Home » Someone Killed The Unkillable $350,000 Rezvani Tank And Now It Sits On Copart Like Your Rusted-Out Cavalier (UPDATED)

Someone Killed The Unkillable $350,000 Rezvani Tank And Now It Sits On Copart Like Your Rusted-Out Cavalier (UPDATED)

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I’ll be honest with you: I never really understood the appeal of the Rezvani Tank. I guess there are people out there who do understand the appeal of a Jeep Wrangler JL with a video game-type future-warfare body plopped on it, because at least a few of this things have been sold, enough that one has now ended up on the legendary Copart broken-car auction site, just like all those old Sebrings with flood damage or the Cavalier your cousin’s brother’s friend’s dad’s dentist’s kid rolled down that embankment. The email we got from Copart states that this Rezvani Tank is “bulletproof,” but apparently it’s not truck-proof, as the rear quarter panel that got hit shows. Now the Rezvani sits on a Copart lot in Florida; per the auction site, the truck was once worth $354,241, making its current bid a steal at $80 grand!

Looking at the pictures of the 6.4-liter HEMI V8 Rezvani Tank, the damaged area doesn’t look that bad; the rear wheel is off (perhaps the studs are sheared?) and what appears to be a fiberglass fender is all beat up and torn:

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Tank 1

UPDATE (Nov 14, 2023 3:40 P.M. ET): A representative from Rezvani has emailed us to provide more context:

An 18 wheeler at very high rate of speed ran a red light and crashed into Tank. The Tank driver walked away. An EMT witnessed the accident stated that had he been in any other car he would not have survived. Just wanted to share the full story with you on how well this armored tank protector its occupant. I hope this gives you more context on the facts on how this tank ended up in this condition, which is very important to your story.

Assuming that is fiberglass and not kevlar or carbon fiber, I suspect that all of the bulletproof material is used for the cabin area, because why bother bulletproofing the rear wheelwell? I am a bit surprised that this amount of damage to the rear quarter, the rear bumper, and, it seems the rear hub and possibly the axle, was enough to total the thing. The mechanical parts should be available from Jeep, right? But I suppose those body panels are in pretty limited supply. And perhaps there’s some frame damage there? It’s hard to tell.

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Tank 2

The rest of the body all seems to be in pretty decent shape, though, so if you’re an experienced Jeep mechanic with some fiberglass (?) skills, this could be a hell of a deal.

Of course, in the end you’d still be stuck with a vehicle whose interior is about as airy and inviting as a mausoleum, but a bit less cheery. Especially in the back:

Tank Int

Yikes, look at it in there!

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Copart made a little video showing off this mean machine, so you can feel like you’re right next to an immobile, fucked-up Rezvani Tank!

Also, I’m not exactly sure who owned this before, or what sort of person chooses the “Tank Military Edition” model, but if you do, you get, in addition to the bulletproofing, “20 security features,” some of which seem to be activated from this control panel:

Tank Controls

Look at that! You blinding lights front and rear, strobe lights, door handles that deliver electric shocks, a smoke screen, and pepper spray, which I assume is directed outside the vehicle and not, say, through the HVAC vents. No wonder this thing is bulletproof; if you actually use any of that crap, of course people are going to want to shoot you!

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What are the legal implications for this stuff? Like, if you use that smoke screen while driving, and you cause a couple poor randos behind you to drive their RAV4s into trees, are you on the hook for that? Or if your blinding rear lights cause someone to drive into a ditch? Or do you even care?

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It’s really difficult not to see this thing as just a ridiculous car for the insecure asshole within us all, but maybe, just maybe, if you can pick this one up for like a quarter of its original selling price, it’d actually be worth it? Maybe? I mean, it is still just a Wrangler under there. Well, a Wrangler with an underbody explosive protection system and some nifty rear side marker lamps on that massive D-pillar.

The listing says this one has the stock 3.6-liter inline six, but the photo above looks like the 6.4-liter V8 making 500 ponies — which you’ll want if you have a heavy, bulletproof getaway car. The 3.6 won’t cut it. Oh, and this thing has a thermal night-vision system!

Tank 3

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For a car that puts up such a big show and has a giant pricetag, this relatively minor damage totaling the whole thing seems a bit…odd. It’s like seeing some massive, muscled guy talk a lot of shit and throw around some chairs at a bar, only to knock himself out cold when he accidentally bangs his head on a doorframe while throwing back a shot of tequila. Then, while on the ground, he pees himself. [Ed Note: To be fair, we don’t know how bad the crash was, so the analogy is maybe a bit flawed. Maybe it was a massive wreck! -DT(See Update Above).

I’m pretty sure this is the first one of these to show up at a Copart lot, and that in itself feels like a cause to celebrate. I’m curious to see where this thing ends up!

 

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David Burgenmeyer
David Burgenmeyer
8 months ago

Just another overrated n overpriced junk pile! Just like battery powered gimmick vehicles will all end up sooner than later! Why would anyone be duked into buying a supposed tank that has fiberglass panels n other parts on it is just WoKe b brainwashed! Just goes to show that stupid people are still breeding even more and more! Obviously some people have more money than brains! Do your research n stop getting so caught up in the emotional moments of junk that’s painted nicely isn’t that great!

Defenestrator
Defenestrator
7 months ago

I’m genuinely impressed that you somehow turned a V8 gasoline “look how manly I am” toy into a diatribe about “WoKe”

Lotsofchops
Lotsofchops
8 months ago

An 18 wheeler at very high rate of speed ran a red light and crashed into Tank. The Tank driver walked away. An EMT witnessed the accident stated that had he been in any other car he would not have survived.

lol okay mr Rezvani rep, keep it in your damn pants. I’m no accident detective but with the minimal amount of even scuffing anywhere else on the TANK, it looks like it was a very glancing blow. Maybe a Tercel would’ve been shredded but about anything else would be fine.

Last Pants
Last Pants
8 months ago
Reply to  Lotsofchops

Well but see it looks glancing because how tough Tank is. Lol. I agree. Doesn’t look like it rolled over or started on fire. Most rigs can take a hit on the passenger side with no harm to the driver

TOSSABL
TOSSABL
8 months ago
Reply to  Lotsofchops

Uh-huh. That damage looks much more like from a parking bollard as someone suggested than a semi, much less one at a very high rate of speed. PPI definitely needed here, not corporate spin

Evan M
Evan M
8 months ago

Apparently controversial opinion: I like the look of it. I don’t like the price or the implications surrounding buying/owning one, but it looks cool.
EDIT: On second glance I think it is because it looks like a softened version of the Bowler Wildcat

Last edited 8 months ago by Evan M
BOSdriver
BOSdriver
8 months ago

I have seen some modified Wranglers at this price point so I don’t think the price is too bad. Do I want it? Nope, not at all.

JaredTheGeek
JaredTheGeek
8 months ago

I really hope Tavarish sees this. He is the only one I can think of that would make this bad of a decision for our entertainment. It would also be a break after that P1 rebuild.

Gubbin
Gubbin
8 months ago

Clear title? Bet it was abandoned after a collision, and the former owner is back in their petrostate. Natural resource curse is a hell of a drug.

Robert M.
Robert M.
8 months ago

I can’t believe anything larger than a car with 5 lug rims being “heavy duty”.

Thxcolm
Thxcolm
8 months ago

Really, wouldn’t the level of douchery already have standard blinding lights front and rear w/o the aux switch for more?

BigRed91
BigRed91
8 months ago

This is 100% going to get bought by a youtuber

DialMforMiata
DialMforMiata
8 months ago

And nothing of value was lost.

Thxcolm
Thxcolm
8 months ago
Reply to  DialMforMiata

The insurance premium alone, yikes.

Beater_civic
Beater_civic
8 months ago

I want a normal car with smokescreens and strobe lights way more than that … thing. They didn’t even keep the round Jeep headlights! That is just truly a plug-ugly vehicle.

I’ve never really grasped the “military-adjacent” look at all. Or is it more Batmobile than military? Like when this thing’s old owner gazed on it, or when he (99.99999999% chance here) looks at his tricked out 2500 or whatever replaced it, what does he SEE?

I was never really into comic book/superhero stuff so the aesthetics are lost on me. But that is a lot of cake for one turd of a broken Jeep.

FiveOhNo
FiveOhNo
8 months ago
Reply to  Beater_civic

I -am- into comic books, and I don’t get the point of this travesty, either.

VanGuy
VanGuy
8 months ago

I had an insightful discussion on Reddit about Rezvani before I deleted my account…it’s all for show; actual armored cars are typically far more discreet and practical-minded. This is just “VIP cosplay” in comparison.

Not to mention there’s lots of reports of mechanical problems with these things.

…which is a shame, because I do admit they look cool.

Lockleaf
Lockleaf
7 months ago
Reply to  VanGuy

It does seem like the best way to avoid getting shot is to avoid getting seen. Limit opportunities, limit risk. While you might be able to get me if you know my destination, if I’m in a heavily armored Jetta or Tahoe or Honda Odyssey, its gonna be hard to find me anywhere else in the mix of traffic.

Vetatur Fumare
Vetatur Fumare
21 days ago
Reply to  Lockleaf

In Italy, back in the 1980s, one of the most common armored cars was the Fiat 131 (aka Brava), precisely for that reason. Now that I’d like.

Rusty S Trusty
Rusty S Trusty
8 months ago

The person who bought this probably instantly regretted that decision. When it was rear ended they probably told the guy at the body shop to do everything they can to be sure it’s declared totaled so they can get out from under it on another person’s insurance’s dime.

Toobs-N-Stuff
Toobs-N-Stuff
8 months ago

so under the hideous kit car body, this thing is just a jeep?

what kind of moron would spend $350k on that?

Rusty S Trusty
Rusty S Trusty
8 months ago
Reply to  Toobs-N-Stuff

The kind of moron with the delusion that their car needs to have shocking door handles and a smoke screen, apparently.

Last edited 8 months ago by Rusty S Trusty
Steve Schriefer
Steve Schriefer
8 months ago

First, how insecure of a human being does one need to be to own something like this.

Second, who spends that kind of cash for a vehicle that uses cheap Amazon sourced Chinese toggle switches that don’t even line up. One would expect something a bit more bespoke for the money and the ability of the fabricator to properly align said switches. With the obvious inability to do something so simple on such a small part makes me concerned with the overall quality of every aspect of this “vehicle”.

Third, your vehicle can’t even withstand a pit maneuver without the wheel falling off and rendering the occupants stranded. This does not bode well for personal protection.

For these reasons, I am out.

Wuffles Cookie
Wuffles Cookie
8 months ago

First, how insecure of a human being does one need to be to own something like this.

I am currently in Dubai. I have seen at least four of these on the road (with maybe a 5th parked in front of a posh hotel). Based on my impression of the drivers: young offspring of the Emirati royal family with too much money, and Russian oligarch’s offspring who are here dodging the draft.

When your social crowd is all driving Lambos and G-Wagons, you have to do something to stand out.

Aaron Slater
Aaron Slater
8 months ago

Maybe they misunderstood their slogans and backed into the blue?

Gee See
Gee See
8 months ago

A certain Canadian prime minister used to say He likes his pepper on his plate.. the context was the security apparatus pepper sprayed a whole bunch of protesters at an APEC summit (Hey SF!) years ago.

https://www.cbc.ca/player/play/1640771139611

David Lorengo
David Lorengo
8 months ago

Hmm, no james bond style ejector seat? I’m out.

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