It’s Halloween, which means kids will soon be bouncing off of the walls revved up on candy and adults get to do something a bit too daft one last time this year. There are a bunch of folks out there with cars that already fit the occasion. One of them is the case of one unfortunate Florida Man™, who decided to make his Chevrolet Silverado look like a U.S. Customs and Border Protection truck, only it was something way more silly. His ‘Booty Patrol’ truck has caused a stir with law enforcement. Turns out, this is a common thing all over America. All of it is ridiculous and we can’t stop looking at it.
I’ve often said that once I get old, I want to become a local news anchor. Sometimes, local news gets patently ludicrous, yet the journalists and anchors take each story with the kind of gravitas you see in a court trial. That takes some serious professionalism and I applaud local news teams for it. I say that because if the story of Gabriel Luviano of Bradenton, Florida rolled across my desk, I’d be sitting there crying laughing as I am right now.
This story, which is beginning to blow up around the net, was sent in by a reader who goes by “B.” Thanks B! Everything you’re about to read is dumb, so kick back and laugh with us on this Tuesday morning.
At midnight, Florida’s NBC2 News published a super serious story. According to the station, 18-year-old Gabriel Luviano of Bradenton, Florida was pulled over by police for his ‘Booty Patrol’ Chevrolet Silverado 1500 LT. The DeSoto County Sheriff’s Office saw his truck as no laughing matter. According to NBC2 News, the traffic stop ended after Luviano was cited for displaying lights in his wheels and for having red and blue lights. Florida Statute 316.2397 is pretty clear that you cannot run a civilian car with red and blue lights:
A person may not drive or move or cause to be moved any vehicle or equipment upon any highway within this state with any lamp or device thereon showing or displaying a red, red and white, or blue light visible from directly in front thereof except for certain vehicles provided in this section.
According to NBC2 News, Luviano’s citation is just $113, which seems like a cheap lesson to learn about what colors of lights you can and cannot run. A simple switch to amber lights will correct that issue.
However, the police aren’t done, and they want to know if Luviano has been impersonating a law enforcement officer, from the DeSoto County Sheriff’s Office:
The DeSoto County Sheriff’s Office is reaching out to raise awareness about a vehicle equipped with red and blue lights that has been impersonating law enforcement, and it’s not just happening here in DeSoto County, but in several other counties across Florida as well.
The vehicle is a white, Chevy Silverado with green decals. The license plate tag is H05F41.
If you or anyone you know has been pulled over by this suspicious vehicle or has any information related to these incidents, please do not hesitate to reach out to the DeSoto County Sheriff’s Office Criminal Investigative Division, at 863-993-4700.Your cooperation is crucial in helping us address this issue and ensuring the safety of our community.
NBC2 News has a whole video about this and you have to watch it for the full effect. One anchor says “…his white Chevy truck outfitted with red and blue flashing lights. Even has decals that make it look like a U.S. Border Patrol vehicle. But instead of saying ‘Border Patrol,’ it says ‘Booty Patrol.'” The other anchor concurs as they say “yeah, big difference.” The delivery of these statements is gold.
Luviano says he’s just trying to make people laugh and he isn’t pulling people over or using the lights outside of car shows. Gage Goulding, the journalist behind this story, interviewed Luviano to see why this truck exists:
Gage: “Was your intention in building this truck to make it look like you’re impersonating a police officer?”
Gabriel: “No. It wasn’t. It was just to have a little fun, you know? It was never my intent to pull over people or nothing. I mean the truck alone was like $7,500,” he said. “Everything else, like another $5,000. I was just bored, you know? And I just decided on that.”
Goulding clarifies that the $7,500 was just for the decals. The $5,000 was spent on a bright lighting package including RGB wheel lights and presumably the red and blue lights. The interview continues:
Gage: “That’s a lot of money just to be bored.”
Gabriel: “Yeah, I know man. But just to have fun, you know?”
Luviano alleges that some police loved the truck, from NBC2: “I have videos of cops coming up to me and they just want a picture.” However, he later notes that while a lot of folks dig the truck, many hate it. I get that. If you don’t see the “Booty Patrol” decals on the truck, you might think it’s a real Border Patrol truck. I’m sure for some people out there that’s more than just unsettling. Those people aren’t laughing at this.
It doesn’t sound like Luviano is trying to be a cop but perhaps he took a joke too far. Luviano is not exactly the infamous Jeremy Dewitte, another Florida Man™ who has been jailed multiple times for impersonating an officer for more than 20 years now.
The incredible thing about this is that Luviano isn’t even doing anything new.
It seems like every other state has its variation of the ‘Booty Patrol’ car. Since 2021, Jacob McGennis out in San Diego has been driving a Ford F-150 Raptor (above) that also looks like a Border Patrol truck, but that one says ‘Thot Patrol.’ The truck even has a cringy website complete with merch and decal kits for various vehicles.
Scroll through Instagram and you’ll find more interpretations of this idea from a person with a bagged Infiniti in Connecticut:
To a Crown Victoria in Hawai’i, complete with a “CLAP EM” license plate:
There’s another Booty Patrol in Michigan, another in California, one in Utah, the list goes on. Since McGennis of the ‘Thot Patrol’ truck sells decals to make your own, it’s unsurprising that variations of it have been seen elsewhere, like in my state of Illinois. He also sells a decal pack to turn various vehicles into a “Simp Prevention Vehicle.” As I said, it’s all a bit silly with a dash of cringe.
At any rate, maybe Luviano will rid his truck of the reds and blues so the truck’s more legal. At the very least, ensure people know the truck is a joke. Though, I suppose if there’s any day you should be silly with your car, it’s today!
I leave you with some comments Jason made this morning:
“Imagine giving your boss a ride to the airport and they walk out and see that. “”I take my booty patrolling very seriously, sir. Before I get you to the terminal, I have a report on some booty I need to look into, it’ll only be a second.”” (flips on lights and siren)
This morning we all had a debate in our team’s Slack about whether this is too immature, too silly, or maybe even misogynistic [Ed Note: I was against this post. -DT]. What do you think? Are these people going too far, or is it just some car fun?
Another day, another reason I want to channel Foghorn Leghorn and say to the entire world, “That’s a JOKE, son.”
Luviano should have told officers that he was a member of Parliament. For how else can you capture a booty if you don’t attack from the back?
It’s just not very clever or funny. Like a pull my finger “joke”. Ha ha?
There is a Crown Vic around here with some take on this. I think theirs looks like the DHS cars, rather than Border Patrol. No one is confusing it for a real LEO.
I definitely think Crown Vics have the advantage of being 12 years old (at the youngest) and so only the worst-off police departments still have any (I wouldn’t say “none left” but I’m sure it’s relatively few at this point).
Booty Patrol eh..
So he’s a corrections officer?
It’s just part of the inmate intake process.
This makes perfect sense. With all the asses moving to Florida over the porous border with Alabama and Georgia, average citizens have to be vigilant and help stem the flow.
I feel like this is the more modern equivalent of those silhouetted nude women chrome badges.
Guess I should be careful who’s around when I whip out my Federal Boobie Inspector badge.
Thank you for your service.
Not all heroes wear capes
When I was in college some [mumble mumble] years ago, someone had taken a late-80s or early 90s Japanese sedan, painted it with spraypaint to resemble camo, and then printed on the side in the exact same font used by official university vehicles:
Weirdly, my first thought was, “Huh, I didn’t know we had a secret police force. But why are they driving an import?”
Milton Friedman and Friedrich Hayek approve.
I can’t recall if it had the phoenix though…
My recollection was no phoenix, but I only saw the car once. They were secret, you see.
I hope your second thought was, “They’re not very secretive.”
I don’t think it’s misogynistic since both sexes are equipped with booties and who knows which (if not both) he was trolling, but I could see silly, offensive, and childish being apt descriptions. However, I also think that if you look up 18-year old in the dictionary, those words would also feature prominently in the definition.
“At least we have assholes, you dumb girls!”
-Butters Stotch
Yeah, I didn’t read this one as misogynistic, either, TBH. I kinda lump this butt truck in with the “I EAT ASS” sticker case. Everybody’s got a booty. Some people are just more enthusiastic about the booty than others. This clearly seems to be in appreciation of the booty. Vaya con cornholio, amigos.
Well if you think the owner of the truck likes a booty joke, another news station in the same area had a field reporter who went ball-istic with the euphemisms on this story!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nz4QCs6OchM
“THE ANSWER IS IN THE BOOTY.” Hahaha, I’m dying.
That young buck reporter was probably strutting like a peacock after that segment for getting away with saying all that on-air, lol
I’m in Phoenix. I’m shocked there weren’t multiple examples from our fair state listed as Dbags have been doing this here for the last few years
As for me and my house, we respect the thicc booty line.
Let him have his fun, I guess. As long as it’s a clear parody, it’s way less cringey than the thot/simp versions. Dude just likes some booty.
(re: the last question—y’all know me. I see butt jokes, I click.)
I giggled at the booty truck. As long as you’re not pulling people over and lighting up the red and blue lights to get away with speeding and running red lights and stuff I’m fine with a some harmless fun.
I don’t understand the thot and simp trucks because I don’t know what those terms mean in this context, and I fear that this is what getting old feels like.
I have no idea why I know this: “That Ho Over There”
Huh. That’s a new one for me. Thank you.
If I were to make a Ho-themed truck* I probably wouldn’t go with the acronym but rather stick a snowplow on the front and apply “Ho Patrol” lettering to parody snow patrol trucks. Maybe make some jokes about “plowing”. But none of this is really my particular style.
*First I would have had to make a lot of different life choices…
Urban dictionary is your friend. Don’t worry, the definition is SFW.
Urban Dictionary: Simp
Thank you. My guess was going to be that it was short for “simpleton” but that didn’t really make sense in the context.
I hope when a virgin comes up to him on Halloween and says three witches are on the loose, he doesn’t ignore them like the other fake cop. 😉
/halloween-reference-david-won’t-get
Also, I wish I had that much money to trick out my very expensive truck when I was 18. My first car cost less than $12.5k and I was 21 with a fairly lucrative internship lined up.
Yeah, having that kind of cash at 18 boggles my mind.
My first car cost $280 (apparently $790 today). Ratted out mustang 2, two tone olive green and iron oxide.
The best feature was the “repairs” the previous owner made to the wheel wells, using flattened tin cans as sheet metal.
Wish I had pics.
There’s no way those decals and light bars cost 12k. He’s putting us on.
Tangential but kinda related question for our UK autopians that this brings to mind:
Not too long ago, word hit the riding community here in the States of a thing in the London area where people were selling fluorescent motorcycle vests emblazoned with “Polite Mention (think motorcyclists!)” or similar, written in such a way that at a quick glance, it appeared to say “Police Metropolitan.”
Did this really happen, were riders really wearing these things, fooling people into thinking they were the police? Or was it a media overreaction (fitting I ask this on Halloween…) to something minor?
For reference, motorcycle cops here in the states almost never wear fluorescent gear, and often prefer ’50s perfecto-style black leather jackets and big Harleys.
Those were worthy of a chuckle.
But… the amount of money spent on that. Oof. I’m all for throwing a bit of cash down to make a joke but that’s pretty extreme. I can’t play the vid but nothing done to that truck sounds like it should cost that much. Maybe I’m just and out of touch poor.
Here ya go. The anchors are the best part of the story…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zzgmc4juRQ
Yeah, I don’t know if I can get behind this. I suppose it’s meant to just be cheeky fun, but it makes the guy look like kind of an ass, frankly.
Also, he spent $7500 on that graphics package? That alone should make him the butt of jokes.
I can’t see how it cost that much unless he bought a printer to do it, which isn’t bad and could be used to earn him some money. Even worse is $5-friggin’k for a few stupid lights unless he paid someone else to instal them and they really ripped him off. (Also, what a dumbass to not know about the blue/red lights. Green is usually OK and would match, though I don’t know FL specifics.)
Florida man if he was a border patrol officer
I’m not sure what the answer is to Mercedes’ question, but I’ll note that at least these are more egalitarian than the seemingly now-disbanded FBI agency that seemed to have a lot of officers in the mid- to late-90s, often deployed at beaches and lower-end drinking establishments.
First thing I thought of too.
There were plenty of agents in the halls of middle school as well.
I think you would have had to do something like turn your shirt inside out if you wore that “uniform” to my school.
That also came to mind but your writing of it is so so so so good
Even if freedom of expression leads to things you think are inappropriate, it also lets you know who to avoid.in life
Personally, I think it’s funny
Is it tasteless? Yes. Is it immature? Yes. Should people get bent out of shape about it? No. Live your life and let others live theirs. Life is too short to get bent out of shape about everything you don’t agree with.
If you like to tongue punch balloon knots, then there’s certainly taste in Booty Patrol.
Pro tip for everyone. DO NOT google that at work if you are not aware of the reference.
Counterpoint- You can search for it as long as your boss is cool. As for HR, eh…
I was going to mention the Thot Patrol truck here in San Diego but you beat me to it. The guy also has a Chevy SS done up in an Aussie “Thot Patrol” theme.
Seems like a desperate plea for attention but as an Aussie expat it is kinda funny to see this out and about.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWGz9zlyBLM
Thot, a term I had to google and likely to use in the future.
Jeez. Tell us you have a ‘friend’ without telling us you have a ‘friend’
Geez DT has even gone fully Cali PC and non-offensive in his transformation.
Buzz off. There are plenty of reasons an editor might be against running a story.
Thanks for telling us you have no ‘friends’.
Jason and Matt thought the story was perfect for Halloween, but David thought it was a bit too far. Matt was the tie-breaker!
That’s why I sent it to the tips inbox instead of directly to that wet spaghetti blanket DT’s. 🙂
Also, you are 100% correct that the meat and potatoes is in the delivery of the local newscasters. It had me laughing for the many times I have watched it.
When David is the voice of reason, you know that we live in the Good Place.
Now I really want to know about some of the stories that got canned
I say that mostly in jest!
Today David learns that sarcasm does not translate well to text. 😉
Oh no. Sarcasm translates super well to text. Everyone gets our jokes. We never have to explain any of them.
Are his patrol reports publicly available?
For posterior reasons, of course.
So $12,500 in modifications because he was bored. No wonder people can’t pay their college loans back or save for retirement.
Yes that is lot of money! Hopefully he is not in Arrears with his debts! ヽ(͡◕ ͜ʖ ͡◕)ﾉ
Gubmit’s gonna grab his ass-ets.
Do people spent $12.5k on stupider things? Oh, yeah. Anyone who owns an old German car could fall into that category.
But if this guy is pulling women over at night with his truck that looks vaguely like a govt vehicle, there is a real reason to be concerned.
I resemble that remark!
E46 M3 owner
I do too!
Dual MBZ owner
Thinks of flickering oil pressure light, raises hand
It’s just sad to live in a country where the #1 cause of personal bankruptcy is silly automotive modification debt. 🙁