It’s been roughly three years since the Jaguar XJ was discontinued, which presents a problem for charming, caddish white-collar criminals all over the world. What sort of charming big sedan is there to buy once their XJs break? It certainly wouldn’t be the straight-faced Audi A8, nor the dignified Mercedes-Benz S-Class. The technofuturist BMW 7-Series is out completely, as is the outdated Maserati Quattroporte and the very serious Porsche Panamera. So what’s an affable cad to do? Whether you pulled a spot of PPP fraud or simply haven’t paid taxes since Reagan was in office, you may want to spend your ill-gotten gains on this, the new Bentley Flying Spur Speed.
For those who don’t know, ‘Speed’ is the trim moniker that Bentley gives to its fastest vehicles (i.e. Bentley Continental GT Speed), because Type R is far too bourgeois.
The engineers at Crewe have tuned the Flying Spur Speed’s twin-turbocharged W12 engine to produce a very stout 626 horsepower and 664 lb.-ft. of torque. Putting it all down through a ZF eight-speed automatic gearbox and all-wheel-drive nets a quoted zero to 60 mph time of 3.7 seconds on the way to a top speed of 207 mph. Imagine doing 207 mph in Cholmondeley Castle.
Best of all, there’s more to that aforementioned all-wheel-drive system than quick runs up to 60 mph. In comfort mode, the Flying Spur Speed can send up to 53 percent of the engine’s torque to the front axle. However, in sport mode, the all-wheel-drive system will only send a maximum of 206 lb.-ft. of torque to the front axle. Perfect for tight getaways where you may need to gingerly rotate through a hairpin or two without sending cigar ashes flying about the cabin. Maybe you just dine-and-dashed a Michelin Star restaurant, we’re not here to judge.
Further preventing any accidental decanting of the pilfered Moët & Chandon you may have in the rear seat refrigerator is four-wheel steering and Bentley Dynamic Ride, a pair of 48-volt active anti-roll bars that aim to offer both exceptional ride quality and flat handling. Hauling this leather-lined missile down to legal speeds are what Bentley claims to be the largest iron brake discs on any car in the world. The front discs measure a very nice 420 mm in diameter, or 16.53 inches in imperial units. For context, that’s larger than a wheel from an early Bentley Turbo R. Isn’t progress wonderful?
Unfortunately, progress also makes the Flying Spur Speed a bit of a rarity. See, the Flying Spur Speed is now the only way to get a W12 in a Flying Spur. According to a Bentley media release, the standard Flying Spur W12 was discontinued way back in May. Sure, the four-liter turbocharged V8 in standard Flying Spur models is a good engine, but it just doesn’t hold the same cachet as packing twelve cylinders does. Bentley claims that the Flying Spur Speed will do 15 L/100km on the WLTP combined cycle, or about 15.6 mpg.
The Flying Spur Speed isn’t for everyone, but Bentley still expects one in three Flying Spurs sold in America and Europe to be Speed models. So, for you Terry-Thomas types, this preposterously fast Bentley sedan just might be what you need to outrun scorned lovers, restaurant bills, and the tax collector, and do it all in style.
Bro, not the title ????
Also, I’m pretty sure that the Jaaaag crowd has moved on to Maserati.
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So delightful! I will pick up two when I see my Bentley dealer next fortnight.
Okay, so you can outrun Inland Revenue and the coppers. Won’t do you much good when you own one of five such cars in the country.
Fuck off with your suggestion that you have to be criminal to afford nice things.
Are you too stupid to get the joke or did you understand it, decide you prefer your interpretation and then come down here to defend the wealthy from a non-existent attack on their honor? I don’t know which I’d rather be true. I suppose a little of option A is necessary to even get to option B.
I mean I suppose you could also be Bruce Wayne…
Assuming you haven’t seen it – the Jaguar “Villain” commercial: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=B-_30ZRZAI0 – that’s the reference to Jaguar, that’s the bit being done here.
Meh. I mean, it’s cool and all, but Bentleys just don’t have the presence they used too. Google the Bentley Speed Six: that’s a badass car with panache! It looks like they would have had to pre-screen their customers; “I’m sorry, sir: your country just isn’t big enough to qualify. Tell you what, give us a call when you acquire a volcanic lair, and we can work something out.”
I always thought Bentley doesn’t know how do design a good rear end, especially considering the iconic front end on their cars. The backend has been quite plain. I see this one appears to be making a stylized B in the taillight which is an improvement
to be fair, they went straight from getting bodies coachbuilt for them, to recycling rolls-royce rear end sheet metal, they haven’t had all that much practise.
Ok, you can shit on me all you want (hold your horses there, Jim Norton. You weirdo).
Anyway, the point is…is that I think it’s actually a pretty cool ride. Yeah, sure, it’s fun to make “eat the rich” jokes and all that, but that doesn’t negate the fact that this car is neat. It’s a ride that I doubt anyone here would say “no” to.
Let’s not go all ja(ahem, cough, spit, purge)likky on social issues, when this is clearly about a car that is one of the last 12’s to ever be built by a “major” manufacturer. It’s kinda important in that way…
Count me as someone who’d say “no” to it. Bentley just hasn’t been the same ever since it was acquired by British Central Equitable Trust.
I call “bullshit”.
No, it’s just a matter of my tastes not conforming to your expectations.
The author is not making political statements. They’re jokes. Remember Top Gear? The old one, Clarkson et al? Recall their thoughts on Jaguars. This is the new Jaaaaaag. The perfect conveyance for an upper class criminal of the type beloved in British light comedies. That’s what the author is getting at. Not the eat the rich stuff. Plenty of more expensive cars out there if that’s something they wanted to discuss.
I’m a little surprised myself at the attempts to make this political too. There’s nothing in the article that really reads that way.
I just picture a guy in a perfectly-tailored suit, impossible hair, maybe a very thin mustache getting into this as he leaves the club after orchestrates a con that involves pretending to be minor royalty and/or owning a large company in a developing country.
Or…just Michael Caine in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.
It was funny and he has some great sarcastic zings! I’m not trying to make it all political, I just wanna know more about the car 🙂 Not a crazy ask on my part. We are talking cars, after all.
The screw covers are the best part of this.
Dammit, wrong article! That was meant for the VW.
As for the Bentley, it’s cool I guess. It’s fun to make a bloated luxo-barge fast.
I understand the confusion, they’re both big VWs, after all
Bentley screw covers depict the forlorn faces of the subjugated poors.
There are no screws to cover on a Bentley, just a great many hired help holding things together for you.