

Squirrelmaster
Squirrelmaster
18 days ago
Reply to  Rusty S Trusty

Exactly. I think Bentley does better about having presence and being noticed, but even the Bentayga blends in more than it should. But as you say, the older cars just…have presence you notice.

Rusty S Trusty
Rusty S Trusty
18 days ago

If there is an antithesis to what I want from a car this is it.

Urban Runabout
Urban Runabout
18 days ago

There’s a Kuwaiti Prince who lives in BelAir who took delivery of a Cullinan shortly after they were introduced.
He immediately sent it out to be wrapped in his signature shade of Purple.

Amschroeder5
Amschroeder5
18 days ago

“A full Duality Twill interior can incorporate up to 2.2 million stitches, 11 miles of thread, and is the product of 20 hours of construction.”

Ironically this is overtly stating that the interior isn’t handstitched (200k stitches an hour is not humanly possible), at which point who flipping cares how many hours it takes a machine to stitch a pattern? Multiple machines likely, since a sewing machine sewing at 5,000 SPM at 14 SPI will sew 9.9 yards of seam per minute (3 hours per mile).

Parsko
Parsko
18 days ago
Reply to  Amschroeder5

You think the rich can do math past how much their dividend pays out????

Lockleaf
Lockleaf
18 days ago
Reply to  Amschroeder5

If I could build a fully upholstered interior in 20 hours myself I would be amazed. That isn’t an impressive amount of time for “hand crafting”. Well, it is, its impressively SHORT.

Amschroeder5
Amschroeder5
18 days ago
Reply to  Lockleaf

Exactly. I seem to remember ultralux cars constantly bragging about the handcrafted of all their stuff, so it was extremely amusing to just say “yeah humans don’t do this”.

Ranwhenparked
Ranwhenparked
18 days ago

Remember, in Rolls-Royce parlance, this is a “High-Riding Car (HRC)”, because “SUV” is vulgar or something.

From the people who brought you “SAV”

41
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x