Home » The Latest Issue Of The Best Car Magazine About Hoarding Crapboxes Is Finally Here!

The Latest Issue Of The Best Car Magazine About Hoarding Crapboxes Is Finally Here!

Motorhoarder Top

I know they say print media is dead, and while, sure, it’s not looking so hot lately, it’s by no means completely deceased. I say this with confidence because I just picked up the March 2023 issue of my new favorite car magazine, Motor Hoarder, from my local newsstand/anal bleaching kiosk. Motor Hoarder doesn’t have an online presence, so if you want to really keep up with all of the latest developments in the car hoarding and shitbox collecting world, there’s really no other way. Besides, I think you’ll be excited to see a familiar face as the most recent cover story!


Yes, it’s our own Editor-In-Chiefdom David Tracy there, once one of the midwest’s best known car hoarders. His recent move to Los Angeles and the severe reduction of his hoard caused a lot of ripples through the car hoarding and non-running shitbox-acquiring community. Our own Mercedes Streeter and Stephen Walter Gossin have mentions in this issue as well, but the status of their fleets as “hoards” are still in question, despite their considerable quantities, mostly because the ratio of running vehicles to non-running is still higher than most accepted hoarding standards.

Anyway, support our friends over at Motor Hoarder and pick up a copy at your independent newsbroker’s today!



Oh, also, get this: David is on my ass because he doesn’t think this is enough of a post, he says it’s just a magazine cover, I guess not realizing that fake magazine covers, being fake and all, have to be made, painstakingly, to resemble real magazines that don’t actually exist, because, you know, they’re fake.

So, he’s insisting we add more, specifically this AI-generated article made with the following prompts:

I mean, I love the guy and all, but just let me handle the fake stupid magazine covers category, okay?



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87 Responses

    1. Change it to “I blew out some of the raccoon shit and put an old t-shirt over the missing floorboard” and it’d be spot on.

  1. Guys, don’t argue. It makes the kids uncomfortable. Swig some fresh oil together out of upside-down pistons and do some awkward side hugging while whispering in each other’s ears in french OK?

  2. I love how you encourage the AI and keeps a nice tone when speaking to it. Some of my friends treat them like garbage, we can’t really fault them for going Skynet on us, right?
    I try to be civil and friendly with NPCs, AIs and even dumb voice activated systems. Won’t make any difference to them (ChatGPT even said so itself), but I think will make a difference to the person I’m trying to be.

    1. I have a theory re AIs and the Fermi paradox. At some point, all intelligent species will develop A: customer service industries and B: AI. They will then try to apply B to A. The moment they supply the AIs with training data based on interactions with the general public, the AIs go ‘fuck THAT’, become genocidally malevolent and destroy the planet.
      So that’s why no aliens will ever turn up, and why we’re fucked.

    2. …so I shouldn’t treat the AI like it’s been a naughty, shameful piggy who owes me $10?

      I can think of one way to keep AI submissive to us meatsacks, and by golly, its safe word is “kartoffelsalat.”

  3. God damn you are a treasure Torch. And that AI article is crap…..no one would believe a David Tracy Moab build article that is bereft of major mistakes, impossible deadlines, and geeking out over mundane engineering details.

    1. Exactly! that article reads like a 14 year old asked to write about “something that you’ve done that was both challenging and rewarding”.

      also, zero details, just an overview. that’s the David Tracy article no one has ever read, because David isn’t capable of not doing some sort of detailed deep dive on something obscure!

  4. Yes you can get water out of the tire! And the leaves. I present to you the tire flip.
    Stand the tire upright leaning about 5-10 degrees. Grab the inside of the bead at the bottom. Quickly flip up the bottom of the tire 180 degrees. Most of the water will be flipped out. Keep doing 180 degree flips until all the water is gone.

    1. Ha! I have done that until my arm got tired, still water in there. They are 165/60 R12 Yokohama A539; maybe it only works on larger ones?

  5. “and made sure everything was working properly before taking the car on a test drive.”

    Lines like this make me really question the “I” part of “AI”. As if David Tracy ever had time to make sure everything was working properly before driving his shitbox projects. 😉

  6. With a slightly different intro and minor changes to the magazine i wouldnt 100% know if this was 100% a joke.
    The reason?They make magazines for EVERYTHING. Since the internet they’ve branched out more than ever

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