Home » The Place Where Brown Comes From: Cold Start

The Place Where Brown Comes From: Cold Start

Cs Brown
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Have you ever been drinking a warm, rich cup of coffee, or eating a brownie or wad of cooked beef or a fistful of loamy soil or a chunk of hickory and wondered hey, where does brown come from? Of course you have; you’re a people. Well, my friends, wonder no more, because I’m here to clear up the mystery for you. Brown comes from what you see above right there, in that rich, brownery brownscape with the pair of 1970 Ford 20Ms. It’s the Grand Browntain, the fountain of brown off the coast of Umberia that provides the world with all the brown it needs.

Back in the 1970s, it was common to make pilgrimages to the Grand Browntain, as you can see in that picture. Often, as shown, people would bring dogs like Dalmatians there so they could be converted into browner dogs. This is partially why brown is by far the most common dog color, beating out the more natural greens and blues that would have dominated canines if not affected by the Grand Browning.

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

The Grand Browntain still exists, though access to it is much more restricted now, since scientists predict that if we keep extracting brown, it could collapse onto itself, forming a brown hole that will  – okay, I can’t go on. Let’s leave it there.

I’m not apologizing, though.

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CrystalEyes
CrystalEyes
1 year ago

It could be more brown if some of the people were brown maybe? At the yacht club? No?

Memphomike
Memphomike
1 year ago

SOMEBODY CLOSE THE FREAKING DOORS!

Trust Doesn't Rust
Trust Doesn't Rust
1 year ago

Combine some brown from the Grand Browntain and some water and you get some good gravy.

…and I’ll wait if anyone catches on to that Simpsons deep cut…

Andy Individual
Andy Individual
1 year ago
Jonee Eisen
Jonee Eisen
1 year ago

That coupe is a heck of a good looking car. With wheel covers that are divine.

Jeff Gillio
Jeff Gillio
1 year ago

I’ll bet that’s where Eddie Van Halen got his signature brown sound.

Lokki
Lokki
1 year ago

Anyone else noticed how the interior of the nearer car, seen through the windshield, seems to be vibrating? That was a big problem on these cars…. happened every time the upholstery got wet, or even damp, or sometimes just from high humidity like you might find near the shore.

It was so common, they gave a name to the phenomena – “Brownian Motion”….

Hotdoughnutsnow
Hotdoughnutsnow
1 year ago

I know it’s not the point of this post, but that coupe is really nice; very clean lines and the color-matched wheel covers… I’d drive that to the marina any day.

Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
1 year ago

So good. So BROWN. I love it.

MATTinMKE
MATTinMKE
1 year ago

Never apologize Torch!

Unless it for leaving us hanging on the last installment (or 2) of “Torch & Tracy’s Epic Road Trip”.

That you should definitely be apologizing for.

The Toecutter
The Toecutter
1 year ago

Jason is lucky the Brownian Movement hasn’t undergone a phase shift and taken him to Brown Town.

Ivan256
Ivan256
1 year ago

Can’t help but leave a reminder in threads about brown in the ’70s that things were significantly more colorful back then than they are now:

https://dailyinfographic.com/most-popular-car-colors

Beer-light Guidance
Beer-light Guidance
1 year ago

Ah yes, the Grand Browntain. Just a short drive down the Hershey Highway.

Canopysaurus
Canopysaurus
1 year ago

I detect the work of The Uranus Corporation and their miracle polymer, Brown 25:
“It has the strength of steel, the flexibility of rubber, and the nutritional value of beef stew. Brown 25, because things come out different from Uranus.”

Conehead1978
Conehead1978
1 year ago
Reply to  Canopysaurus

“Everything in your world come from Uranus.”

Chris with bad opinions
Chris with bad opinions
1 year ago

The sitting Dalmatian has that classic dog look of “Are you kidding me with this shit”. I know, I’ve seen it from my dog many times.

Gary Moller
Gary Moller
1 year ago

The guy and his girl at the top of the picture are discussing a quick trip to Browntown for the afternoon.

Larry B
Larry B
1 year ago
Reply to  Gary Moller

When you’re alone and life is making you lonely
You can always go
Browntown

SquareTaillight2002
SquareTaillight2002
1 year ago

“Look, I spotted two Dalmatians!”
“No, they come that way.”

IRegertNothing, Esq.
IRegertNothing, Esq.
1 year ago

HQ, we have a confirmed dad joke on the loose.

Mr.Asa
Mr.Asa
1 year ago

(To the tune of “Blue (Da Ba Dee)” except played by a polka band)

Yo, listen up here’s a story
About a little guy
That lives in a brown world
And all day and all night
And everything he sees is just brown
Like him inside and outside
Brown his house
With a brown little window
And a brown chevette
And everything is brown for him
And himself and everybody around
Cause he ain’t got nobody to listen to

I’m brown
Oompa da ba di
Oompa da ba di
Oompa da ba di
Oompa da ba di
Oompa da ba di
Oompa da ba di
Oompa da ba di
I’m brown

YahDereHey
YahDereHey
1 year ago
Reply to  Mr.Asa

I’m brown (I’m really brown)
I’m brown (brown on the ground)
I’m brown (I’m really brown)
How can you laugh when you know I’m brown?
(How can you laugh?) When you know I’m brown?

[Guitar solo]

(apologies to Sir Paul…)

Andy Individual
Andy Individual
1 year ago
Reply to  YahDereHey

Stop with the brown noise already!

Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
1 year ago
Reply to  Mr.Asa

Congratulations, this is better than that stupid “I’m Good” rework.

Delta 88
Delta 88
1 year ago

Why is it that so many pictures from the 70’s have the same hue that is used to infer that a scene is taking place in Mexico in modern movies and tv shows? It’s like the world was fogged by some kind of iced tea ether that everyone had to waft through

Amberturnsignalsarebetter
Amberturnsignalsarebetter
1 year ago
Reply to  Delta 88

I sepia what you did there.

A. Barth
A. Barth
1 year ago

It’s like, how much more brown could this be? And the answer is none. None more brown.

Also at a quick glance they appear to be standing on thick carpet rather than gravel.

StillNotATony
StillNotATony
1 year ago

Isn’t the ultimate Brownian generator a nice, hot cup of tea? Douglas Adams said so, at least…

IRegertNothing, Esq.
IRegertNothing, Esq.
1 year ago

The last time I saw that shade of brown, I was on my knees scrubbing the carpet and telling my kid that she’s not allowed to feed the puppy cheese from now on.

StillNotATony
StillNotATony
1 year ago

I’m not sure I want my beef measured in units of “wads”.

Chris with bad opinions
Chris with bad opinions
1 year ago
Reply to  StillNotATony

Do you prefer hunks?

StillNotATony
StillNotATony
1 year ago

Maybe slabs?

David Smith
David Smith
1 year ago
Reply to  StillNotATony

I think this is the correct answer. Unless all isn’t considered too glutinous?

Justin Short
Justin Short
1 year ago
Reply to  StillNotATony

MEAT WAD!

Donald Petersen
Donald Petersen
1 year ago

Now I feel moved to go download a brown load.

(Tucks newspaper under arm, ascends stairs)

NewBalanceExtraWide
NewBalanceExtraWide
1 year ago

Wouldn’t it be more an upload? I’m imagining ingesting a brown load from the cloud and feel a little queasy.

Óscar Morales Vivó
Óscar Morales Vivó
1 year ago

In more technical terms this should be called a core dump.

Paul Brogger
Paul Brogger
1 year ago

A
brownian motion?

Martin Ibert
Martin Ibert
1 year ago

These Fords are not British Fords; they have the wheel on the correct side for driving on the right side of the road. This picture is apparently from a Dutch brochure, not a Browntish one.

Hotdoughnutsnow
Hotdoughnutsnow
1 year ago
Reply to  Martin Ibert

I thought the Dutch ones had steering wheels on both sides, so you could split the driving duties.

Adrian Clarke
Adrian Clarke
1 year ago
Reply to  Martin Ibert

Yah, they’re Ford of Germany products, before it merged with Ford of Britain to become Ford of Europe (I’m not making this up). They came together in about ’67 or ’68. The Mk1 Capri was the first FoE car, but design and development duties (were and still are) split between Dunton in Essex and Cologne in Germany.

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